“So my daughter told me she ‘hates gay people’ yesterday and I’m at a loss on how to handle this.”
Those are the opening words of a concerned father in a Reddit post seeking help. It’s certainly a role-reversal in how we usually hear these kinds of familial conflicts play out, but young people are like sponges — sometimes influence comes from the unlikeliest of places.
He says he made a joke about his daughter “surprising us” by bringing home a girl. “Her reaction was of immediate disgust of homosexuality which left me stunned.”
“I am in no way a prejudiced person and have a strict belief of acceptance of all people (do my best with this). This morning I told her I was very disappointed and that she shouldn’t judge people based on anything other than their actions and even then forgiveness is always a door that should be unlocked. She proceeded to tell me being gay was disgusting and that she thought it was gross and she really does hate gay people.”
Every study on the subject shows that young people embrace diversity in sexuality and gender at incredibly high, never-before-seen rates. But clearly the wold won’t be all butterflies and gumdrops once they mature into adulthood.
Perhaps this girl is in fact just going through a phase, and will learn she doesn’t really mean the things she’s saying, but what should this dad do in the mean time?
“It’s not what I want for her and I know it’s best to show kids a good direction and let them make conclusions themselves but, I feel like I failed somewhere. She’s always been a good kid and she’s in her second year of college (she’s been done with HS credits way early, yea smart one) even made deans list last quarter so I just can’t figure out why the hate. Her mom is full Latina so she is biracial which I would think that alone might give her a little better perspective on what it’s like to be a minority and she’s even been on the bad end of racism on more than one occasion from adults. So she knows what it’s like to be hated or looked down on just because of her appearance.”
Then again, college is the time when some of our core identity characteristics are cemented, which is troubling here to say the least.
What advice would you give Dad?