When the girlfriend of 22-year-old Owen discovered adult videos of trans women on his phone, she suddenly became hateful and insecure: She cried, wondered if he was secretly gay and if she was just his beard, mocked him, repeatedly said that he probably wished she had a “d*ck” and simulated topping him in bed.
Vice recently interviewed four men who are attracted to trans women but afraid of expressing their desires for fear of being mistreated or rejected by society and their loved ones.
Another man’s well-intentioned girlfriend worried that his attraction to trans women treated was merely a dehumanizing fetish — after all, many adult videos and other people treat trans women like objects. Little did she realize that by treating him like a “tr*nny-chaser” she acted like he was flawed and immoral for liking trans women.
Related: YouTuber Jake Paul accused of transphobia after team kicks 2 trans women out of his house
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Trans journalist Diana Tourjée says men who are attracted to trans women may experience severe anxiety or depression over fear of being rejected by others for their attraction. As a result, these men often hide their feelings which affects their ability to openly love themselves, discuss their attractions with similarly attracted men and be present for their their trans partners.
When Lucas, a 40-year-old depressive from Brazil, admitted to his sister that he was in love with a trans woman named Natasha, his sister said “his ‘life would be ruined’ and that his whole family would turn their backs on him if he didn’t end his relationship with Natasha,” writes Tourjée. Horrified, Lucas broke up with Natasha and has been suicidal ever since. He feels like he’ll never be able to share his attraction with anyone, least of all his son.
Sadly, this self-shame doesn’t just affect the men, their trans partners and their loved ones. Some men feel so afraid and self-loathing for their love of trans women that they hurt or kill trans women to show that they’re stronger than their desire.
jjose712
Someone should explain his girlfriend that gay men are attracted to men not to trans women
bonbon
And straight men aren’t attracted to anyone with a dick.
Man About Town
They not only get mistreated, sometimes they get bludgeoned to death, like Barry Winchell. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend the film about him “Soldier’s Girl”
JED08
It was good except for that part. It’s worth it just to see Lee Pace portray Calpernia Addams.
JessPH
Do they prefer trans women over cis women because many trans women have dicks? Then that makes them gay.
Daniel Villarreal
Are straight men masturbating to porn that shows penises in them? Because that makes them gay.
Cam
It’s always cute when the anti-LGBT trolls come in here and think they aren’t obvious.
Explain to me how this issue is so important to you.
Donston
I’m sure very few men who have overall preferences towards trans women consider themselves “gay”. Though I have had a couple of trans friends who considered their boyfriends “gay” and another who was completely dismissive towards identity. There are quite a few dudes who have preferences towards trans women and embrace being seen as “queer” and/or “bi”. My brother dated a trans woman for a few months and messed around with dudes for years but ultimately considers himself “straight”. I “dated” a trans dick for a few weeks and cis women for a few years and see myself as a “gay pansexual”. Besides, nowadays what is “trans” is becoming more a question mark since more people who don’t indulge hormones and surgeries are embracing trans identities. It’s all some convoluted shit. When you get away from social media it becomes apparent that everyone has different views on all this stuff.
greybat
They are Girls with Something Extra!
Robothedestroyer
I think you may be confusing trans women with men which they are not. A trans woman may have a penis but she is still all woman, and being attracted to female things (look, sound, smell… everyone forgets how important smell is to sex) makes those men straight. It’s kinda insulting you are saying that men, women, and eveything between are defined only my their genitalia. I know I’m more than my dick maybe you’re different.
Donston
Queerty again makes the mistake of taking real and complicated issues on sexuality, love, sense of self, the spectrum, sociological struggles, and reduces them to another article that merely promotes self-pity and identity politics.
Daniel Villarreal
Then why don’t you elucidate us on the true complexity of this issue, Walter Cronkite?
Hdtex
Did you get lost on the way to Breitbart?
notasjw
Imagine sitting around thinking up BS like this! The headline sounds like it was written by a 13 year old.
Daniel Villarreal
Oh yeah, what would be a better headline, since you’re so much smarter than this middle schooler?
Loki
It’s heteroSEXUAL, not heteroGENDERIST…
If you’re attracted to “transgenders,” you’re not straight…
CJones01
“Heterosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between persons of the opposite sex or gender.”
A transgender individual seeks to express gender in a way that is different to the biological sex and gender they were born as. Someone born as a biological male, and raised to express male gender, would want to express feminine gender to some degree.
A man attracted to people who express feminine genders would still be straight.
bonbon
Let me guess CJones01, you lifted that quote straight from Wikipedia? Go have a look at the cited sources and you’ll see that none of them mention gender in the context of sexual orientation. They only mention it as same SEX attraction. Whoever maintains this page is misrepresenting their sources likely for ideological reasons.
Lucifer
If you are a straight guy and you can’t tell the gorgeous transgender woman you are looking at isn’t a biological female, you are indeed attracted to them. Whether or not you still feel that attraction with her naked is the determining factor for most people. Pretty is pretty. It’s whether that is enough that matters. If it matters, you are most likely straight. If it doesn’t you are not completely straight. But not necessarily gay or bi or pan or omni or whatever. But, let’s face it… before you know for sure, you ARE going to check out her Face, T&A. Deal with it. We’re not sorry for confusing you. That’s a you problem.
Gay Veteran
With linking of Angel B. Curiel and Janet Mock, whether true or now, we’re starting to very slowly see things normalized. With women like MJ Rodriquez, Indya Moore, Angelica Ross, and Janet Mock breaking into the mainstream hopefully will be able to see the men that love them stand proudly by their side. Once we start seeing these relationships in the mainstream it’ll be normalized.
Lucifer
Here here!!!
Kangol2
Weird that Queerty just reported about 50 Cent’s mockery of Young Buck for hooking up with a trans woman but fails to mention that story here. Do the reporters not look at the stories their colleagues post?
wiredpup
Thoughts and prayers.
Yooper
Can’t make sense of it, but I love a pony car.
curiobi
…. What? A 40 year old depressive …. feels he will never be able to express… Okay, this is not shade but this is poorly written and confusing. What link are you making between depression, trans gender, and men who like trans women?
Why have so many different topics been crammed into so short an article?
Why no studies or facts to give context?
Look, this is about serious issues, not a fluff peice about hot celebrities so I think it should have been better researched and presented, to explain something, or raise some awareness?
As it stands it kind of reads like a reddit post, not journalism. Maybe a second lengthier story, with a greater focus on reporting? I look forward to reading it.
Thanks as ever Queerty. Please consider reporting more on the issues touched upon in this article.
Rex Huskey
not sure what the accompanying pic has to do with the piece
jonasalden
Wouldn’t a straight guy be attracted to a trans woman because he thought she was cis? I’m not sure I understand why he’d be SPECIFICALLY attracted to trans women.
djmcgamester
Yeah, I don’t see the problem here. I’ve seen instances where people have their world flipped upside down by discovering they’re dating a trans person. That is, they continue to have feelings for, and attracted to, that person. Sexuality is complicated and that’s okay. I’m not about to label a guy gay for being attracted to a trans woman. In the end, he likes what he likes. If we’re trying to be inclusive then these people need to be able to explore their sexuality without having people tell that they’re just closet cases. That closes them off and makes them feel less welcome.