Star power

Tarotscopes that slay: Get your astrology read for filth (Oct. 8-Nov. 7 cycle)

You’re wondering WTF is a Tarotscope. I got you, henny. It’s like a horoscope, but instead of tuning into just your Astrology (ie. the planets’ influence on your life), I pull a Tarot card for each sign and through that lens we see what your moonth has in store. I say moonth because where do you think the word MONTH originated? Yeah, from the moon herself. Did I just blow your mind?

Think about it, our Gregorian calendar is totally arbitrary and an outdated holdover courtesy of the patriarchy, okur? Which is why I’ll be releasing these Tarotscopes in concert with the New Moon– so that we can start to become aware of what a natural cycle feels like.

Maybe you’re also wondering what the hell a New Moon is but you don’t want to seem basic; again, I got you. A New Moon, which happens thirteen times throughout the course of a year, is when the moon is wholly invisible to us. This happens because the Moon situates itself between the Sun and the Earth, her illuminated side facing away from us.

New Moons invite us to start over so that we can start better. Think of it as a mini New Year’s Eve that happens every moonth. It’s a great time to make resolutions, start up projects or simply forgive yourself and start over so fresh and so clean.


If we’re gonna talk about Libra, we’ve got to talk about Venus. Because Venus is the ruling planet of Libra. Where else you do think Libras get their insatiable hunger for beauty, art, fashion, relationship, luxury and poetry? They get it from the goddess of love herself. And Venus is a particularly active player in this new moon because she just went retrograde (like three days ago) and is spending longer in Scorpio than perhaps she’d like.

When Venus is in Scorpio her passions have a sting and she’s more feisty than ethereal. This gives Monday’s new moon in Libra a burst of sparkling darkness, an edge that Libras don’t usually lean into. Consider Venus as the mother of the divine feminine. Not women, but all of our collective Yin (or Lunar) energy. Her retracing into early Scorpio invites us to reclaim the parts of our softness, sensitivity and creativity that society would rather keep hidden. Ask yourself: What parts of my feminine brilliance have I repressed? And how can I begin to form a relationship with them? This is the time to honor the sacred feminine within yourself and outside of yourself. Now, more than ever. Queer people have always been the sacred bridge between feminine and masculine polarities. We must not forget that. We are the gatekeepers to the mystical and magical and we must continue to balance within ourselves or else lose this precious gift.

With this new moon in Libra we have an opportunity to tend to our relationship with our own duality. Libra is the sign that speaks to how we partner with others, but also with ourselves. And this new moon is a portal through which we can marry the mother and the father within ourselves, if we are ever to be whole. It is my belief that until men can accept, love and honor the divine feminine in themselves, they will continue to dishonor and reject the feminine outside of themselves. And until women can fully embrace their own sacred masculine energy, they will continue to allow toxic masculinity to run amok– as we’ve been witness to so brutally these past few weeks. Here’s the deal though: It always starts from within. This world is a perfect mirror and nothing more. So our work is to keep turning inwards, getting right with ourselves. When we are in balance, the outer world will begin to stabilize as well.

Libra is also the sign of justice, and with Venus in morning-star warrior mode, we must all begin to relate to ourselves as fierce arbiters of justice. I’m not talking about legal justice. I’m talking about cosmic justice. I’m talking about karma, cause and effect, natural law, for every action there is an equal and opposite action. Because we have been victimized by this upside down culture and backwards society, we know first-hand how to fix it. And we cannot stay silent or hold back any longer.

Our anger, despair, shame and pain are waiting to be transformed into the fuel that will ignite the air around us. By stepping into our power we can begin to fight for the better, aligned, justice-filled world we know is possible. But as always, we must listen as much as we talk, we must be as patient as we are striving. Libra is the perfect medicine for those who know the road ahead is long. And if you haven’t figured it out yet babies, the road is long AF. So partner perfectly with yourself. Reclaim your feminine ferocity from the past and let her start calling the shots for awhile.

