WHACK RECORD

The Ex-Gays Now Have A Theme Song That’s Incredibly Gay, Incredibly Awful

Condragulations to Dennis Jernigan, winner of the create your own ex-gay theme song contest. Yep, you read that correctly.

Voice of the Voiceless, those courageous souls battling the so-called oppression of ex-gays, ran a contest this summer and the winning tune made its wholly unimpressive debut at the “First Annual Ex-Gay Awareness Dinner.” In attendance was the “who’s that?” of the ex-gay movement, some 60 Christian leaders comfortably fitting into “a super-secret bunker deep under Washington D.C.,” reports Joe My God.

At least it was a better turnout than the handful of former homos that showed up to that epic fail of a rally held back in July. Dennis Jernigan, an ex-gay singer/songwriter (oxymoron)  was also there to perform his delusional inspirational ballad. Sure it sounds like part of an aborted score even Andrew Lloyd Weber found too treacly, but we’ll give it to Dennis — that queen can carry a note.

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21 Comments

  • Callum

    Just ’cause they’re ex-gay, doesn’t mean they’re ex-show-tune… ;)

  • Stache1

    Oh god. How sappy. This is another jesus loving song restyled for the ex dipshits.

  • MikeE

    So… they call themselves “ex-gay”?

    Isn’t that strange? I don’t call myself “ex-straight”. I’m just “gay”.

    So, somehow, somewhere, deep inside those sad little men, they are still attached to being “gay”.

  • Carlton Raines

    Someone needs to do a high energy remix of this,and turn it into a gay anthem just to remind this guy, that sleeping with women does not mean you dont like men, Its called being bi sexual,

  • yaoming

    Not the worst song ever and the performance definitely helped. Sounded like something you’d hear on a Christian radio station driving through North Carolina or something.

  • ouragannyc

    I thought the song was nice. I just don’t agree with the bigotry motives behind it.

  • phillybb

    sorry, I could not make it through the whole song as I was getting ready to barf!!! When this song starts out with dreaming a dreaming and reality…….I was losing my lunch! Oh, by the way, so I am not totally rude, congrats on winning the song contest between you and the other 1/2 person that entered

  • GlitterKidder

    Go Sis go!

  • Ogre Magi

    I utterly despise christians

  • Horse Lips

    I can’t even listen. I’ll trust you on this one.

  • breslowilario

    my buddy’s ex-wife makes *67 hourly on the laptop. She has been without work for five months but last month her pay was *13537 just working on the laptop for a few hours. More about the author…….
    url.mn/d6a9f44

  • Stache1

    @MikeE: This is a group created by a very well known hate group (the family research council). Ex-gay keeps the myth that change is possible going and good for fundraising. Just a marketing tool.

  • dm10003

    Joyless.

  • ridgelineranger

    Hmmm. Guess this will get added to the playlist rotation at Hobby Lobby.

  • Cyn

    This isn’t a coming out song? snerk

  • zappa123

    “At least it was a better turnout than the handful of former homos that showed up to that epic fail of a rally held back in July.
    NOTE: to Upworthy – when referring to people we say, “… handful of homos WHO not THAT.
    OY VEY
    This is the stupidest organization of people I have ever seen. They meet b/c they are all ‘ex-gay’ and expect any of us to believe that they are not all banging each other secretly at the end of every meeting. I am not convinced.

  • Sansacro

    Dudes a little stiff; needs some serious prostrate stimulation for that tension in his jaw, neck, and shoulders. I say we send a 21-year-old strapping ranch hand down there to help him: put an end to that sham.

  • cdinsf

    I love the cute little painted Dutch wooden shoes on the bookcase behind him!

  • Joe Dalmas

    How many “esses” are there in “destiny”?

Comments are closed.