Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].
It’s time again to reach into our massive medicine cabinet and pick the Douche of the Week. This time, the honor goes to the acclaimed Texas author/televangelist/bigot Joel Osteen!
He’s what we like to call a tip-toe douche: If it were up to him, he’d tip-toe around the issue when asked. He’ll say things like, “I’m not trying to bash anybody,” and “there are other sins in the bible too and sometimes the Church, and I don’t mean this critically, we focus on one issue.”
Listen, Joel, tip-toe all you like but at the end of the day you’re either with us or against us. And as he proved on Piers Morgan Tonight on Tuesday, this d-bag is obviously against us.
How about we take this to the next level?
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“I’m not mad at anybody, I don’t dislike anybody,” he tells Morgan. “But respecting my faith and believing what the scripture says, that’s the way I interpret it…200 years from now, the Scripture is still going to say that.” It’s odd Osteen can tell us what the Scriptures say, because by his own admission he never attended seminary or has received any training in religious studies.
This is hardly Osteen’s first offense: In 2009, Osteen told Whoopi Goldberg on The View that “homosexuality is not God’s best.” When he appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight back in January, he mentioned some watered-down nonsense about how homosexuality is a sin, but that he still loves everyone.
What’s worse is that Osteen is actually quite popular. His homophobia reaches over 7 million viewers in over 100 countries every Sunday. The tip-toe effect makes his brand of homophobia seem less crazy, and therefore more dangerous.
So, no, Mr. Joel “Summer’s Eve” Osteen. We do not care for your mild intolerance, just as we do not care for your Tim Allen quaff or plastic toothy grin.
All together now: What a douche!
Robert in NYC
Seems like a closet case to me.
Whore-ny
Let’s face it, Ms. Osteen is a big closet case. No “straight” man has a face or hair like that. And that toothy grin, straight out of The Addams Family. Way too much make-up also, or is it just bad surgery, or both? We need some gay guy to finally ‘fess up to doing Ms. Osteen, because it’s obvious to anyone with one iota of gaydar that this guy is either a switch hitter or deeply in the closet. His bubble-headed wife probably straps it on and gives it to him good. I am sure he squeals with delight.
CBRad
Might be closet-gay, yet something there also reminds me of hetero creep John Edwards.
Cam
@Whore-ny: Said…
“Let’s face it, Ms. Osteen is a big closet case. No “straight” man has a face or hair like that.”
_____________________________
I’ll go one step further. NO Straight guy spends this much time thinking about gay people. They may support gays or not support gays. But no actual straight guy has us on their mind that much.
Additionally, he can soft peddle all he wants. But whether or not a KKK member smiles or screams how much difference did it make to the people they were attacking?
Gigi
The scripture says lot of things that Mr. O and those of his ilk choose to conveniently ignore. Why are they all still so hung up on The Gays?
christopher di spirito
I really don’t give a rat’s ass about Joel Osteen.
What DOES bother me is a tweet I recently saw by avowed Christian, Broadway star and alleged supporter of the LGBT community, Kristin Chenoweth.
Kristin tweeted how much she enjoyed listening to Osteen. I was like, seriously?
ewe
He sounds like Laura Bush which is to say he is a complete fucking phoney charlatan only interested in his bank account. These hypocrites pick and choose which bible filth they want to adhere too while ignoring all the ones that inhibit their own behavior. Osteen is a Sinner.
Wayne
Oh, he is so going to hell. Look at what he said on “The View.” Homosexuality is not God’s best work? OK, whether he meant to say it, it seems that he does acknowledge that we are born this way. But to say it’s not God’s best work! Where does he get off thinking that he can judge God? A Christian is not supposed to do that.
But then the author points out that Osteen has no religious training. I had no idea. Amazing that millions follow this guy, buy his books, etc., and he’s not even a qualified minister. He’s nothing but a fraud, a pretty-boy fraud. Oh, I think the closet-cases have a hard-on for this guy.
Mike Hipp
My scripture, given to me by my personal god, tells me that people who follow the incoherent ramblings of some 2,000 year old goat farmers is to be disregarded with the same amount of care that I flush my effluence.
