The "Science" Of Gay Sex

SURVEY: Twinks, Cubs And Bulls Most Likely To Be Total Bottoms

Are you a Top Twink? A Muscle Pup? Maybe an Otter? A Bull Bottom? Or a Wolf?

The folks at Noodles and Beef recently posted a survey allowing gay men to self-report their stats (age, weight, hairiness, etc.) and find out exactly what gay clique they belong to.

You can also view the physical features of the average person in each clique. For instance, according to the decidedly unscientific survey, the typical Otter is 27 years old, weighs 160.3 pounds, and is “extremely hairy.” In contrast, the typical Gym Bunny is 28 years old, weighs 163.8 pounds, and is “totally smooth.”

In addition, you can see attraction by cliques: 83% of Muscle Bears are into other Muscle Bears. 18% of Twinks are into Cubs. And 45% of Gym Bunnies are into Gym Rats.

You can also see the distribution of tops and bottoms within each clique. It should come as no surprise that Daddies are statistically more likely to be tops than any other clique. Twinks lived up to their stereotype by identifying overwhelmingly as bottoms, making them perfect matches for Daddies. But bottom Twinks, don’t get your hopes up about Bulls: no matter how big and aggressive they may appear, they are one of the cliques most likely to be bottoms.

Take the survey to find out which clique you fit into, as well as how you hold up in comparison to others. You may be surprised at the results.