The exciting and aggravating thing with Astrology is that there’s always something happening. But I can’t get into all that here because there just isn’t space or time. So my husband and I encourage you to please tune into The Spiritual Gayz, our twice monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality without pretending that it all makes sense. Our aim is to make all this esoteric wisdom as accessible as a Real Housewives reunion because these ancient practices are our birthright and we’ve been disconnected from them for too long! Our last episode featured gay icon Lena Waithe and you really don’t want to miss it. Tune in, subscribe, follow us on Instagram and please rate us 5 stars! How do you find it? Easy! Click HERE!

Also, if you’ve been feeling a call to learn more about the Tarot herself, you’re in luck. Just in time for Scorpio season, I’m calling all my queer witches to join me for a three week seminar in Los Angeles called TAROT + VINO (starting on October 18th). These three classes will give you everything you need to begin to connect with your intuition and confidently read cards for yourself and others. It’s taking place at Spoonfed Kitchen and Bakeshop in Hollywood. Every class will come with wine pairings and snacks and each student will receive their own copy of the Wild Unknown Tarot deck. Find more information about the class here.


Three of Swords and Ace of Swords

You might be wondering why there are two cards for the collective this moonth instead of the usual one. Well here’s what happened: After I pulled the first card I could feel that we weren’t quite done. The deck was practically screaming at me that we all needed one more. Maybe it’s because Libra is the sign of the scales, we needed another card to balance against the weight of the first. These two cards are perfect partners. The Three of Swords invites us into our hearts and the Ace of Swords ask us to write a new story for our lives.

In the Tarot, swords rule the realm of the mind. They speak to our mental gymnastics and long entrenched patterns of behavior. Pulling the Ace of Swords indicates the time is right to begin a new way of relating to yourself through your mind. Each and every one of us gets to write the story of our lives, so why are we choosing to live out a tragedy instead of a comedy or a heroic adventure tale? By diving into our hearts we can begin to encourage the true story of our life to emerge.

At its essence that’s what the three of Swords is about. Old school readers talk about this card as an indicator of betrayal. And I don’t disagree. I just think the betrayal is coming from inside the house. It’s not being done to you– you’re doing it to yourself, gurl! Each time we ignore our hearts we betray ourselves. And I know it’s not always easy to do what the heart says. I know that most of the time what the heart wants seems crazy. But that’s because our minds cannot understand the complex and wondrous logic of the heart. Instead of trying to comprehend why the heart is asking for this thing or that action, perhaps we could just trust it and move forward with faith. I believe that our hearts know why we are here, in this world, at this time. And if we could listen to our hearts, listen through our hearts and act from our hearts, perhaps we would begin to manifest our true purpose a whole lot quicker than whatever backroad the mind has us navigating.

I pulled the Three of Swords first. Alone, this card would show that we all need to listen to the deepest parts of ourselves for guidance. But with the Ace coming right after it, the message shifts slightly. Listening to our hearts becomes our new normal. This is the path from here on out. Remember, it is the head which serves the heart, not the other way around. And if you can remember that, the new story of your life will write itself.

Below are personalized Tarotscopes for each sign.

Read for your sun sign, and if you know your rising sign you can read that too.


Eight of Swords

Eights are expansion cards, but into unknown realms. The Eight of Swords is inviting you to expand your mind beyond your perceptions of what is possible. Looking at this card, we see a young boy, despondent, trapped in a prison of his own making. Clearly he could just walk out around the swords and be free. Yet he remains where he is. He is choosing to stay stuck. Does this sound familiar? You see, our perceived limitations are not real. They are just agreements we have made with ourselves. This card wants you to make some new agreements.

It’s a new year for you gorgeous Libra, so let’s stop with the old stories, okur? The story that you’re too busy to take care of yourself, is bullshit. The story that nobody understands you or will be able to love you, is also totally bullshit. But as long as you keep subscribing to these newsletters, that’s what’s going to show up in the mail.