I have my beliefs and you have yours. Here’s the difference, and why I am a higher moral being than you, you little punk. I don’t try to force my beliefs on other people through culture or laws.
Your scripture is a dying meme that is grasping for the surface as it sinks under the weight of it’s own bigotry.
In 200 years it’s my hope that the Human Race will have woken up and thrown off the shackles of religiosity.
ewe
Osteen is in the business of peddling dishonesty and manipulating the vulnerable. Karma will repay him. He is a materialistic evil piece of dirt.
walt
His name on his church building is in a bigger font than the name of the church itself. That pretty much tells you all you need to know.
Dorothy
@Robert in NYC: Holla!
Eric in Chicago
Well I need to play “devil’s advocate” here. Lots of these Christian ‘leaders’ especially televangelists spent most of their time on homophobia and gay bashing. At least Mr. Osteen doesn’t use his anti-gay views as one of his main platforms or focus. He never even talks about it unless pressed. I think that’s at lease SOMETHING.
Franco
He and his wife look like robots. “200 years from now the scripture is still going to say that.” Umm.. yes because it was written by fallible men like him.
Kirk212
The good news is that organized religion is fading quickly in affluent civilized societies. Granted there will always be the pathetic types (even in the gay community – some gay mega churches in the south) who cannot think for themselves and sadly require sheparding. But one day man will be rid of these preacher parasites.
ewe
@Eric in Chicago: remind me to tell straight people that they are a mistake next time one of them asks for an opinion. And i will also make sure that i use gODD as my rationale for saying so. FOOL.
ewe
@Franco: lol. That is so true. Gee i can read any book over and over and over again and it too will say the same thing without changing. Puff is on the tv. Puff is on the the tv.
Michael
The idiots that watch his tripe he calls a show must be as stupid as he is.
Little Kiwi
Joel Osteen lives a plush rich-man’s life which, according to his own religious book’s scriptures is the ACTUAL “sin of Sodom” – he ignores this, while he no doubt is aware of it, which means he is also breaking the Ninth Commandment.
So, yeah. He’s not to be taken seriously. He lies to people in order to reap the benefits for himself. He’s a pig, a bigot, and a smarmy prick.
The reason that people like Osteen focus on homosexuality (which aint mentioned in the judeo-christian bible) is because it’s an “easy” target – they can focus on that, and it allows the legions of other things specifically listed as “sins” to go unnoticed – that way the dumbass masses can convince themselves that they’re still Christians because they’re not gay, even though they’re literally ignoring a world of other biblical passages and rules.
ewe
Puff IS on TV after all.
CBRad
@Eric in Chicago: That’s true. The gay thing is not his main focus. Still, though, I can’t believe how fools will actually think this smooth-talking slicky and his stepford-looking wife actually have any merit with advising them on their own lives re. religion. If you really, genuinely, want to be a Christian to the ultimate degree you’d probably live in a small simple house and every single excess cent would be given to others in need.
michael
200 years from now scripture will say the same thing???? Less than a hundred years ago Corinthians was condemning masturbation and not homosexuality. And, yes, he is totally gay. The man has a bigger lisp than Cindy Brady had and he is beyond effiminate.
Little Kiwi
it’s impossible to be both a right-wing Christian and a fiscal-Republican – the religious book these folks thump their fists on as an excuse for all of their societal bigotries is full of condemnations of the greed and monetary-related self-entitlements that The Right cling to and defend.
Christ spoke more about giving to the poor and the sin of hoarding wealth than almost anything else.
amazing how the self-professed “Christians” of a so-called “Christian nation” conveniently ignore all of them.
Ogre Magi
I am sooooo sick of christians
CBRad
And can you believe this guy was invited to, and attended, Obama’s 2010 Easter breakfast? (Obama, I basically like you, but….c’mon..!)
