cartoon logic

Ted Cruz says Mickey Mouse and Pluto are having tons of gay sex and we’re all a little dumber now

Remember when, during his failed bid for the presidency, Ted Cruz tried to sell himself as a normal, relatable human by whipping out his godawful Simpsons impressions? Well, the bloviating Texas Senator is at again, trying to ruin more cartoons for you.

As shared by The Recount, Cruz used a recent live taping of his podcast, Verdict With Ted Cruz, to whine about Disney’s (too little, too late) condemnation of Florida’s dangerous “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

After a few lapses in logic, the anti-LGBTQ senator brainlessly asserted that Disney wants to have “Mickey and Pluto going at it” in “every episode.” Every episode of what? What is this man even talking about?

Even with the full context of the clip, his argument is bunk, but you can hear the nonsense for yourself below:

When his co-host Michael Knowles jokes, “Thank you for that image, Senator,” one has to wonder just how long the thought of Mickey and Pluto boning has been rattling around in Cruz’s head to begin with.

And is it even worth it to get into that fact that, in the world of these characters, Mickey is a talking, anthropomorphized mouse, while Pluto is his pet dog? What Cruz is talking about here in animated bestiality.

We digress.

As he rambles on, the shoddy pundit offers up Cinemax as a solution for anyone who wants to see that sort of thing and resorts to the same treacly, “golden days” bullsh*t as so many MAGA touters: “You used to be able to put your kids on the Disney Channel and be like, ‘Alright, something innocuous will happen.'”

Cruz offers up an extreme hypothetical—one he pulls out of thin air—then treats it as an inevitability, railing against something he just made up himself. This is right-wing fear-mongering 101.

And while it’s nice to have a laugh about Cruz evoking cartoon sex for some dumb argument, let’s not forget the insidious agenda at work here. He can write this off as a joke, or some lame attempt at parody, but this is no comedian (or impressionist).  This is a politician pointedly attempting to stoke the flames of homophobia once again.

Here’s what Twitter has to say about it…