This could be a profoundly significant turning point for you. I feel the potential around you like an electrical charge. But you have to be the one to identify the walls you’ve built around yourself. And you have to be the one to tear them down. I have every confidence in the world that you will find the tools needed to dismantle your self-imposed limitations. And I know you will seek them out and destroy them in the same way you do everything else, with tenderness, care and tremendous beauty.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


The Lovers

This is an acutely mystical moon for you Scorpio. It’s going to illuminate the depths of your dark waters and your only job is to LOVE what you see. As you begin to see yourself more clearly, you will be able to make better choices about what’s next. You see, the Lovers aren’t really about finding your soul mate. The Lovers card is about making sure you are your own soul mate. And how do we do that? By honoring our uniqueness, the weird, kooky, intense shit that make us wholly original.

The more you can accept yourself, the more empowered you will feel to choose the people, places and pathways that most appeal to your true nature. As long as you continue to hide from your dark genius, you will always end up in the wrong place at the wrong time– wondering where you went wrong. Well I’ll tell you! You went wrong when you stopped following your innate inner interests and passions.

I know you are already well accustomed to excavating your own psyche. But as this moonth continues to find you deep-sea diving into your soul, perhaps the biggest challenge will be resisting your tendency to judge or categorize what you find. Imagine your own inner landscape is a watery wonderland, and even the sharks with giant teeth are allies. Nothing you come across in yourself should be looked at with disdain. Love what you find, accept it wholeheartedly and relish in the power of reclaiming your authenticity.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Two of Pentacles

Are you ready for an outfit change? I think you are. And I think this makeover is going to attract you a whole new group of friends. Because let’s face it, your social circle could use a little upgrade too. I’m not reading your friends for filth, they’re great people, but you’ve been doing a lot of work on yourself recently and maybe the folks you’ve been spending time with don’t entirely match your new up-leveled vibe.

The Two of Pentacles is here to help you find balance through change. Not emotional change, not mental change, not even loose change. You need to reorganize the physical structures of your life. I’m talking about your body and your bank account, your hairstyle and your shoes. In some ways the Two of Pentacles is a gentle Death card– inviting us to release all of the old, outdated clutter that’s keeping us from fully committing to this next version of ourselves. You’re on the brink of a major re-invention and I’m sure it would help if the outside matched the inside.

I’m thinking of a great Coco Chanel quote: A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life. You need to look in the mirror and be reminded that this is a whole new you coming through! So maybe that’s changing up your hair, but maybe it’s a tattoo, a new wardrobe, a new home– anything that will keep you from sliding back into old territory. Change doesn’t happen once, we have to keep tending to it or else it wont stick. So stick to it Sagittarius, and shake up your physical reality. This new moon in Libra will bless you with new beauty, but you have to accept the invitation.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Ace of Pentacles

Let’s get down to business, crafty Capricorn, which I know is exactly what you love to do. The Ace of Pentacles generally suggests a new endeavor and an auspicious one at that. So there’s no time like the present to be your own boss, if you’re not already. Nobody does business better than a Capricorn, so why are you still answering to people that know less than you do. If you’ve been dreaming up a business of your own, consider this your sign to move forwards and incorporate.

What I love about the design of this card is that the Ace is literally a door into a new reality. And that’s the essence of this invitation. You can usher yourself forwards into a whole new chapter of your life. But you have to take responsibility for it. Instead of getting bogged down in the fear of failure, take a risk that you do actually know what you’re doing. Silence the inner critic and allow yourself to be the CEO you always wished you were working for.

