THANKING THE MONKEY

STUDY: Watching Porn Helps Straight Guys Accept Gay Marriage

frank-30-rockA new study claims that heterosexual men — the group most likely to oppose gay marriage — who watch porn are more likely to…come around to the idea.

Quick! Someone ship over a dozen copies of Titty Titty Gang Bang to the Republican National Committee!

“Our study suggests that the more heterosexual men, especially less educated heterosexual men, watch pornography, the more supportive they become of same-sex marriage,” study author, Indiana University Assistant Professor Paul Wright, told The Washington Examiner.

Well, that’s kind of insulting to dumb straight dudes. Not that they’d know it. But we digress.

Wright and co-author Ashley Randall of the University of Arizona utilized studies funded by the National Science Foundation of some 500 hetero males over the course of six years, comparing their porno consumption with their views on same-sex marriage. Wright and Randall then published their findings in the (actually legitimate) peer-reviewed journal, Communication Research.

“Pornography adopts an individualistic, non-judgmental stance on all kinds of non-traditional sexual behaviors and same-sex marriage attitudes are strongly linked to attitudes about same-sex sex,” Wright said. “If people think individuals should be able to decide for themselves whether to have same-sex sex, they will also think that individuals should be able to decide for themselves whether to get married to a partner of the same-sex.”

The authors suggested that since lesbian porn “is quite popular among males” (understatement of the century), the change seen in the men toward same-sex marriage suggests “a change in males’ attitude regarding male-male marriage.” Hooray for guy-on-guy action!

“Since a portion of individuals’ sexual attitudes come from the media they consume,” Wright added,  “it makes sense that pornography viewers would have more positive attitudes towards same-sex marriage.”

So it seems like all those creepy, hairy-palmed dudes who’ve never seen the light of day or an actual vagina are leading the cause for equality. Come next election cycle, we wouldn’t be surprised if pro-gay marriage ads are simply replaced with lesbian porn and the words: “Who’d wanna make this illegal?”

You’re welcome, Illinois.