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Thanks Elijah Wood, The World of Hetero Rom-Coms Needed Another “Saucy Gay Friend”

So they’re making this movie called Celeste and Jesse Forever. Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg play a divorcing couple trying to remain friends. And Elijah Wood plays—and this is a real quote from the official press on the matter—Jones’s “saucy gay friend.”


Now, this is not about being anti-queen. Nor is not about “good” or “bad” representations of gay guys. And yes, we know Harvey Fierstein’s famous quote about how visibility is the most important thing of all. And we haven’t seen Wood’s take on “saucy” just yet. So you can call this jumping the gun if you like. But don’t say there’s no reason to worry.

Because we know what we’ve already endured. And their names are Sex and the City 2 and He’s Just Not That Into You and Confessions of a Shopaholic and No Strings Attached and on and on and on. Movies populated by highly specific (yet presented as highly typical) gays whose sole on-screen function is to provide solace, shoe advice, cocktails, cock jokes and sympathy period cramps. Didn’t make up any of that stuff just now, either.

Every male homosexual knows that there are all stripes of gay out there, not just the kind who live to be a pretty young straight woman’s accessory. So here’s hoping that the filmmakers know that too. And if this movie arrives in theaters and turns every fear and suspicious expectation we have on its head, then we’ll take it all back.

In Rock-n-Rolla we got Tom Hardy as a gay that ran with a crew of loutish crime lads. The Jason Statham remake of the Charles Bronson movie The Mechanic delivered a lethal gay hit man. Scott Pilgrim vs The World‘s gay best pal played by Kieran Culkin was one of the coolest screen creations of 2010. Hell, even Dave Matthews in Just Go With It possessed the never-before-known-to-humans-of-any-kind homosexual talent of being able to pick up coconuts with his buttcheeks.

All Wood’s character has to do is skirt the obvious and we’ll be happy. In the meantime the word “saucy” is going to hover over this project like an I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry fart cloud.