Could same-sex marriage be beneficial to your mental health?
That’s the takeaway from a new study from The University of Washington, part of the national investigation “Aging with Pride: National Health, Aging, Sexuality/Gender Study,” which is one of the first to examine same-sex marriage and how it affects mental health.
Related: Tales from the glass closet: These openly gay men married to women insist they are happy
“There were big gaps for health and well-being between married gay couples and gay singles,” says lead author Jayn Goldsen, a research study supervisor at the University of Washington’s School of Social Work.
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According to The New York Daily News, the study surveyed over 1,800 LGBTQ people who were 50 or older.
Roughly 25% of subjects were married, another 25% were involved in a committed relationship, and 50% were single.
On average, married subjects had been together for 23 years; those in committed, unmarried relationships had spent an average of 23 years coupled up.
The survey measured physical and emotional well-being among the study’s subject, and indicated that couples who were either married or in a committed relationship were happier overall than the single subjects. Married couples did the best of the lot.
Related: Legally father and son, this couple is finally on the road to marriage
In order to gauge happiness, subjects were asked questions like “How much do you enjoy life?” and “How satisfied are you with yourself?”
Now, researcher need to discover why married gay couples fared the best. Being openly gay might be an important aspect, according to Goldsen. Children, financial conditions, and co-habitation may also be factors.
Those who were married were more out than those who were unmarried with long-term partners, who, in turn were more out than those who were single.”
Donston
Actually a quasi real study for once.
Not much of a surprise here. I’m a married man who has never been happier. The life of being a happy single homo man in this world takes a certain type of mentality. And I don’t have that.
Quite a large percentage of men who have homo orientations- I’m talking about orientation not identity or behavior or preferences- especially those who are still single at an
“advanced age”, have no real interest in loving a man, committing to another man, compromising for another man or simply lack the ability to do so. Quite a few contend with depression, narcissism, convoluted egos, still being closeted, internalized homophobia, obsession with hetero dynamics. Those are things married gays are less likely to suffer from. Also, the hetero world will show more respect to a married homo couple. You can “fit in” a bit easier. And that always makes people feel better about their place in the world.
Notright
I agree
Heywood Jablowme
Okay, I believe the *openly gay* angle. That’s always good.
But every gay married man I know complains non-stop about his relationship. They don’t make marriage sound very appealing. They make marriage sound like something they did in order to feel superior to ordinary (i.e. supposedly slutty) gay men. Or something they did mostly to impress, or annoy, their own families. Or worse, something they did simply for the real estate and the tax benefits.
They never seem to have sex with each other anymore, either. Often, one of them wants to have sex with ME on a regular basis, because they don’t get any action at home. Yeah, I guess I’ve saved several marriages!
Donston
Most people who post here seem like they hang out with the most horrid of people. Also, the study focused on older gay married couples who probably have had bonds for quite a long time, probably have kids and are less sex obsessed and less self-centered than these marrying millennials.
Heywood Jablowme
@Donston: Thank you for proving my point! Millennial-bashing, yeah, that’s not judgmental at all (smirk) although it’s very good at helping us dinosaurs feel superior.
“less sex obsessed” translation = one is over it, one is gettin’ some on the side.
DMRX
I’m truly sorry that your gay married friends are such unhappy, promiscuous a-holes. Maybe you should find new friends?
Every same-sex, long-term couple I know is quite happy in their partnership or marriage, which is why I’m happy to be joining the married crowd a week from tomorrow.
Heywood Jablowme
@DMRX: Oh, I’m not complaining! I’m quite amused by it all. And it’s interesting how you threw in the word “promiscuous.” They’re not promiscuous by any dictionary definition. You’re projecting that out of your need to feel morally superior. 🙂
A year from now you’ll be bragging to everyone about how much “hard work” your marriage is. Apparently there are a lot of coal miners among gay married couples; they’ve always got to brag about how much “hard work” it is!
GayEGO
My lifetime partner of 55 years have been married for almost 13 years in Massachusetts. We have gay friends both married and single and the happiest ones are married. Happiness is up to us and for us, our relationship is key. We got married to have our equal rights benefits and it did not change our relationship. Some of our gay friends got married to a woman because they were taught that was the thing to do, and had a child, and then got divorced, and married a guy. We have found that our gay friends who are married are happier than our gay friends who are single.
