lol parenting

Terrible Advice On Turning Your Lesbian Daughter Straight

I have never heard of The Ladies Monthly, but I have to assume it’s a parody site, sort of like After all, they’re recommending American women show solidarity with our troops in the Middle East by wearing hijab swimsuits in red, white, and blue colors. And then there’s that whole piece on why readers should support bestiality, because after all, “Ladies’ Monthly Research Lab has found that even today as we live in big cities, 53,8% of the American population regularly engages in naughty play with beasts big and small,” which isn’t true. (It’s closer to 52.5%.) So when I got through “Setting Your Gay Daughter Straight,” I didn’t react like the 50+ commenters calling its author a “horrible person” for recommending parents retrain their gay daughters to be straight by “remind[ing] your daughter of the moral atrocity she is committing, as well as the ramifications of her decisions to her God.” I mean, this is a straight up LOL, right?

At least I hope it is:

Our last, but most effective strategy. The Bait and Switch should be your last resort. However, it is a very powerful tool, and you are not likely to be disappointed. Wait until an important event, like Homecoming or Prom. Knowing your daughter, she won’t have a date, so it’s your job to set her up with a nice boy. Since at this late stage she will surely refuse, you’ll need to outwit her. Set her up with an attractive young lady. She’ll see your actions as a motion of respect and acceptance of who she is, and she will most surely agree. What she won’t know is that her elegant suitor is actually a transvestite. He will use his skills to seduce her as a woman, maybe even making her fall in love. After the dresses come off, she’ll be given the surprise of a lifetime, a night she will not soon forget.

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  • chpinnlr

    the web site is reallly funny, and smart as shit. Lol!

  • Barry Wingarden

    What the gay to str8 people do is terrorize gay people into believing they will go to hell if they don’t do exactly as they are told. It is nothing but a terrorist scam which should result in the perpetrators being thrown in jail for religious terrorism and practicing medicine without a license.

    I know one of these victims – he is an absolute sicko. Once you break through his veneer of civility, challenge his beliefs etc you get comment like :

    Gays support the westboro baptist church, because it gets them sympathy.

    Matthew Shepards parents should have fixed him.

    The guy is as sick in the head as they come.Sick. And of course his wife, whom I’ve met once follows him, because she fears he wont be “in heaven” when she gets there.

    And he is a graduate of the catholic church “regeneration program” to fix gays. That name is the same name used in the middle ages to convert Jews to catholicism on pain of death.

    All they have done is regenerated their hatred to another group under the same name.

    The people who gave us hitler, the murder of 40 million muslims during the crusades etc etc.

    If there was a god, the vatican would have been swallowed up intot he hellfires of the earth , named Vesuivius II, long long ago.

  • jacknasty

    @Barry Wingarden: You sound REALLY insane. Please stop and think before you write a comment, and when you do write one read it back to yourself out loud before you hit the submit button.

  • Meher Zaman

    I hope my mom is not reading this! I came out last week :D

  • Jeffree

    The site is great–lots of parody. The articles are definitely satire, but I sure can’t tell if the commenters know that or not.

  • Sceth

    Definitely Satire.
    Here’s a piece of gold:

    Your baby needs to be given the motivation to learn how to improve its appearance. Tell the baby it is an ugly baby. Whenever you take it out in public without makeup on, cover it up and don’t let other people see it, and most importantly, don’t let it see other people. The goal is to show your baby that it needs to look respectable to be allowed to show its face in society.

  • chpinnlr

    @Sceth: that is priceless!

Comments are closed.