Mikenstl
@Wayne: you can be a ‘ qualified’ minister without having formal training, just like you don’t have to a formal schooling to be a plumber, carpenter, etc. It may help, but doesn’t mean that you’ll be intrinsically better than someone that is self educated. This being said, he’s still probably a tool…
disbecharlied
You know, all of you here are complete dicks. All you ever seem to do is BITCH about how bad they’re treated, and yet all you scumbags are doing here is bashing someone who hasn’t ever done a THING to ANYONE!! As a gay man, i’m ashamed to even be associated with all you haters, and it’s disgusting that you engage in the very same behavior that you openly condemn. Of all the shady, lowlife so-called Christian teachers, Joel Olsteen is one who I’ve never seen bash or openly condemn anyone…and you nutsacks are calling him a jerk because he DOESN’T come out against gay people? And THEN have the audacity to call him a closet case? Because he’s a nice guy with curly hair? WTF is wrong with you pricks? Talking all this trash about a decent guy, just because he’s a pastor? Talk about HYPOCRITES, man!!
I used to have respect for this blog, but this post just makes me sick. I don’t even listen to this guy, but of what I’ve seen of him, he’s always stayed away from the gay-bashing that everyone else does – and yet, he’s still considered the “enemy”? This blog, and everyone who participated in trash talking this guy, is a disgrace. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Little Kiwi
@disbecharlied: thanks for showing us all that you’re a doormat with no ability to intellectually discern.
you’re the one who should be ashamed of yourself, wimp. what your permit, you promote. Osteen has a history of anti-gay rhetoric, only it’s delivered “Anita Bryant Style” with a nice white smiling face.
doesnt’ change the message or tone.
you can be a little Christian lapdog all you like. those of us with spines and self-respect will call out prejudice for what it is, no matter how “pretty” the package.
you just made yourself look like a fool, dude. keep it up.
prohomo
@disbecharlied: BS. He believes gay is wrong. End of story.
Gauthier
@disbecharlied: I am a longtime lurker and this is one of the first comments I’ve made on this site, but I had to take the time. I’m sorry, I have to ask, but are you retarded? People like you are the reason the LGBT-rights movement is slowing down, because you’re too cowed by popular media and too satisfied by your current lifestyle that you are blinded to the inherent hate embedded in this man’s words. This is actually one of the first posts where I’ve seen comments that follow the same righteous disgust without petty arguments happening in between, and that made me happy.
Along comes you with the most inane argument I have seen in a long time to disrupt this feeling of unity. Oh, no, you’re right; he is cheesily goodlooking in a plastic-surgery kinda way, so why would we bash this poor, well-dressed man? How dare we! He is not ACTIVELY expressing his homophobia so we should give this poor guy a rest… You make me sick. This spawn of bigotry is the kind we have to be most careful of, because their subversive persona attracts the casual viewers that would otherwise be repelled by all-out hate speeches, so he gets to spread his message to as many as 7 million people around the world. This is something we need to fight against, and not be lax about, because it is far more dangerous than the zealots who are vocal about it and can be ridiculed because of their exaggerated attitude. This pile of shit is glib and smooth, and, if you’d been too much of an ignorant halfwit to notice in the original post, the comments, or the media, he is very much an anti-gay agent. So roll your thoughts around seven times in your peanut-sized brain before you post a comment like that and make us all look like complacent idiots.
Austin - not That Austin
Did anyone here actually see the show? I did, and he didn’t come off all that bad.
He and his wife both came across unappologetically Christian, but respectfull of
their gay friends. They both agreed they have gay friends, and if invited to
one of their gay friends wedding, that they would go, out of respect to their friend,
not because they believe in gay marriage (which they do not).
Disrespecting Pastor Orsten because he has nice hair is equivalent to harrasing someone
as gay because they lisp. Tacky, tacky.
Little Kiwi
@Austin – not That Austin:
someone who attends an interracial marriage even though they “disagree with race-mixing” is still a bigot.
i’m stunned at how intellectually feeble some of you are. seriously.
“oh he doesn’t agree with being gay, but he has gay friends, so he’s not a bigot.”
No, you’re a moron.
Rick Santorum claims to have gay friends, too. So does Sarah Palin. I’d love to meet these so-called “gay friends*”.
*HINT – members of GOProud don’t count. they’re resentful and reluctant white right-wing homosexuals.
