Terry Crews ignited a Twitter firestorm over the weekend after criticizing a New York Times op-ed on parenting.
It all started when Crews tweeted out a link to an essay titled “Why does Obama scold black boys?” penned by lawyer Derecka Purnell which criticized former President Barack Obama for remarks he made to young black men about how to grow into successful, healthy adults.
The former NFL linebacker and current star of Brooklyn Nine-Nine attacked Purnell for being a woman speaking about obstacles faced by men.
“Another thing that bothers me is that this OP-ED was written by a WOMAN about how boys should be taught to grow into successful young men.” Crews tweeted. “How would she know?”
The tweet attracted immediate backlash for its perceived sexism. Crews denied as much in another tweet: “I REPEAT: Women can speak with us. Just not FOR US.”
The conversation got even rockier when Crews tried to advocate traditional gender roles and male-female parenting. Never a good argument.
“I’ve reiterated many times that same-sex couples and single parents can successfully raise a child,” he tweeted. “But I believe paternal AND maternal love are like vitamins and minerals to humanity.”
When a follower pointed out that a child “will not starve” for having two loving, same-sex parents, Crews responded with “but they will be severely malnourished.”
Say what?!
You apparently thought I was your puppet. But I have a mind of my own, and can see and think very clearly.
The “phobic” tag is the most feared public tag next to racist.
I don’t fear it because I am neither.
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. https://t.co/wuBRM2SdEo
— terry crews (@terrycrews) March 2, 2019
Crews deleted the exchange shortly thereafter, though not before screen captures of the tweets went viral. Users attacked him for homophobia and sexism, which prompted another fiery response.
“You apparently thought I was your puppet,” Crews said in a tweet.”But I have a mind of my own, and can see and think very clearly. The ‘phobic’ tag is the most feared public tag next to racist. I don’t fear it because I am neither.”
The actor went on to apologize for his statements, admitting that they were poorly worded.
Crews, for his part, has a history of speaking out against homophobia in other areas. Earlier this year, he criticized comedian Kevin Hart for playing the victim after he refused to apologize for homophobic jokes. Crews has also vocally supported the #MeToo movement by sharing his own story of sexual assault.
Related: Terry Crews tells Kevin Hart to stop playing the damn victim: “You’re not being attacked!”
david_warner
Oh come on … this is the same guy who went off on the evils of pornography. He’s already demonstrated that he’s completely out of touch with what healthy sexuality is all about. Why should anyone care what he says at this point?
www.g-letshave.fun
To tell the truth i am not sure that it is so serious to discuss. This guy is not so famous
MISTERJETT
…..but he’s just so good to look at!!!!
Rock-N-RollHS
Agreed. Makes you want to cup his crotch!
Crystix
Its sad when you see someone you thought you respected blow it all up by inadvertently showing their true colors. My respect for him is now “Severely Malnourished”
GetOffMyInternet
Countdown to Jeremy Helligar writing an EXTREMELY long article which will use this as a starting point, and then make it all about him.
Rock-N-RollHS
Many, if not most, folks quietly believe Crew’s views. I certainly think it’s probably easier to have two happy, straight parents in this world. But families all f*3k us up anyway.
When are people gonna learn not to tweet anymore.
DCguy
Please provide any link to a poll or article proving your comment.
PoetDaddy
It wasn’t easier for me.
Donston
This why I’m so uncomfortable with heaping tons of praise on supposed “allies”. A lot of these “allies” are in the allying game for their own benefits. However, what he’s saying isn’t an unusual perspective. There are many supposedly “gay friendly” people who don’t genuinely believe in the stability, the substantiation and the logic of same-sex unions. While there are also many homosexual people and people with overall homo-leaning romantic, sexual, emotional, relationship affections and fulfillment that reject the idea of same-sex couples raising mentally healthy, independent and prosperous children. It’s one of the reasons many people give up on same-sex relationships and decide to get married to someone of the opposite gender or will raise a kid with a friend outside of a same-sex dynamic or will never have a kid even if they really want to. This is one of those topics that contains a decent amount of nuance, but it often does come down to some amount of homophobia, internalized homophobia and/or misogyny. You can’t get away from that.
sfhairy
But I wouldn’t mind being his puppet. Those hands are big and would provide a nice stretch!
DCguy
This guy has been parroting the Mormon Church’s line in lock step.
First he came out against porn, calling it an addiction, saying it leads to infidelity, and gave one of those B.S. “This is what happened to me” stories that all the Mormon elders just LOVE to lay out in the service, then he came out against masturbation around the same time, now attacks #LGBT families . Just Mormons being Mormons.
