life meet art

That Time Kiri Blakeley Took Her Gay Fiance To See Brokeback Mountain

I am obsessed with Kiri Blakeley, the Forbes writer who wrote a book — Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love — about finding out her fiance is gay. Last time we heard about how Aaron grew a beard about a year before coming out. And now we know why: he’s likes the scruff!

Speaking to My Daily (which describes his coming out as the time he “cried gay”), Kiri informs us that she’s kept the engagement ring (good for her!), that dating men now includes a round of wondering whether they too are into dudes, and their fateful Brokeback Mountain episode.

Interestingly, we didn’t have a lot of gay friends, not that we wouldn’t have wanted them. There just weren’t a lot of them in our circle. But we did go to see Brokeback Mountain together and we’d had this whole discussion beforehand where I’d said “Are you going to be comfortable with the movie…there is gay sex in it?” And we went to see it and when the movie ended I tried to engage him in some conversation and he wasn’t like, “Oh, that was a movie I could relate to” but instead had simply said, “That was a good film.” When I found out he was gay, I then had to ask if he’d been turned on when we saw it and he said that not only were Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger not his type — they were “too pretty” and he actually liked hairy men which was ironic since I’d spent years shaving his back for him at his request — but that really he’d been too nervous the whole time to get turned on because he’d seen one of the guys he’d been having sex with from Craig’s List at the screening! And this guy actually ended up becoming a boyfriend to Aaron down the road.

As for the (now ex) fiance:

He’s not thrilled [with the book], but he did read the whole thing. I didn’t want to surprise him. Once I knew the book would be published I sent it to him. He requested a few changes, and I made them. But it’s not a condemnation of him. I don’t agree with the way he went about things and he wishes he had handled things better too. But I now can realize it must have been incredibly difficult for him. He didn’t want or choose to be gay. He wanted to be married to me and living a socially acceptable life. His sexual orientation was against his plans and wishes and I understand that. And he was still a person who was there for years who saw me through many trials, deaths of family members, 9-11, etc… He was always there for me during those times. There were lots of parts of him I loved and appreciated. There was just the one part I couldn’t live with.