Gauthier is correct – Equality is coming so slowly because some of you guys are complete doormats. you see bigoty, you see prejudice, and you go “oh, no. um, it was like said NICELY, so its’ not bad”
no. you’re just wimps who can’t grow a pair and call bigotry what it is.
Little Kiwi
one more thing for some of you suck-ups to remember: being against gay marriage is being against gay people. being against gay people is bigotry, no matter what your excuse for it is (cough cough RELIGION cough cough).
you cannot be against gay marriage and not anti-gay. and if you think you can be then i feel sorry for you, because you’re living in a delusional dreamworld.
what you permit you promote. Osteen is a pious hypocritical pig.
Michael
@disbecharlied:
Open YOUR EYES dude.The only difference between this bigot and the ones that are in your space is easy to notice automatically: the fake insincere smile. Only difference is hes a bigot who hides behind a false smile and his bible to promote bigotry and intolerance.
Sorry also but I do not call someone nice just because they smile at you.It’s what is hiding behind that smile that is the problem.The gay friend thing also has been used way too many times it is a useless justification and excuse to be homophobic and ignorant.
Michael
in your face not space.
Dawson
I think so people are missing the point. He is affective. He is being listen to by millions. He is charismatic. His message is getting across to millions. We can say all we want about not liking him or listening to him but at what cost? OURS!
We need to use the Bible against the same people who use it against us. The Bible is not as anti-gay as people seem to believe. The dialogue show be about FACTS. Not about his looks or hair. You fight back with knowledge and a clear arguement. Take the time to read Leviticus or Genesis. The Bible is very supportive of slavery, killing of children and adulterers, plural marriges, etc. If he these pundits are not free of sin how dare they case stones!
CBRad
@disbecharlied: THIS is the first time you’ve really been angry about posts on Queerty!? You can’t have been here too often. I’ve read far worse statements against others far more benign than this guy.
Little Kiwi
The reality is that feeble-minded folks will choose, instead, to direct their anger toward the Westboro Baptist Church.
WHY? The westboro’s didn’t inspire ANYONE to vote for Prop 8. The westboro’s are so batshit insane and hateful that they actually do OUR work for us. There are less than 100 WBC members. They have no influence.
This fucker? He has legions of followers, millions of ’em, and he indeed is anti-gay yet does it in a sweetly-smiling way that appeals to intellectually stunted low-thinkers.
they think “OH, he’s nice!”
No. He’s the real enemy. Not the Westboros. They’re making our case easier for us. it’s the calculatedly subversive prejudice and bigotry peddled by people like Joel Osteen that folks need to wake up to.
Chad
THE GAY COMMUNITY NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND BE PREPARED TO RESPOND TO THE LIES OLSTEEN JUST TOLD. SCRIPTURE DOES NOT MENTIONED HOMOSEXUALITY ANYWHERE. IF OLSTEEN WANTS TO TALK ABOUT CHANGES AND SCRIPTURE SUPPOSEDLY NOT THEN HIS ASS NEEDS TO BE PUT IN CHECK. “SODOMITE” IS A CHANGE FROM THE ORIGINAL GREEK AND HEBREW. PAUL NEVER EVEN USED IT. NOT IN ROMANS 1 OR 1 COR. 6:9.
JUDE 7 ACCURATELY REFERENCE THE DETAILS OF GEN 19 BY USING THE GREEK “SARKOS HETRAS” WHICH MEANS “FLESH DIFFERENT” NOT “UNNATURAL LUST” THE WAY TRANSLATORS HAVE CHANGED YES CHANGED IT TO BE.
LEVITICUS SPECIFICALLY MAKES NO REFERENCE TO FEMALES. NOW WHY DO U THINK THAT IS OLSTEEN? CHECK THE CONTEXT AND THE HISTORIC REFERENCE LEVITICUS IS REFERRING TO AND IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR THE CANNANITE MALE SEX RITUALS ARE BEING REFERRED TO. THATS WHY IN DEUTERONOMY MALES AND FEMALES ARE PHROBITTED FROM TEMPLE PROSTITUON. EXPANDING THE PROHIBITION TO ALL OF ISRAEL. FURTHERMORE LEVITICUS DOES NOT USE THE PHRASE “AS WITH” IN REGARDS TO A MAN WHO LIES WITH A MALE “AS WITH”A WOMAN. TRANSLATORS INSERTED THIS.