Alan down in Florida
Every gay married man you know sounds like every straight married man I know.
Jules
That’snot true, why would they stop their sexual life?
Scribe38
43 yrs old, with partner of 22 years, married for two years (almost) here. I am happier having someone I can count on than when I was single. I am happier being married than when we were just living together. I don’t know what it is with that piece of paper, but it made me a better, happier person overall.
He BGB
You could just argue that married men gay or straight live longer than bachelors. I’ve heard that all my life.
GayEGO
I have heard that as well.
Jack Meoff
I have my doubts that the results of this study are exclusive to gay people. It seems that these same results would apply to anyone in life regardless of sexual orientation. As for the comments being made here the same thing applies. Lot’s of married couples complain about their partners (my parents did it for years) and many married couples stop having sex with one another and some look for sex elsewhere (how many ‘straight’ married men are having sex with men behind their wife’s back). Conversely many married couples are very happy and still have active sex lives. There are a lot more single straight people in the world these days and they are facing the same issues raised in this study that gay people are facing. Whether they realise it or not we are all becoming more the same than ever.
GayEGO
Well said, relationships of all genders vary the same way. We are all different regardless of whether or not we are gay or straight.
arcoarconcio_passivy
yes my luck the bingu LasVegas InConsert Night last Maimi Beache Summer luck bingu my help
fizz_gig
I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but I’m 34 and have been married to my partner for almost 3 years (been together for 6). I have to say that I’m still just as happy as the first day we were married. I’m way happier as a married man than I ever was as a single man.
GayEGO
Continue on and experience life’s experiences together and do not let outsiders, related or not, try to interfere with your relationship.
chuck
I think personally I would be happier if I could find, fall in love and marry some other guy. Lost my partner of 25 years before any of this was legal. Unfortunately at 66 I’m not seeing it happen. I’m auditioning though. Not always easy…
Doughosier
Yes, marriage is hard. But so is eating alone. Watching tv alone. Sleeping alone.
Bulovaboy
Their happier because they all have open relationships and there just using each other for the benefits like regular heterosexuals. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of people with open relationships just for this reason and those that are married and cheating but say they are happy and maybe some of them are, but let me tell ya they always are looking for sex anywhere they can get it. I believe a very very small amount may actually be with each other for love. But the majority of those are usually from small towns where the gay population is not readily available. Those that travel are constantly looking for sex when not with their partners. I’ve had 3 very good long term relationships over 25 years. I have never cheated with another man until I found out they did. So being the new melliniums I learned to let them be and have their fun. Eventually like all relationships that cheat or have open relationships come to an end in lies. I’m single now and I could care less if I am or not. My life is full and happy and I get what I need when I need it. Most gays need to depend on someone. So not my style. Believe me I’ve been to fire island and Palm Springs and other places that are gay and they know as well as I do that they engage in so much sex it’s beyond comprehension. For goodness sake just look at the amount of porn. So don’t even try to convince the public that they are happier married. I would be ok to if I could screw everyone and know I can come home to someone who is gonna take care of me. Oh wait they are called daddies. Least not forget the Atlantis Cruises. A total F–k feast. I’m gay not anit gay but against all those that stand for selfishness damage to others. And last but least NO I DONT HAVE ISSUES, I’m not Angry. I’m a realist and see society for what they really are!!!! Peace!!!!!
Notright
So ironic! I just finished an article about how being married and out is better for gay men’s health! https://gayinternationaldating.com/better-gay-men-married-study-shows/
Pete
William Blake said “to have the same law for the lion and the ox is oppression” and I continue to have reservations about the whole concept of ‘gay marriage’, which seems like an insidious attempt to impose on gays the kind of apple-pie white-picket-fence conformity that would have Harvey Milk rolling his eyes and saying “oy vey!”
The late Gore Vidal was correct (as usual). The fight shouldn’t have been for ‘gay marriage’ but against the legal standing of marriage itself, which is a religious right to which our secular state inappropriately affords binding-contract status. The legal agreement between all couples, gay, straight, whatever, should be Domestic Partnership, which is how it is in much of Europe (church marriages mean squat!)
Think of this way: while you may get married by minister, priest, iman, rabbi, etc. if you get divorced it’s going before a judge!
Pete
‘Rite’ x ‘right’ — ugh!