Jessie J, the British singer whose numbers include “Do It Like A Dude” and who’s written for Justin Timerblake and Rihanna, has come out as bi in the most wonderful of ways: by making it a non-issue. “I’ve never denied it. Whoopie doo guys, yes, I’ve dated girls and I’ve dated boys – get over it. It’s not a secret, but it’s the only thing they can grab onto.”
reveals
The Chick Who Wrote Miley’s ‘Party In The USA’ Is Bi, And It’s No Big Deal
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justiceontherocks
If it’s no big deal, why is it here?
TheRealAdam
Until we have an openly bisexual male actor/singer, these news stories won’t really matter. Female bisexuals are a non-issue, at this point.
j
@TheRealAdam: This same line of reasoning is done to death and a none-issue, at this point. Also jessie j’s a really big name in the UK at the moment, who new she wrote for jt, rihanna and miley??
FluffyInDrag
I love this chick. She’s got pipes and balls and, yes, she doesn’t make a big deal of her sexuality because it isn’t one. That doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to point it out, it just doesn’t change the fact that she’s talented.
FURTHERMORE
When will you guys stop trying to turn everyone’s self-identification into a cry for attention? Especially when it comes to celebrities or anyone having anything to do with bisexuality. You’re only damaging yourselves and the reputation of the community at large. NBD, right?
TheRealAdam
@j: I don’t care how done to death it is, it still needs to be brought up. Especially sense the bi (and gay) men who ARE open are ripped to shreds by both the gay community and the straight community, but a free pass is always given to bi women.
@FluffyInDrag: The only thing that’s damaging is the way in which the sexuality of women is privileged in society by both straights and gays, while men are still forced to conform and remain closeted. You think about that. As long as the inequality and double-standards exist, it needs to be brought up.
TheRealAdam
@FluffyInDrag: I also thinks it hilarious how people like you say this girl has “balls,” and yet Adam Lambert “had balls” to be himself and yet he is routinely criticized by both gays and straights for being too gay and “in your face.”
Again, the double-standards. Every gay should be upset…but first gay men need to work on their own self-loathing and homophobia.
DJ
Love this song!
jason
I am sick and tired of so-called “bisexual” females. Females do not have a sexuality in the way men do. It is therefore misleading to even use the word “sexual” in describing females.
Females do not need to show that they are aroused in order to have a physical interaction with someone. Because women are sellers by nature, they will fake and embellish their so-called sexual interest in someone if there’s a benefit to be obtained, such as financial. Just like a seller in a shop, a woman will embellish what she’s selling in order to achieve a sale.
This is why there is so much fake female bisexuality around. I get so angry with these women. They are an insult to us and especially to men who, unlike women, are not permitted – and are not able – to fake their sexuality.
Vern
@Jason: Good point. You’re awesome.
missanthrope
@TheRealAdam:
Okay, women don’t matter, guys do? Got it.
And Jason, shut up for once. Your misogynist schtick is tiring.
missanthrope
P.S.
It’s fucking hilarious as heel to see a bunch of gay guys sit around and pretend to be authorities on female sexuality. You guys are like an irony factory.
Soupy
Jason has some mommy issues that he hasn’t quite worked out yet.
TheRealAdam
@missanthrope: I didn’t say they didn’t matter. I said there’s a double-standard, and until that’s addressed, the significance of female bisexuality is weakened tremendously. Jason also touched on why that is.
@missanthrope: P.S.
It’s “fucking” hilarious that you think anyone is trying to be an authority on female sexuality when we are just pointing out the obvious. Try douching a little and quit with the “fucking” PMS routine, OK stupid whore? Thanks, slut.
FluffyInDrag
@TheRealAdam: People like me? You mean people who are bisexual, which is pretty obviously not accepted or understood by EITHER LGBT or straight culture?
I’ve never said anything of the sort about Adam Lambert. That’s a pretty big thing to assume that just because I support one person’s right to identify as she pleases I must obviously hate someone else for his. There is no “people like me” unless you are really trying to push forward some sort of bizarre and illogical stereotype.
Balls are about having courage and I believe she has that, both from her public appearance and her music. I’ve seen her perform and she’s quite good and very honest.
As far as this whole concept of female sexuality… Dude. Really.
You guys should know better.
It has nothing to do with arousal. Sex is not all there is to sexuality. Personally, I believe that a person’s orientation is based on who they could see themselves having a serious relationship with, not who they are attracted to or who they have sex with.
To that end, Jessie J has said she “dated” other girls. It’s very presumptuous to think that that small bit of information makes you an expert on her sexuality. That’s for her to decide, and if she wants to (thus far, discreetly) present herself as being bisexual, more power to her and I should HOPE you guys would appreciate the benefit of unquestioning support the same as I prefer to give it.
I just don’t think that anyone has the right to question someone else’s identity. If someone says they are something, it should be accepted just the same as we all want to be accepted.
TheRealAdam
@FluffyInDrag: I’ve said what I had to say. Now you are dismissed.
jason
This bisexual double standard – wherein females are allowed to fake and over-state their sexuality, including bisexuality – is one reason why I’m opposed to the sexual revolution. The sexual revolution basically enabled women to do this because it marketed a permissive ethos under the guise of “liberation”. In actual fact, it was encouraging women to prostitute themselves.
If the natural state of a seller is to sell, it’s fair to say that the sexual revolution broke down the moral barriers to women prostituting themselves in the shameless ways we see today.
Of course, I’m not saying that every single woman subscribes to the prostitution ethic as encouraged by the sexual revolution. What I’m saying is that modern female culture has been heavily shaped by it. A lot of women don’t want to admit it but it’s true.
