Ted Haggard Declares: I’m Cured of Homosexuality! Wife Gayle Declares: Ted Is a Hypocrite!

When Ted Haggard tweeted this week that his wife Gayle would be stopping by the Today show, to pimp her new book and their HBO documentary, we were thrilled that we’d be hearing tidbits from the wife’s side of this should-have-been-wrecked marriage. And then we learned the pair would be popping in on Oprah for another round of transparency? Butterflies!

Gayle had previous reasons to suspect Ted, then the pastor of New Life, was hitting it with men, she tells Meredith Vieira. Namely, because Ted told her about past indiscretions. But we learn Gayle is as addicted to accepting her husband’s apologies as he is addicted to sex with men.

Well, that was until the twosome started going to therapy three years ago — which cured Ted of The Gay. “I have not had one compulsive thought or behavior. … Not at all [do I feel homosexual leanings].” Of course, we’re not buying any of this. Maybe Ted is just, simply, bisexual. But ya know what? We’re sort of over it. If Ted and Gayle are happy together in their denial of what any trained shrink would tell you is all but impossible, bless them. And bless Gayle for, once again, willing herself to believe that “sexuality is conditioned.”

And here’s to their amazing sex life.

(Please stay tuned to the 8:00 minute mark, where Gayle acknowledges, waywardly, that her Bible-thumping husband is a hypocrite.)

MORE: Clips from Oprah via Young Turks:

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  • terrwill

    Queerty writes:

    “Of course, we’re not buying any of this. Maybe Ted is just, simply, bisexual.”

    TerrWill writes:

    “Of course, I’m not buying any of this. Maybe Ted is just, simply, broke.”

  • dk

    I’m not buying it. I watched Oprah and still don’t understand why she stayed. She can still love and support him even if they aren’t married. She deserves better. She deserves more. That seed of doubt will always be in her mind and that’s no way to live.

  • Comeoutwhereveryouare

    When will gay men come out proudly and stop hating themselves? These people ashame me, both gay and straight. They’re horrid.

  • Cam

    No now instead of being a liar and a drug addict, he’s merely a liar.

  • anonymous

    Would it do any good to tell this guy he is 20 years late with this b/s? Jim Baker beat him to it 20 years ago.

  • terrwill

    @Cam: I can virtually 100% guarantee you that he is still mething aroung……….

  • Desdemona

    the only reason his sexuality is ‘complex’ is because he’s unable to admit or accept he likes cock.

  • AlanInSLCutah

    @ No. 6 · terrwill:

    How can you guarantee this?

  • BootsieGee

    Queerty – Please – in the name of all that good in the world -PLEASE get rid of that annoying pop-up ad with straight people telling us about their fabulous vacation. I understand ad space and have clicked through your advertisers more than once but this add is not only loud it is obnoxious.

  • schlukitz

    Ted said, “I had a wonderful life; a wonderful family and I grew up in the country in Indiana.”

    There’s his problem, right there. Too many ears of corn around him to tempt him.

  • B

    No. 10 · schlukitz: “Ted said, ‘I had a wonderful life; a wonderful family and I grew up in the country in Indiana.’ There’s his problem, right there. Too many ears of corn around him to tempt him.”

    …. not really a problem. If he “backslides” he gets some more publicity and another round on the talk-show circuit about being “cured”, plus the “reparative therapy” guys get to say, “it works but you need periodic follow-up visits to make sure you don’t revert to your previous ways. Then they can claim to be professionals – the professionals are the ones who make sure you schedule another appointment.

  • terrwill

    @AlanInSLCutah: ‘Cause if you lie thru your teeth like this:

    “I have not had one compulsive thought or behavior. … Not at all”

    You’re also gonna lie about possibly the most addictive drug in history………..

  • schlukitz

    If he “backslides”

    Great play on words, B. lol

    What you say is so true. These “reparative therapy” quacks really have a racket going for them.

    They are merely creating a string of lifetime suckers to pay for their mansion mortgages and Rolls Royce/Bentley/Mercedes Benz car payments.

  • Lukas P.

    As a “trained shrink” I’m going to reveal a HUGE secret: The only “proven cure” for homosexuality is death.

    Rumor has it that death works to resolve heterosexuality also, but I have not tested this theory yet. We’re still trying to enroll subjects into our research study on whether watching “The View” or “Jersey Shore” suppresses or increases compulsive thoughts about homosexuality, so give us some time. Thank you.

  • hyhybt

    @anonymous: Wait, Jim Baker was gay?

    I’m surprised Oprah invited her on.

  • terrwill

    @Lukas P.: Your discovery of the “cure” is brilliant Dr. Lukas. Howeva watch that shrinkage……… : P

    >>>>> And I don’t think it will be too long before Vinnie from Jersey Shore’s case of hetrosexuality will be cured…….. jus’ sayin………

  • Lukas P.

    @terrwill: Good one! I am a big fan of yours, and will confess that I like the Jersey Shore shoe, too. Love “the Situation” bigtime.

