Egyptian revenge

Tabloid Report: Anderson Cooper Is Target Of Islamic Militants’ Jihad!!*&@%%^*#!!

Anderson Cooper has more to worry about than a couple of Mubarak sympathizers hitting him in the head. He’s been marked for murder by Islamic jihadists! And no, that’s not a reference to some new breed of downtown club kids.

IN A NATIONAL ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE (insert flashing red banner here), we learn “Anderson is freaked out – and so are his family and friends,” according to a “close” source. You see, “Islamic militants would like to make an example of Anderson,” the source says, which is why “Muslim extremists, jihadists and Egyptian goon squads” want him dead.

And fleeing the scene may not be enough. The goon squads might be coming to America. Or they’re already here! Turn on your firehouse alarm, Anderson.