THE FRIGHTENINGLY DEVOTED GAYS & GIRLS
I’m talking to you.
Now, we’ve been there every step of the way, from “Baby One More Time” to the 2007 Video Music Awards. We’re here for BRITNEY. And no, it hasn’t always been so easy.
Two years ago she was shaving her head, speaking in tongues, and getting strapped on to a gurney for a brief “relaxation” stint. And if there’s one thing we gays love more than rooting for a pop tart down on her luck, it’s her divine and miraculous return to grace. So look for us—we’ll be peppering the audience in our homemade, hot-pink glitter tees. And if you can’t see us, just stick out an ear and listen for the violent, shrill screams of “I LOVE YOU!” tucked in between the heaving sobs.
We’re also the A-holes who paid top dollar for VIP passes, which we’ll be wearing around our necks for 72 more hours.