Under the permissive ethos of the sexual revolution, we gay men have partly benefited but only if we segregate our sexuality – both physically and conceptually – from mainstream sexuality. The trade-off has been biased against us in that, for our sexuality to be tolerated, we’ve had to segregate ourselves.
Thus, our genuine sexuality is marginalized and minimized whereas a female’s fake sexuality is celebrated and promoted. Shitty, isn’t it?
FluffyInDrag
@jason: How about just letting people identify as they please without assuming their reasons for it? Bisexuality is not the only tool people could use to attract attention to themselves. If that particular element of the “sexual revolution” is unacceptable just because SOME people might use it to be attention whores, we’d better get to work on designer clothes and makeup and gyms, too.
Not every female bisexual is a case of “I kissed a girl and I liked it”… to assume they are is extremely presumptuous and even cruel.
FluffyInDrag
By the way, there’s a B in LGBT for a reason. Just because bisexuals are SUPPOSEDLY more accepted (which isn’t true, seeing as it’s generally okay for women to ACT like they’re attracted to women but god forbid they actually fall in love with one or want to marry one) doesn’t mean it’s okay to insult them at every opportunity. As a bisexual myself, I can tell you that it’s very, very sad to get crap from both the straight community and the gay one. I just can’t imagine how you guys justify that kind of behavior to yourselves… do you not believe in the Golden Rule or something? I mean, really. I don’t think I’ve EVER heard a bisexual person knocking someone for being gay. Ever.
Shannon1981
@FluffyInDrag: I don’t like the discrimination within our own community either, but I can honestly say that I think this is a case of a few bad apples giving the whole bunch a bad name. Straight men find bi women hot, and they will never see it as anything other than an opportunity for a threesome or a chance to watch two girls get it on. It is never looked at as anything that has a serious potential for a monogamous relationship, and the women who participate and perpetuate these ideas are at fault as well. They allow themselves to be used as sex toys and a way to make being bi seem trendy, rather than as a legit, bona fide orientation. And, to that end, since straight people don’t really give a damn about the letters in LGBT and what the differences are, it paints ALL OF US with the same brush, and yeah, you’re gonna have some resentment there. Basically, this kind of behavior from these bi women(and honestly I think some are really bi, others just doing it for attention/because they can) kind of invalidates any sexual orientation besides heterosexual as something serious that deserves the same ability and recognition that straights get. Now, real, true, bona fide bisexual people like yourself? Rock On. But these fake hollywood bisexuals, and the women who imitate them? Fuck them. They give the entire LGBT community a bad name.
As for this Jessi chick, no idea which side of the coin she falls on, but if she is legit, awesome. Another public player for our team.
FluffyInDrag
@Shannon1981: Exactly. What I’ve been saying is there’s really no way, at least currently, to tell which side of that fence she’s on so it’s completely wrong to say those sorts of things about her, let alone making generalizations about bisexuals which are totally untrue and cruel.
The distinction must be made between bisexuals and “bisexuals” rather than equating them. Women (and men!) who play with others of their same sex for attention or otherwise without any intention of ever having a serious relationship with one are NOT bisexual at all. Yes, they are at fault for this but it should not be said that bisexuals are more accepted because of it. “Bisexuals” are acceptable but the idea of being truly bisexual is often treated as preposterous by both sides and I simply would hope that people with persecution complexes like I continually run into in LGBT community sites would be more understanding of that.
Qwerty
@jason: A lot of the songs on her record are about women, in a roundabout way. She isn’t using female pronouns, but the stories are personal to her relationships with women. This isn’t the stereotypical celebrity; Ke$ha, for example, who chooses to say she doesn’t like label, and finds all kinds of people attractive. That’s exploitative. You can find anyone attractive in being, that doesn’t mean you want to date them. I’d give Jessie J some credit, because I feel like she’d actually stand by the LGBT community for starters, and she’s actually dated women. But I get where you’re coming from, this era of pop stars where everybody HAS to be bisexual is getting really on my nerves. Media’s treating it like adopting children from Malawi, or those little purse dogs; a stupid trend. And someone’s orientation is not something you can swap out, exchange, or justifiably lie about for attention.
GeriHew
@TheRealAdam: “Until we have an openly bisexual male actor/singer, these news stories won’t really matter. Female bisexuals are a non-issue, at this point.” This ignorant remark is a fucking insult to every male musician and actor in history who ever came out as bisexual – and that includes Sir Elton John as well as Tom (Glad To Be Gay) Robinson.
GeriHew
@jason: I’m sick and tired of your stupid, hateful, ignorant remarks about women.
Shannon1981
@FluffyInDrag: Because of all I just said, and past relationships with those fake “bisexuals” I am currently struggling with the ability to even consider dating someone who is bi, and I absolutely hate it. The second she tells me she is bi rather than gay, I’m like Uh Oh, whether I want to be or not. These people who do this are ruining any chances of true bisexuals being talked to/taken seriously by gays and straights alike. I am making a real effort not to discriminate though, because its wrong. I think Jessi really IS bi, after seeing posts on this not just here but elsewhere too, detailing her relationships with other women. And you are right, you can’t tar all in any group with the same brush.It is cruel and inaccurate. This “bi is trendy” bunch is on my last nerve.
jason
GeriHew,
I don’t resile at all from what I’ve said. I’ve made my point, and I’ve backed it up with facts.
I find fake bisexual women totally insulting to me as a person and to the GLBT community in general. They do not deserve the protection of our community.
GeriHew
@jason: Jason says: “I am sick and tired of so-called “bisexual” females. Females do not have a sexuality in the way men do. It is therefore misleading to even use the word “sexual” in describing females.”
Just what does a gay man hope to gain from denying the very existence of female sexuality I wonder?