animal kingdom

Surprise: The 2 Gay Vultures German Zookeepers Ripped Apart Won’t Mate With The Ladies Forced Upon Them

The saga of Germany’s gay griffon vultures Detlaf and Guido– whom zookeepers split up so Detlaf could be transferred to a Czech zoo to mate with a female — isn’t letting up. Especially since Guido has yet to complete the act with a lady in his new home.

Together since March, Detlaf and Guido built a nest together, groomed each other’s feathers, and eschewed the company of female vultures. But they made a terrible home, insist officials at Allwetter Zoo in Germany, who defended the forced split by saying the birds’ rocky home life (other vultures would supposedly steal parts of their nest) as evidence their same-sex relationship wasn’t meant to be. “They always sat so closely together,” says curator Dirk Wewers. “They defended their nest from the other vultures. A suitable female was missing and in such a case vultures look for companionship from the next best thing, even if it is a male. Detlef looked for a bird of the opposite sex but settled with Guido.”


So how are things faring for Guido now that he’s been yanked away from his partner? Not well. He has yet to hump any female vultures in the Czech zoo. And Detlaf hasn’t taken up the company of the female vulture his Allwetter zookeepers replaced Guido with. (That’s Detlaf and his new female partner, pictured.)

Except none of that is phasing zookeepers, because they’re sure they can change the way these vultures operate: “Detlef is reorienting himself now,” says Wewers, in some sick animal kingdom version of reparative therapy. “There’s still time,” says a zoo spokesman. “It is for the best.”

How long these before these two die of broken hearts? The Gays aren’t waiting: They’ve already staged a protest in front of the German zoo.

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  • Brentinpdx

    Stupid zoo keepers…melding in something you can not control. Why not try some religion on the birds, maybe they need outside entity to help the converting process along that they think the birds need,

  • Michael

    I’d be upset if somebody forced me to leave Germany for Czechoslovakia. Same sex adoption is the answer here.

  • Blake J

    These vultures need to go a reparative therapy group and learn how to pray away the gay.

    When will these bastard learn that religion is a load of bullshit and has nothing to do with nature?

    Some of us are lucky enough to be gay and the rest should just get over it!

  • Rigt

    Just becasue the bird is gay does not mean it cant have sex with a female. You can be gay and still have sex with a female, you may not enjoy it but it can be done. And it does not change the fact that the bird is gay, though these people will probably claim that they changed its orientation when it eventually does.

  • Sceth

    I’m never going to defend any animal’s “welfare,” but it seems as though, just as we do with many other species, artificial insemination would have been the most practical thing to do.

  • Bobby

    How about giving the males an abandoned egg and see if they’ll hatch and raise the young bird?

    Wouldn’t that be better than incubators and human contact?

  • Jack

    Why don’t they just artificially inseminate? That way, they can up the population and the birds can be happy?

  • Michael

    Where is the Pope in all this?

  • ProfessorVP

    Why can’t the male vulture do it the Travolta way… impregnate the female in the dark while thinking of Eddie Cibrian?

  • jason

    I think it’s tyrannical that they’ve segregated the love birds for the purpose of re-orientation and reproduction. This might not affect you or I directly but it really is only a small step from animals to humans in how society treats the concepts of homosexuality.

  • Travis

    Most birds, especially vultures, mate for life. I’ve read stories of vultures killing a mate that’s been caught cheating. They’ll most likely be heart broken for awhile.

  • Vman455

    Dear Queerty bloggers,

    Your accuracy (lack of it, rather) is disappointing. You state in the first paragraph that Detlef was moved to the Czech Republic, but later on in the article mention Guido being transferred. Also, which is it: DetLAF or DetLEF?

    I’ll take this opportunity to remind you of Aristotle’s admonition that “we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

    Seriously, do you have a copy editor on staff?


    P.S. Guido was moved, it’s spelled “Detlef,” and, Commenter 2, Czechoslovakia no longer exists.

  • counterpoll

    Various members of the GLBFBF community [gay, lesbian, bisexual fish, beast, fowl] engage in situational heterosexuality or homosexuality when partners of the desired gender are not available! Guido and DetLef may or may not respond as desired to this human but inhumane maneuver, but it seems injust to interfere with their choice of mates.
    Let those Vultures Choose their Own Partners! Yeesh.

  • Skipp

    Of course the new “gay animals found in zoo” had to be VULTURES. This isn’t nearly as press-friendly as those adorable penguins last year.

  • j

    @Skipp: There’s nothing ignoble about vultures, they’re actually quite beautiful. I also think the fact that they don’t kill to feed is a plus, although they get a lot of bad press for it.

  • Phil

    They’re vultures. Stop anthropomorphizing animals because they are not people and they do not express human emotions. While I do think the zookeepers should just leave the birds well enough alone, because they are wild animals, this is not an LGBT issue.

  • Hilarious

    @Phil: If you believe the ignorance you’ve just typed then you don’t know the first thing about animals.

    FYI: Humans are animals too. Higher brain function doesn’t make us superior, just more self-centered, and totally unaware apparently.

  • adam

    That kind of famous penguin couple ended up pairing with females…

  • Tom

    @Michael: The Pope is a different kind of vulture. He preys on souls and steals gold. Most importantly, unlike vultures, the historical tradition of the office of the Pope is one of killing.

  • the crustybastard

    A vulture couple walked up to the airport ticketing desk. “We’d like to buy two tickets.”

    The desk agent inquired, “will you be checking any bags?”

    “No,” replied the vultures, “just carrion.”

