know thyself

‘Am I straight?’ quiz: Questions to ask yourself

It’s not uncommon for some people to experience confusion regarding their sexual orientation at some point in their lives. Feeling unsure about your notions of sexual attraction can happen regardless of whether you are gay, straight, or bisexual.

In a society that is slowly starting to become more and more open to different kinds of sexual attraction and gender identities, some may feel an overwhelming pressure to come to a conclusion about their sexual orientation as soon as possible.

However, when it comes to sexual preference, remember that only you can figure out what that might be. For the lucky ones, this process of understanding your sexual orientation comes naturally. For others, it can be a grueling process that might lead to much stress or unpleasant romantic and sexual experiences.

Read on to learn how to figure out whether you are heterosexual, as well as what steps to take to ensure your safety both mentally and physically.

Illustration of gender symbols in bed

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The Changing Societal Expectations Surrounding Sexuality

It is only quite recently that tolerance towards what would have been deemed “unconventional” sexual attraction has become much more widespread globally. It’s no question that society, throughout human history, has been generally heteronormative. 

For those unfamiliar with the term, heteronormativity is the idea that being straight is the default and expected form of sexual preference, and that all other sexual identities are deviant, unnatural, or do not truly exist. 

Advances in the fields of gender psychology and sexology have also revealed that human expressions of sexuality manifest in many ways. In our pursuit of greater understanding, we have created many labels for gender preference, expression, and identity. And for someone currently attempting to discover their own sexual identity, the sheer number of labels that exist today can be potentially confusing.

Is There An “Am I Straight Quiz” That Is Actually Accurate?

There’s no shortage online of websites featuring things like a “how straight am I” quiz or even more specific ones like “how straight am I (female)” quiz. 

Unfortunately, a test that can 100% conclusively determine whether you are straight doesn’t exist. Figuring out whether you feel attracted to the same or opposite sex requires a lot of introspection. You and only can come to the conclusion about your sexual orientation. 

So, be wary of online quizzes or people who try to tell you what your sexual preference is. While a quiz you find online may help you understand yourself, always take it with a grain of salt.

Beyond looking at a quiz online, it’s also recommended that you do some of your own research. Search for accepting communities online and read up on other people’s experiences that are similar to your own. You can also seek out a friend or family member you’re close to so that you have someone to confide in. This will make it easier to process your emotions in a safe space with someone you trust.

Straight or Gay - Traffic sign with two options

Questions To Ask Yourself

Do You Suddenly Feel Sexually Attracted To Someone Of The Opposite Sex?

Perhaps you previously identified as gay or lesbian and have recently noticed a sudden attraction to someone of the opposite sex. Perhaps this has led you to constantly look up and answer every “am I straight” quiz you can find online. 

If you’re feeling confused about these emotions, here are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand the situation:

Am I only attracted to this one person of the opposite gender? 

People are complex creatures that are more than just their genders. It’s not uncommon to sometimes feel attraction to a certain gender you don’t normally go for. Perhaps you’re extremely attracted to their personality and it’s eliciting a strong emotional attraction. It could be the start of understanding your sexual identity better, or it could just be a one-off thing.

Am I attracted to the opposite gender and the same gender at the same time? 

Another possibility is that you could be bi-curious or bi-sexual. You may suddenly find yourself searching online for an “am I bi or straight” quiz.

Do I feel the need to act on your sexual desires to the opposite gender? 

Who arouses you sexually isn’t necessarily the same as who you would want to have sex with.

Young and beautiful couple is lying in bed

Do You Sometimes Feel Pressured By Your Peers To Go Against Heteronormativity?

It’s a relatively common phenomenon for people to bully or mock others for not conforming to certain societal expectations. For example, kids with unconventional names are often teased in school for no other reason than simply being different. This sort of negative societal pressure can, unfortunately, also extend to matters of sexual orientation.

Societal pressure is not exclusively practiced by the majority. Any individual social group has the potential ability to pressure anyone they deem as outliers within that group. This means that a group composed of people who belong to different sexual identities is just as capable of pressuring someone to conform to their beliefs and attitudes as another group comprised of only straight people.

If you are feeling any sort of pressure from your peers regarding your sexuality, remember that their actions have more to do with the human need to conform than what your sexuality has to say about you as an individual.

Pride community on a parade with hands raised and LGBT flag

Should I Tell People?

It’s important to know that no one is ever entitled to this information, whether you are straight, bisexual, gay, or otherwise. Only you can decide who to share your preferences with.

However, if you do feel the need to share, speak to people you’re comfortable with. Ideally, someone you consider a strong and trustworthy pillar within your support network of friends and family.

Heterosexuality And Sexual Health

It’s important to note that everyone is prone to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. It doesn’t matter what genitals you and a sexual partner happen to have – infections can happen to and from a penis, vagina, anus, and mouth. You are at a higher risk of contracting diseases or even getting pregnant if you do not practice safe sex.

Straight people are also at a higher risk of pregnancy. This is likely to happen when having unprotected penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex. Look into contraceptive options to reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancies.

If you require more detailed information about proper sexual health, we recommend doing your own online research. However, make sure that you are only getting your information from legitimate and qualified resources. If you’re unsure about certain things, you can also consider consulting a sexual health clinic near you.

medical equipment, condom in pack and stethoscope

The Bottom Line

Figuring out your sexual orientation can be difficult to process. At the end of the day, remember that there is no pressure to immediately settle on your sexual identity, heterosexual or not. Only you have the autonomy to decide what label you identify as, or even if you would like to identify with a label in the first place.

There is nothing wrong with being heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, or any other sexual orientation. What matters more is that you give the time and respect that you deserve to properly understand who you are. This will lead to healthier relationships with yourself and with others. 

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