AND SINCE THE BIBLE HASN’T CHANGED OLSTEEN PERHAPS U SHOULD CALL THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION AND TELL THEM TO REVERT BACK TO ENDORSING SLAVERY FROM THE PULPIT!!!
OLSTEEN UR LIES R SO TRANSPARENT AND U COULD BE PUT IN CHECK WITH MERELY THE SNAP OF A FINGER. THE HISTORICAL FACTS R AGAINST U. HISTORY IS AGAINST U. AND EVEN THE ORIGINAL HEBREW AND GREEK ARE AGAINST U. ALL SOMONE HAS TO DO IS GRAB U BY THE HEAD AND RUB UR FAT NOSE IN IT. AND IT’S HIGH TIME SOMEONE DID THAT TO U PUBLICALLY. OLSTEEN WHY NOT DRAG UR SORRY BUTT ON YHE MICHAEL SIGNORELLE SHOW AND TRY TO LAY OUT UR GARBAGE THERE AND SEE HOW FAR U GET?!!
U SICKENING BLASPHAMIST!!
tefinger
Well thank God for the CAPS LOCK button
Chad
DAMN RIGHT!!
Bryan
People need to stop with the homophobic guy=closeted gay nonsense. No it doesn’t, some people are just naturally hateful morons and 100% heterosexual.
The only good thing I can say about Joel Osteen is that he at least seems to be calm, rational bigot unlike the lunatics at WBC. That’s not to say he’s any less of a bigot, but at least he’s not a raving looney.
the crustybastard
Yes Joel, in 200 years, the Bible is still going to say the same stupid shit.
So what? The Bible is not God.
Worshipping the Bible is idolatry. Think for yourself.
Cam
@disbecharlied: said…
“As a gay man, i’m ashamed to even be associated with all you haters,”
_________________________________-
This is the sign of a troll. Gays rarely or never say “As a gay man” or “As a Lesbian” or “As a gay person”.
We’re on a gay blog, we assume gay issues are being discussed here. IT is ONLY right wing trolls that use that phrase because they want to pretend that the hateful opinion is coming from one of us and not one of them.
michael
@disbecharlied: @disbecharlied: I guess it was just a figment of my imagination when I saw him in person at his so-called church condemn gay people. And yes, he is 100% gay. Have u seen him talk before? I know drag queens who are more macho and masculine.
michael
@Bryan: give me a break. The university of Georgia did a study which proved homophobes are closet cases.
And, again to any of u trying to say he’s not a closet case, have u actually seen this man walk or talk???
Mk_Ultra_Again
You can always tell a concern troll because they start out with, as Cam pointed out, “As a gay man…”. It’s like, “I have gay friends but…”. It’s employed by anti-gay types who want who believe that by attaching it to the beginning of their vomit, they can pass it off as non anti-gay. Hello, no one’s buying it. The fact is that Osteen is anti-gay. He has admitted it, however coyly or euphemistically. He has millions of followers so he has power and influence and he is telling them that “homosexuality is not God’s best”,again a euphemism for “less than us”. Just because he attends his “gay friends” wedding doesn’t negate the real harm he’s doing the LGBT community. One could speculate that his attendance isn’t even genuine, but instead an attempt at good PR on his behalf. Considering how fake he comes off in any interview, I wouldn’t doubt it.
Anyways, the point is that he is definitely a hypocrite and deserves douche of the week. Behind that overly Botoxed, porcelain veneer is a con-artist, making money off of the second oldest profession in the world
Jeremyfitzroy85
At least he’s not actively bashing gays like most others do.
Rick Payne
I could have not said it better Rev. Joel Osteen is a blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick and enemy of all that is queer, and is the perfect Douche of the Week! It is time to re-read the story of David & Jonathan and know Jesus was over 32 NEVER married and hung out with 12 other guys and it it is said he loved only…you guessed it another man…it is also interesting that Jesus NEVER said an unkind word about gay people. I believe the negative thoughts came from mistranslations of the bible. God loves gay people and HE made them just the way they are. In the beginning God did make Adam & Steve I do believe, and gender evolved in human beings…explain why men have breasts. In the beginning humans are simultaneous hermaphrodites in the beginning of time. The bible is a love letter commanding all of mankind to love one another….God IS love…so IF it doesn’t look or feel like love it can not be of God…Joel Osteen is all about hate and so can not be of God. I am sure of few things, but this is one of them God loves Queers!
