A four-year-old boy. Drinking beer. Breaking into a neighbor’s home. Stealing their Christmas presents. While wearing a dress. We’re assured this news report was not produced by the Onion News Network. This is a sad, not a funny story. The boy had to have his stomach pumped. He was found wandering the streets in the cold in the middle of the night. And his mother believes he drank and burglarized the neighbors so he would get into trouble so he would be able to visit his father in prison.