The Ace of Pentacles can also indicate a financial windfall, so maybe that raise is right around the corner. Maybe that promotion has just been granted. But if your current work isn’t working for you, why stick around? In your heart, clever Capricorn, you are a master builder. You could craft an empire from gum and grit alone, so please stop giving into negativity and remember what a powerful entrepreneur you are. It’s not just in your blood, it’s in the stars– and now, it’s also in your cards.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


The Chariot

There is no sharper sword than the Aquarian intellect. It’s not just book smart, it’s wordly and eclectic and as innovative as those challenges on Project Runway where they had to make a fierce lewk out of candy wrappers. But the value of an intellect is only if it’s shared. The thing is, if you harbor all your brilliance to yourself, you’re just a greedy bitch. And I know you want to help the whole wide world. So please come down from the clouds, land your spaceship and teach the children. The Chariot is here to invite you into your well deserved expansion through teaching, writing and sharing your gifts.

I’m not saying you need to become a professor at a University. I’m not even saying you have to teach class in the usual way (like an Aquarius would ever do ANYTHING in the usual way). Maybe it’s time to begin writing your book, or even just a monthly column. Maybe you could even gather some friends together and teach them. You will always be learning but now, right now, as you are, you are ready to be teaching– in whatever way makes sense to you intuitively. Take a moment, sit down, get quiet and answer this question: What are you an expert in? That’s where your abundance is.

Now listen, the Chariot is not just a fancy car, it’s the vehicle for your soul– that which carries you through your life. And in the same way we have to keep filling up our gas tank on a long a road trip, you have to to continue to pour into yourself to stay energized. What I mean to say is, while the teaching may come easily, the structure around it may take some will, some effort and some work before it all comes to fruition. But remember, you’re a cosmic being here to fix a broken planet, so the effort required will be well worth it in the end. Now get to it! We’re counting on you.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


The Sun

Let there be light, sweet Pisces! For a sign that spends so much time adrift in mystery, this moonth promises to illuminate some of the murkier depths that are practically your home. I know that sometimes you’re not sure which way is up and, frankly, that’s part of your magic. But these next few weeks should gift you some much needed clarity, especially in the realms of your sexual relationships and personal finances.

This is not the time to look away. The Cosmos are working hard to bring you the answers you’ve been asking for, to reject them would be ungrateful. Trust that the things you are now seeing clearly are wanting you to see them. Don’t second guess yourself, stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things are good right now. Appreciate them.

At its essence, the Sun signifies a return to joy. It invites us into simple pleasures and allows us to relish in all the pure delights of being alive. I’d encourage you to think of this card as a gateway to your crown chakra. How can you playfully reconnect to your own divinity in a major way. How can you do this every day? That’s where this is all leading. When you have this direct outlet to Spirit, you’ll be able to source clarity anytime your senses overwhelm you. Pulling the Sun doesn’t mean that there won’t be any challenges up ahead, but with Sun energy radiating through your being count on more opportunities for fun, laughter and above all light!

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Four of Swords (Reversed)

Here’s what the Four of Swords means for you, spicy Aries. It means you gotta slow down. You need to look backwards before you can continue to charge ahead. When this card shows up, it means we are out of the woods, the trauma has passed– but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t meditate on it in order to mine the beautiful gifts from the ugly experience. This Libra new moon is a great opportunity for you to reflect on your past significant relationships, romantic and otherwise. See if there’s any sort of pattern, especially around where you continue to get tripped up and let down?

I made a deal with myself long ago, it goes something like this: So long as I keep making new mistakes, I don’t give myself a hard time, but if I keep making the same mistakes I need to put myself in time-out and think about what I’ve done. In the gentlest way possible, this card is a time-out. Not in a punishing or punitive way. More like an intermission between acts. What happened, who were the major players, what themes do you see emerging? Take the opportunity to look back on your love life, your friendships, your significant teachers or students, bosses or employees. Look back and perhaps some new clarity will emerge. Often when we are in the midst of crisis, passion or intensity, we can’t make out the forest for the trees.

What we resist, persists. Until you learn what the Universe wants you learn from relationships, you will keep attracting the same assholes in different costumes. For example, if you haven’t healed your Daddy issues, you’ll attract him in your bosses and boyfriends. And I can feel your resistance to taking this meaningful and meditative pause, that’s why the card came in upside down. But I promise you that by taking this moonth to look towards the past, you’re going to rewrite your future!

