'tis the season

Take Christ out of Christmas and turn it gay with these queer yuletide decorations

Blaze host Elijah Schaffer got himself all worked up recently over a display of nutcrackers at a Target store, taking issue with the fabulousness of one of the offerings in particular: a nutcracker with a rainbow outfit holding a Pride flag.

“They took Christ out of Christmas and turned it gay,” he cried out to the desperate wilderness of conservative Twitter. 

Now just wait until Schaffer finds out Tchaikovsky, who provided the famous score for The Nutcracker, was gay.

Honestly, there’s nothing gayer than having strong opinions about holiday decorations. And since Christmas is, was, and always will be gay as hell, here are some wonderfully queer and beautifully tacky decorations to add to your home…

Queer nutcrackers

They’re hard to come by, because the gay Christmas agenda is winning, obviously, so if you can get your hands on one of Target’s queer nutcrackers, consider yourself fortunate. 

Gay agenda ornament 

Speaking of the gay Christmas agenda, if we’re going to keep triggering the cishets like Elijah we are going to have to stay on our game. A gay agenda ornament will keep you focused during the hectic holiday season and into the new year, reminding you to get back to it at 100 percent in 2022. 

Putting it all behind us ornament

2021 was yet another rough year, with its false promises of a concluding pandemic that continues to stretch on with each new variant, and the continuation of the new shitty normal. But this ornament takes on an uplifting spirit we could all use this time of year, looking brightly ahead, while giving us quite a nice view from behind. 

Eggplant and peach ornaments 

Something for the top and the bottom on your Christmas list. But what if they’re vers? Simple! Get one of each.

Pride wreath

A festive Christmas wreath made entirely out of rainbow balls. Need we say more?

Santa riding a unicorn ornament

Supply lines are all sorts of messed up this year, so even Santa is having to improvise. Luckily, when his reindeer are all tapped out he can always turn to his unicorn, and from the look on his face here he’s starting to prefer that means of transportation.

Santa waving rainbow flag ornament

Keeping with the Santa having a gay ol’ time theme, you can also get your hands on this ornament with Saint Nick proudly waving the rainbow flag. Isn’t he cute? 

Rainbow Christmas tree

And finally… We need some place worthy to hang all these queer ornaments. What better than an artificial rainbow Christmas tree