Elsewhere, Phillip has been skillfully stirring the shit, as usual. He and James gossip at the salon as they sit under blow dryers like a couple of bored housewives (or is that Housewives?). James states in a confessional that he plans to keep his feelings about Chase and Levi under wraps, but Phillip reads him loud and clear. Later, he and Chase go shopping where he tries on underwear. Eww—you can’t try on underwear! Did those briefs go back on the rack?
Chase picks that particular moment to drop the bomb that Levi didn’t like the photos Ashley shot of Phillip modeling the Inch Wear swimsuits. Phillip promptly conveys this nugget of gossip to Ashley as they work out together in a near-empty gym. (Do the A:LD producers even try to make it look like every single encounter isn’t staged?)
Ashley’s pupils narrow and steam begins to pour from her ears: She claims she canceled a pair of jobs with paying clients for Levi’s volunteer gig. Who knew Ashley is so in-demand she actually had two paying shoots on the same day and that her schedule is so packed she couldn’t pick a day when she wasn’t busy. That’s a true friend. (End sarcasm.)
The cast, minus Taylor—who is handily out of town on business—converges at Levi’s Inch Wear pool party for their big showdown. All the usual suspects are in attendance, including several gays whose only apparent role is to gasp in shock at the antics of one castmate or another. (They’re good at it because they are provided plenty of opportunity to practice.)
Levi and Chase continue their flirtation; Ashley steams and whines. A group of male models strip off gorilla outfits—yes, that’s right—to reveal their bulging Inch Wear suits and then leap into the pool. The gorilla-models are meant to symbolize Levi’s career evolution and the big lug even uses a banana microphone to address the crowd and later hands out bananas as a parting gift. It’s very cute or painfully twee, depending on your tolerance level.
Ashley, in a spectacular display of bad timing that is obvious even to Levi, tries to pick a fight over why Levi never specifically told her that her photos were bad. He is already kind of drunk and understandably tries to put off the conversation for another day—perhaps, for example, when he is not trying to entertain buyers and impress the media. He makes a stupid joke about her breasts and she tosses a drink in his face.
There is an utterly hilarious moment when Ashley is whining to Chase as the gorilla-clad models shuffle behind her on the way to their strip number. The terror on her face when she notices them is priceless. “I am so scared right now,” she gasps. Props to the editors for including this moment.
Outside, as the guests are leaving, Ashley (aided by a gleeful James) gets into it again with Levi. She slaps him and dumps another drink on his head. He throws a banana at her. Chase appears and finishes reeling in Levi, who can barely remember Taylor’s name at this point. They share a passionate makeout session and drive off together into the sultry Dallas night. Ah love!
Next week: Phillip and his father butt heads! More passive-aggressive bitchery from Taylor! Ashley discovers Levi’s bird-dogging with Chase behind Taylor’s back! Drama, tears, assholery! Git ‘er done!