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Seven of Cups (reversed)

The Seven of Cups is an exciting card that signifies a time ripe with opportunity. In fact, you might be struggling with the best problem there is: too much of a good thing. But it’s important not to say yes to every job offer or social event that comes your way. If you spread yourself too thin, you will lose your sparkling essence. You ever heard the expression: A friend to everyone is a friend to no one? Well that is true with projects as well as relationships.

So, how to choose? Think about what you really want to be doing every day. How do you want your hours to be filled? If in your heart you don’t want to be shepherding someone else’s vision, then say no. If you’re sick of an office job, get out! Even if the money is insanely compelling. Especially if the money is insanely compelling– don’t let yourself get trapped.

This card came in upside down, which has me intuiting that you maybe you don’t need to make any decisions right away. Maybe you need to play around with your daily routine and experiment with what feels right. I know you have a tendency to get set in your ways but that can lead to utter stagnation. Unfortunately, because we are always changing, what has worked in the past won’t always work in the future. Don’t resist shaking things up. Because when you get your energy moving in new ways, you’ll start to see your life from different vantage points, and then the decisions will gracefully make themselves. Remember, sometimes NOT making a decision is making a decision. You’re the master of your own destiny, strong Taurus, so don’t feel the need to play by someone else’s rules or someone else’s arbitrary timeline.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Four of Cups (reversed)

The Four of Cups is a curious card, it’s meaning continues to evolve for me. If I were to summarize it glibly I would say: It’s when your bag is overweight at the airport and you have to pay for it. Meaning that we have overdone it in some way and have to suffer the consequences. A pithier view of this card speaks to our tendency to indulge in too much of a good thing. This overdoing aspect results in that good thing losing its luster, so we have to withdraw completely to get back to our baseline. We have to find the deeper satisfaction that only our inner selves can provide.

With the card reversed, it can indicate that we are struggling a bit to give up our addictions or vices. Is that glass of wine necessary every night? Can we save the joints for just the weekends? And I’m not just talking substances. How about all the drama, and the gossip and the can-you-believe-what-she-said? Fours in the Tarot are about foundation. And Cups rule the things in our life that flow, mainly relationships, emotions and intuitive capabilities. So the real medicine of this card is an invitation to get back your emotional foundation. The truth is: You don’t need anything else to feel good. All you really need is you. At first that feels terrifying, but only for a few days. Pretty soon you’ll realize how empowered you feel being clear and in control of yourself. Even though our society doesn’t particularly reward sobriety or emotional maturity, that doesn’t mean you can’t attain it and flaunt it.

I really think this next moonth could be an incredibly creative one if you can open the space for it. Instead of numbing yourself out at the end of the day, heal the deeper upsets by relating to yourself creatively. Nobody needs to know about it, but maybe this is the time to dive back into your poetry or song writing, take a pottery class or a stand up comedy class– do something selfish for yourself that will re-connect you to our own unique imagination. I have a feeling once you turn on the faucet you’ll be in for a tidal wave of creative windfalls.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Ten of Pentacles

Abundance is yours, baby! Now, I’m not saying you’re about to be Oprah’s neighbor, but I’m not saying you’re not about to be. The fact is this next cycle will be bringing you some serious prosperity. Tens in the Tarot are cards that indicate a major completion, a graduation of sorts. And Pentacles rule over our physical reality, our bodies, our bank accounts, our homes and our careers. So you can understand why the Ten of Pentacles is the card everyone wants to see. It means financial success or gain, it indicates projects currently engaged in will be rewarded, handsomely.

Sometimes abundance doesn’t visit us because we already have it. Perhaps you will be realizing over the course of this next moonth how lucky you already are. Especially when it comes to the things that really matter to you, your home and family life, I think things are going to be feeling pretty sweet.

