demographics

The 9 Types of Britney Spears Concert Fans

straightguysbrit

THE STRAIGHT GUYS

While few in number, representatives of the breeding male population do indeed make cameos at Britney concerts. Almost all of them are dutifully playing the role of the unwilling-but-submissive boyfriend (often to the Young Skank), dragged in as retribution for forgetting a birthday or just some good ol’ “bonding time.”

Whether they’re scoping out the crowd for an opportune nip-slip or listening for another yelp of “My pussy’s hanging out!” from the stage, these boys are here for the T&A. With one arm secured behind their lady, The Straight Guys aren’t just marking their territory.

In the presence of seven-foot trannies and fire-engine red flamers, they’re struggling to hold on to their machismo. In some cases, exercises in identity validation may prove vital, so remember: If you’re a lady attending the Britney show and you feel a slight tap on the ass, don’t worry—it’s not rude…it’s just necessary at some point.