  • Phil

    @Hilarious: Did you just argue that animals do express emotions while conceding that animals lack higher brain function? Well. Good luck with life.

  • thousandfold

    Who knew vultures could be so pretty? They get a bad rap in everything I’ve read about them. Then again, maybe it’s just these griffon vultures that are so beautiful.

  • Bobby

    Anthropomorphism is a word used by people who don’t feel anything for animals and want everyone else to feel the same.

    Until we can measure emotions accurately it’s also a false statement to say animals don’t “feel” like humans. Who knows, they might feel more.

  • uu

    How, does this spokesman figure, is it for the best?

  • EdWoody

    @Vman455: Not only that, but also the word is “fazing,” not “phasing.”

  • libra

    when I first read the article on a German news site I was shoked…we have many gay couples in German zoos and they do not seperate them
    (and here in Germany you can be sure, it has nothing to do with religion)

    I hope if they see that both birdies are not happy(if they are not) they will put them both back together…

    I knew a couple of gay pheasants…you could always see them together and they were wild, they could have find a hen…

    a friend had a couple of gay budgies…sadly after one died the other followed shortly after despite being completely healthy before, broken heart…

    My cat is really more interested in dominant male cats than females….female cats rather annoy him…he prefer to let a male one jump him…

  • Hilarious

    @Phil: You’re a ridiculously uneducated idiot.

    You don’t even know what higher brain function means in the context of this discussion.

    We are smarter than most known animals on the planet, that’s a given, hence higher brain function. Did I lose you yet? Probably.

    That however has no bearing on EMOTIONS. All living animals on the planet have many varied emotions. The fact that you do not know that proves how idiotic you really are.

    The complexity of those emotions can depend on brain function, but most do not.

    We are all capable of feeling sad, angry, happy, aroused, and caring. That’s all animals, all animals have proven that much. You need to go to preschool if you do not know a dog for instance is capable of loving someone other than itself.

    Vultures are highly intelligent, yet in your uneducated ignorance you’re literally comparing them to say a rat.

    You’ve decided any animal that isn’t human is on the same level. That means you fell asleep in school.

    If you think a rat, a rabbit, a dog, and a gorilla are all on working with the same level of brain function you are quite literally retarded. In fact I’m certain your brain function is lower than a few animals on the list.

    Time to put a diaper on you, stick you in a cage, and give you a banana. You’ve just failed at being human. Back to chimp for you. “Eee eee ooh ooh.” in your native tongue.

    FYI almost all animals are capable of communicating with their own species and quite a few animals form long lasting relationships. Ask your Kindergarten teacher to teach you all about animals when your Mommy thinks you’re ready to move past the tit and onto the real world.

  • Hilarious

    @Bobby: Thank you. It’s already proven most animals all have basic emotions and some are capable of much more complex emotions(and not just gorillas, everyone’s go to animal).

    Phil just has no education.

  • DDPL

    @Skipp: Yes, gawd forbid that we should have any ugly animals representing the Gay culture. I mean, isn’t it bad enough we have bears…<– [email protected]<ka$$

  • caffesilvia

    I actually thought this was a joke, until I read the comments. They’re birds. They’re not gay in any sense that means anything in the context of human sexual orientation. They just got a wire crossed somewhere. They’ll mate with opposite sex birds, and they’ll do it of their own “will,” or at least programming…

  • Evan

    @caffesilvia: What makes you think that vulture sexual orientation is so different from human sexual orientation? I don’t know one way or another, never having been a vulture or an ornithologist, but I don’t see any basis for asserting that the two phenomena are qualitatively different in origin, given that we don’t know exactly what causes either one.

  • libra

    @caffesilvia: I can tell you my cat is really gay

    when the foster cat took him, incl. neck bite, he was just purring happily…but females…he ignore or hiss at, but a dominant male and he purr

    there are gay animals, from delfins over penguins to whatever…

    for me the best proof that homosexuality is really all natural

  • Phil

    @Hilarious: Looks like somebody had to resort to name calling because they lack evidence to support their stance.

    1. Without understanding human emotions fully, which is a complex and composed of psychological, social and neural stimuli, it’s foolish to attribute human emotions to decidedly nonhuman things. That’s the reason why anthropomorphization of animals is discouraged.

    2. Bobby, you realize that you can anthropomorphize anything nonhuman, right? The word means to attribute human characteristics to anything nonhuman.

    3. @libra: Oh my god it’s people like you that confuse people like Hilarious. Complex social behavior != emotions.

  • declanto

    Is this my entertainment for the evening? Discussing homosexual vultures? Excluding animal behaviorists and ornithologists, only gay people could be so vigorously verbally vulturally “hilariously” fixated. I so love being gay!

  • auditorman

    I can’t believe my eyes, gay vultures. Zoo keepers worried. Ugg !! They need to get a job in McDonalds for a week so they can see what real work is.

  • Greg

    @the crustybastard: Thanks for the laugh, Crusty!

  • Taylor

    I volunteer at a wildlife rescue, and based on my experiences working with animals, I have to say that animals DO have emotions. Sure, it varies from animal to animal and species to species, but they all show fear and excitement, and the more intelligent animals like crows and vultures also show happiness, sadness, and even affection. I won’t presume to say what they feel is the same as what humans feel, but basic emotions are there.

    And for the vulture detractors… vultures are awesome! My favorite animals to work with are turkey vultures — they’re not only intelligent, but usually friendly too (if they don’t like a person, they’ll just keep their distance). And they’re SO beautiful when they’re flying.

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