I also call this card the gratitude card. I have found, from experience, that what I pay attention to grows. When I focus on the things in my life I’m grateful for, I end up with more things to be grateful for. When I tend to obsess over what is going wrong in my life, more problems seem to arise. This card would suggest you are already in a state of tremendous gratitude and I only want to encourage what’s already growing in you and around you. More is on the way but remember that THANK YOU is a magic word. Whether it’s said to your partner, to the sky or to the earth herself, the more you can appreciate what you have, the more abundant your life will become.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


Eight of Pentacles

This is a time of tremendous growth for you, Leo. You’ve earned it, you’ve been working hard for it and please, for the love of the goddess, don’t stop now. The efforts you’ve tended over these past few months are blooming beautifully and the more you continue to nurture these projects the bigger they will get. Which is to say, the work continues but so long as it’s heart-work it shouldn’t get you down.

The woman in this card is absorbed by the process of watering her garden. Her attention to them is literally what allows them to shine. She isn’t looking around, wondering what other people think of her flowers– she is fully engaged in the act itself. As you evolve your own garden this moonth, whether it be your career, your business or your bank account, make sure you don’t abandon the craft and skill that brought you here.

It can be so easy to quit right before the finish line. We can mistake the first bloom for the bounty to come. Don’t get self-satisfied. Instead, double down on your dedication and this dream will be out of the birth canal before you know it. Use the energy of this new moon to make sure you are communicating clearly to yourself and others about the true nature of this business. Keep telling yourself the story of this dream. What had initially planned for it to achieve in this world? The WHY is just as important as the HOW. And since this next cycle is going to find you busy AF, it’s important to keep telling yourself WHY exactly you are working so in the first place.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***


The Star (reversed)

Healing has its own agenda. I continue to learn this many times over, both as a healer and someone who receives many healings. When people come to me for Reiki or Breathwork or general energetic realignment, my main task it to reconnect them with their own reservoir of curative power– because what I might assume they need isn’t ever as accurate as what Spirit can deliver. The Star is literally the realm of cosmic healing. This moonth can be a tremendously potent time for you to bring sweet nectar to the wounds of your past. But that doesn’t mean it will be easy or without pain.

There is no completion to our journey. Healing happens in layers. It isn’t always linear. Sometimes you only get to heal one corner of your trauma at a time. You don’t get to call the shots. All you get to do is watch the process unfold. But the good news is that you are already in the river of your own resurrection. Can you allow it happen to you? Can you set aside some time to continue to care for yourself in a deeper way? The appearance of this card upside down would indicate that you are resisting all the essential self-care that your continued healing is calling for. Please try to underschedule yourself this next moonth. More time in nature, more time on your own, more time in the bath would serve you so well.

The Star combines the two female archetypes of the High Priestess and The Empress. It merges your deep inner knowing with you sensuous maternal passion. Consider that this next cycle is delivering you to a wonderland of starlight, a cosmic playground where all things luminesce. Your task is to view your life, your heart and your wounds through the healing rays of the stars. Let yourself leave this mundane reality, that you know so well, for a new experience of infinity. How you get there is up to you. But make sure you give yourself enough time to fully arrive there and ensure there’s enough time for your complete return.

***Schedule your own reading or healing with Brandon here and follow him on Instagram @thebrandonalter and on Twitter @thebrandonalter.***

BRANDON ALTER is a queer healer, Tarot reader, teacher and writer living in Los Angeles. He is passionate about sharing spiritual tools that have helped him reconnect to the wisdom of his heart. He co-hosts The Spiritual Gayz with his husband, a twice monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality, without pretending that it all makes sense. Brandon’s mom took him to his very first psychic when he was seven and gave him his first Tarot deck when he was eleven. Since then he has devoted himself to the study of Tarot, Yoga, Pilates, Reiki, Astrology and Shamanic Skills.

Visit to learn more. And to sign up for his twice-monthly newsletter, click here.