The Dudes Doth Protest Too Much...

“Straight” Men File “Gay” Lawsuit

Some straight men will go to great lengths to prove their heterosexuality. Take, for example, 29-year old Ross Weil and his pal, 28-year old Brett Royce. The terrible twosome are suing alma mater American University for $1.5 million after the university erroneously announced their same-sex marriage:

[The men] filed a $1.5 million defamation suit against American University in Manhattan federal court on Aug. 30, claiming the school acted maliciously and with “gross negligence” by printing the announcement.

The Class Notes section of the spring edition of American Magazine, a quarterly publication for the Washington, D.C., university, asserted that Weil and Royce tied the knot in Boston on June 10, 2006.

The newsletter also trumpeted that Weil, a certified public accountant, was named “chief operating officer of the Gay Rights Brigade,” a made-up group.

“No one contacted my clients to check the information,” said lawyer Michael Kaufman, who represents Manhattan residents Weil and Royce. “Obviously, neither of my clients submitted it.”

The lawyer also insists this lawsuit has nothing to do with homophobia. Of course not. It’s just supreme stupidity.