“”Since 2014, when he published his memoir, Manhood, Crews has been proselytizing against pornography and its harms. Along the way, he linked up with Mormon anti-porn group Fight the New Drug, which is most notable for the “PORN KILLS LOVE/FIGHT FOR LOVE” billboards “”
Kangol
The question is, has he watched any of those Mormon-porn videos, with the alleged elders and missionaries getting it on?
DC_FamilyMan
I think Terry’s comments are being over-interpreted…. he’s saying children need love from both male and female adults in their lives and i would completely agree. My husband and I are glad our son has multiple female figures (grandmothers/aunts/cousins) that show him love and he is well balanced for having all of us in his life and not just two guys.
uberhund
No. He is not saying that. He’s saying that maternal and paternal love are like vitamins, essential for a healthy person – not male and female input from aunts, uncles and family friends. By this definition, people brought up in single-parent or same-sex-parent households are severely malnourished. In fact, many amazing people come from backgrounds like this, especially the single-parent one on which there is plenty of evidence. It’s simple prejudice and nothing else.
PinkoOfTheGange
That was my take away too.
And the use of paternal and maternal was what he was referring to as being “poorly worded”
kernowcraig
I agree with you DC_FamilyMan. A child in a same sex relationship is going to grow up perfectly fine and often thrive. But kids need both male and female presence in their lives to make them rounded. That can be gran, aunty whatever. Its no different to the fact that even Mum/Dad families rely on the wider family unit to help shape their kids. I’m kind of getting pissed off with the constant “offence” people take and don’t believe it actually serves our community well because it stops wider debate and conversation.
DCguy
It always amazes me how many people on LGBT blogs are so desperate to excuse away bigotry.
balehead
#StopmakingStupidFamous….sound familiar?…
DC_FamilyMan
@uberhund – He said “no matter where you get that paternal and maternal love” so he’s not limiting this conversation to just the two same sex parents (or single parent) raising a child.
uberhund
Yes he is:
When a follower pointed out that a child “will not starve” for having two loving, same-sex parents, Crews responded with “but they will be severely malnourished.”
Maternal love is love from a mother, not a female friend of the family, and he clearly meant that when he said that same sex parents will leave a child ‘severely malnourished’. It’s a shame: I like(d) Terry Crews, and I don’t think he thought through what he was saying, but he definitely said it!
Black Pegasus
I think people are overreacting to his comments.
Donston
This is the internet. Everyone overreacts to everything. But the initial hostility in his comments and the belief that well-rounded and healthy kids can’t come from same-sex households was made clear. But it’s an opinion a lot of people and many supposedly proudly gay people have.
Terrycloth
Mr Crews is inserting unsolicited advice to a couple they did not ask for..they are not his children how other people raise children.be any of his buisness.? Wether its a single mother or dad ..2 moms or 2 dads. .kids want to feel.safe and loved..mr crews needs to polietly zip it and mind his own buisness.
okiloki
That’s the problem with twitter. No matter how much someone is an ally, they will never pass the purity test for everyone. Especially in this day and age when people are just waiting to pounce on any misstep or hint of scandal.
MonkeyMan
We need to stop with this “all or nothing” mentality. People can be our allies even if they don’t follow our ideas to a tee.
Would you want Crews to demand that you think exactly like him on every political issue? Didn’t think so.
DCguy
Translation: He attacked the idea of same sex parenting, but he’s the victim….ok, got it.
DuMaurier
I think part of the problem is the conversation spun away from his original point and got wilder and broader (as it tends to do on the Internet) At first he’s just defending Barack Obama offering stern advice to black male youth and by the end it’s that whole generalized, defensive vitamins and minerals stuff.
When Crews said a male black child will learn from a “successful black man” or “the street” that made the most sense to me. I haven’t lived that as a white gay male, but I have known men of color who were part of the “street” and the fact is a common theme is they lacked a strong, successful male figure in their lives who could steer them away from that. I’m not saying a woman couldn’t do that, or that it has to be his father, but that is what I’ve seen.
DCguy
Actually the thread was on topic, what you just tried to do was deflect the topic away from the homophobic comments to defend Crews.
CobraPowers
Where’s the lie in anything he said? The fact is that the nuclear family with one mom and one dad is still the healthiest for a child. Sorry, no offense, but it’s still true. And no, I’m not “self loathing”, I just call it for what it is.
Creamsicle
“It takes a village to raise a child.” We used to say that so people would realize how interdependent we are on each other. That’s not a bad thing, by any means, and it’s how lasting communities are built. If anything, refusing the aid of other people in raising a child for the sake of your own pride is toxic to both parent and child.
It might feel politically correct to say that love is not gendered, but is that really true? We see people within our community trying to find people like them all the time, because sometimes it’s nice to talk about our gendered experiences with people who understand them through their own experience. I can listen to my lesbian friends when they want to talk about their relationship and dating problems, but I don’t know anything about the local lesbian dating scene, and I have no advice to give them.