Rick Payne
I could have not said it better Rev. Joel Osteen is a blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick and enemy of all that is queer, and is the perfect Douche of the Week! It is time to re-read the story of David & Jonathan and know Jesus was over 32 NEVER married and hung out with 12 other guys and it it is said he loved only…you guessed it another man…it is also interesting that Jesus NEVER said an unkind word about gay people. I believe the negative thoughts came from mistranslations of the bible. God loves gay people and HE made them just the way they are. In the beginning God did make Adam & Steve I do believe, and gender evolved in human beings…explain why men have breasts. In the beginning humans are simultaneous hermaphrodites in the beginning of time. The bible is a love letter commanding all of mankind to love one another….God IS love…so IF it doesn’t look or feel like love it can not be of God…Joel Osteen is all about hate and so can not be of God. I am sure of few things, but this is one of them God loves Queers!
kawneekwa
He lieing douche nozzle. He sho is.
B
No. 2 · Whore-ny wrote, “Let’s face it, Ms. Osteen is a big closet case. No “straight” man has a face or hair like that. And that toothy grin, straight out of The Addams Family. Way too much make-up also, or is it just bad surgery, or both?”
To be fair, the support staff at the TV studio probably supplied the makeup, and a probably gay makeup artist to go with it. If you were a gay makeup artist handling a known homophobe, what would you do (if you could get away with it)?
Dorothy
@Ogre Magi: Me too. So over them!
HM
As plastic as the fish on his bumper…..
BubbasBack
I´d bang him. burp.
snitch
I have heard a persistent rumor than the good pastor has a gay foot fetish; perhaps a few of his fellow pastorbators would come forward with, at least, some pics…as I said just a rumor I keep hearing from those who might be in the know.
Gerard Gibney
The ten commandments are specific they profess fidelity and acceptable behavior, they don’t even attempt to address homosexuality and Jesus never judged anyone. Follow your conscience and treat people how you would like to be treated it’s not that hard.
X
Wow, gays are just like everyone else – ignorant, hateful and vicious. You ladies ought to go to church — you’d fit right in. lol
you pinned Osteen as queer based on a catalog of ugly stereotypes, his hair, his lisp, his smile, his teeth — mother fuck! And he’s a douche bag because he thinks homosexuality is wrong but by all accounts he’s not a hate-mongerer and actually respects those who disagree with him. and he guys that don’t agree with your hate mongering are “lap dogs.” lol
Shannon1981
What a douche nozzle. I really wish the pro gay crowd would stop giving these clowns airtime. Then they’d have no platform from which to spew their hate. And yes, he is definitely a closet queen. All you have to do is look and listen to see that.
Bryan
@michael: Can you post a link to that study? And no I don’t know the man, so I don’t know if he’s gay or not, but I think it’s silly to assume that homophobic people are all closet cases.
David
It is not whether a man is gay or not it is whether you understand that all men are accountable to God, in particular the man Christ Jesus. As men we must accept that Jesus died for the all the sins of all men. We must renounce the works of the devil, confess our sins to God, pledge our allegiance to Jesus Christ, be baptized and we are then saved by grace through the faith. If we do not not believe in the man Christ Jesus we are condemned already and destined to hell with the devil and his angels.
Raven
Maybe Joel just wants to be nice about it. Some people would be downright rude. I don’t tip toe as you call it. I don’t judge any one for their lifestyle either. We should accept everyone. IMO, though, the Bible states that it is a sin for a man to lay with another man. I’ll state it flat out. I would welcome a gay or lesbian into my house with no problem but I will go by the scripture. IT’S WRONG!! There, I didn’t tip toe.
Raven
@Ogre Magi: They might be sooooo sick of you, too. Ever think about that?