At an outdoor brunch party, Phillip and Taylor are both hungover and still pissed about the previous night. Phillip is fed up with how exposure to Levi’s fabled magic stick has turned half the group into raving lunatics.
For good measure, he and Taylor also trash James. As if on cue, James materializes, already in the cups, and the boys get mouthy with each other. Ashley is inevitably in the middle of it all. Phillip criticizes James for steadily draining his trust fund, which James reads as a slam on his mother.
In a flash, their argument escalates: James flings a drink in Phillip’s face and they trade blows, shrieking and yelling like schoolgirls. Ashley and a bouncer jump in to break them up but can’t prevent the boys from crashing into a table and careening into a group of bystanders.
Not that it was planned that way or anything.
James and Phillip are pried apart and Ashley marches James out onto the sidewalk. Phillip and Taylor are 86’ed by the bouncer. James fumes and cries and begins to run through a litany of woes that will be familiar to anyone who has dragged a boozy friend out of a bar fight: everyone overreacted; I’m not that drunk; I deserve credit for holding back, and so on.
Ashley tells him he needs professional help. James has heard this before and collapses onto the concrete, protesting and sobbing. In a confessional interview, Ashley compares the inebriated James to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. (“Whichever one is the bad one, that’s him,” she says. Girl, for fuck’s sake, put down the Bible and read another book.) For all of her infuriating behavior, Ashley deserves some credit for holding her friends accountable for their actions.
James, however, has entered a mood pocket from hell and won’t hear any of it: As the episode ends, he runs away, fuming and exhaling with boozy fury.
NEXT WEEK: The breakup between Levi and Taylor takes another nasty turn! James and Phillip clash (again)! James and Ashley pray to Jebus to save James’ soul! Yee-haw!
JC Adams is a Los Angeles-based writer, filmmaker and blogger of moderate renown. His first book, “Gay Porn Heroes” (Bruno Gmunder), was published in September. Find him on Twitter @GPTimes.