    Research that proved watching the old “Dinah Shore” show was a leading cause of lesbianism and homosexuality was the benchmark for all studies I conduct. I have my academic standards after all!

  • schlukitz

    @ Lukan P:

    The only “proven cure” for homosexuality is death.

    That’s a great sequel to the old adage “Death is nature’s way of telling us to slow down.” ;P

  • christopher di spirito

    The mainstream media, including Big Mama O, would book any freak on the planet, if they thought the end game meant more ratings.

    The Haggards are about as freaky as it gets.

  • terrwill

    @Lukas P.: TYVM!

  • Jake the libertarian

    I’ll be pretty unpopular for saying this, but I have always had a little sympathy for Ted Haggard. This is a man who is LOST in himself. He is not the first married man who genuinely loved his family, but was also gay. I consider myself lucky that I accepted myself before it got to that point.

    What is infuriating about him is his history of homophobia and his position in a very homophobic church, however he was never as bad as Falwell or Robertson or many of the other evangelicals. He spoke out against homosexuality, and he needs to be called on that, and he has been called on that. But the fact is that this man is suffering. He has been suffering his whole life. He loves his family. Everything else has been taken away from him and now… he is left with the frightening concept of losing them too.

    I see a man desperately holding on to the one good thing he has left in his life. If he loses them… in his mind, he will be left with nothing but anonymous sex and drugs. It has never dawned on him that he could find a man to be in love with and still live a healthy life. I really feel for the guy. Sue me.

  • schlukitz

    No. 21 · Jake the libertarian

    Somehow, I don’t think you will be unpopular for saying what you did.

    What you are saying is the truth and it accurately reflects the feelings and viewpoints of most of the posters on these threads, including myself.

    You are a better person than I for saying that you feel sorry for the guy. Had he not said all of the horrible things he accused homosexuals of while he was still in the bully pulpit, I might feel a tad more inclined to do so myself.

  • anonymous

    I suspect he is going to launch a new “ex-gay” movement. Whatever happened to the queen who ran around claiming the same shit only to be caught in a bar in Dupont circle with drink and all? Does anyone know where he is now?

  • terrwill

    @Jake the libertarian: Sorry Jake I can’t give Teddy Haggard a pass. He said lots of vile, dispicable, hateful things about the Gays all the while he was worshiping at the alter of crystal meth and paying an escort to plow his so very holy ass. His weekly rants against Gay teens were linked to several Gay teens committing suicide. I have seen videos of him degrading Gays and urging others to do so. Words from a person in his position were lethal weapons against the Gay community …..

    And now he is going to play the phony “ex-Gay” card. And further damage the Gay community by claiming being Gay is simply a matter of doing too many drugs. For too long the Gays have let people poo all over us and kissed the very butts where the poo spewed from. Look at the Gay effort to reach out to Buju Banton, he couldn’t get out of that meeting fast enough and was on carribean radio the next day spewing the same vile hatred against the Gays……….

    And Jake, you hit the nail right on the head with this line:
    “Everything else has been taken away from him and now…” Yes, everything: The mansion they lived in, the luxury cars, the fine clothes, the trips on private jets all over the world, the unlimited cash to spend on sexual exploits and rampart drug usage. That my friend is what is motivating Ted Haggard now. He is only looking for “redemption” to regain that lifestyle.

    He has apoligized to everyone except those his words and actions damaged the most, the families of the Gay kids who killed themselves, the Gays who were beaten by those influenced by his words, the Gays who were thrown out of their homes and famlies, I can go on………..Sorry I for one will never give this scumbag a pass, nor feel the least bit sorry for him…………

  • zenflo

    @anonymous: Well, I don’t know for sure, but if I had to hazard a guess, I suppose I might say: sucking weenies!

  • zenflo

    @anonymous: No. 23: I don’t know what he’s doing for sure, but if I were to hazard a guess, I suppose thare’s a fair chance I might say: sucking weenies!

  • zenflo

    I just despise it when the Queerty system has a seizure and my champagne prose is repeated.

  • Bianca

    “Has Ted and Gayle Haggard’s Media Blitz Made You Feel More Sympathy? Or Anger?”

    Gave me a good laugh.

  • schlukitz

    Co-sign, Terrwill. And the really sad part is that many of the parents of the teems who killed themselves because of Ted’s hateful and reviling remarks probably have no idea, or could care less, as to the effect of his words and feel sorry for Haggard.

  • terrwill

    @schlukitz: Amen Brother…….

  • 1EqualityUSA

    “Champagne prose” this is so fun, Zenflo, 27

  • KneePads

    With his militaristic check in schedule, it doesn’t really bode well for trust. Ted reeks of fast talk’n skeeze ball so my opinion is, that’s just what he is, that’s what he projects and that doesn’t make for a trusting person. Wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Zero sympathy here, they’ve had the chance to see reality. Time to move on.

  • jan

    I just wish one of Rush Limbaugh’s wives would say he is “cured”. How much can 40 million a year buy to silence ex-wives? Hateful, bigotry needs to end in the church and on the air waves.

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