Ted Haggard’s Cameo In The World’s First Sexless Sex Comedy

Have you heard of the Christian remake of The 40-Year-Old Virgin? It’s called The Waiting Game and the girls at your prayer group are gonna love it! Plus it features Ted Haggard. He’s so handsome!

Jack’s fiancee left him at the altar (probably because he only wanted to marry her for the sex). So now she’s left him with a major case of blue balls and he’s determined to find another bride, ANY BRIDE, just to get his nut on. He tells a friend, “I’m just gonna do what I wanna do anyway. It’s not like it’s gonna wind up on the front page of the newspaper.”

And then…. Hahahahahaha…. and then… Bwahahahahaahahaa… Ted Haggard says….

“Hey buddy, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

OMG! Comedy GOLD.

Yeah, but no really Jack. Listen to Faggard. Once he bought a bunch of meth and a hooker (not to use of course) and it ended up all over the innernets. The boy’s been going downhill ever since. And he’s not even gay!

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  • Cam

    They remind me of those Mormon movies where they want to present an image where every guy is running around saying “Oh Golly Gee Wilikers” and all the girls are leaving ridiculous little things they made in crafts classes to ask them out to a dance.

  • Caliban

    OMG, you’re right! It’s JUST LIKE “The 40 Year Old Virgin” without the production values, laughs, a talented cast, or anyone you’d like to boff! But that’s alright, because these filmmakers have brought something new and fresh to the table, self-righteous scolding. Yay!

    That’s one of the first questions I ask myself when considering how to spend my hard-earned entertainment dollars, “Sure ‘X-Men: First Class’ has a big budget and mutants, but does it induce guilt? Will the trip home from the theater feel like a walk of shame?” Probably not, which is why that movie won’t be playing in MY Prayer Closet anytime soon! And maybe the Lord won’t chastise you with pimples from the snack bar chocolate and Coke if you watch “The Waiting Game” instead, a movie that chastises you for its entire length!

  • gregger

    There are no words to express how truly bad this “movie” is on so many different levels.

  • dvlaries

    “Well, if my name’s a national joke for the rest of my life, maybe I can cash in.”

    Hey Hollywood, maybe you can get Ted, Kato Kaelin, Paula Poundstone, Fabio and Charlie Sheen and throw them all in some cheap comedy.

  • Matthew

    And the Golden Globe goes to …

  • Indigo

    @Dvlaries: Why Paula Poundstone? I must have missed her scandal.

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