pick of the twitter

Are straight people OK? 17 Twitter users baffled by their behavior.

Straight couple

By this point, observing straight-person behavior has become an anthropological exercise for us queers. So much so that there’s a whole subreddit called “Are the Straights OK?”

Take a scroll through the posts there, and you’re bound to see countless memes from straights who are apparently miserable. (Or, to borrow a turn of phrase from the Bifocals podcasters, “it would seem that the heteros are upseteros.”) And these straights are expressing that misery through sexist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, and otherwise icky humor.

Then again, if straight people are acting out, perhaps it’s because they’re afraid for their very existence. Remember, according to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, the cishet human is an endangered species. “Probably in about four or five generations, no one will be straight anymore,” Greene said in a speech to her supporters in May. “Everyone will be either gay or trans or nonconforming or whatever the list of 50 or 60 different options there are.” (Um, far more than 50 or 60, MTG, but that’s a start!)

Related: Straight people: These are the things LGBTQ people wish you understood

Or maybe the straights getting rowdy because they’re not as straight as they presumed themselves to be: Recall that recent University of Sydney study that found that people went from straight-identified to straight-ish after merely reading a one-page documents about varying sexualities.

In any case, Twitter users are doing their best to understand straight-person behavior… and still coming up empty. Observe the tweets below, which beg for answers about the heteros among us.

Related: If you feel nervous around straight people, you’re not alone