The Fabulous Bizarre Gay Couple Raising A Doll Named Digby As Their Actual Child

The story of Mark Kirby and A.J. Sapolnick raising a doll — Digby– as their son has to be a joke, right? The trio travels the world together, and there are photo albums (including a baby book) to prove it. The couple found Digby in Paris, at a flea market, where he was covered in grime. But don’t ever call him a doll.

That’s a “four letter word,” exclaim the New York couple. “It wasn’t our intention to have a toy,” says Kirby. “Our intention was to create a family, and Digby was going to be part of our family.” Even if he doesn’t talk back? Cry? Date? Age? Apparently.

Digby has seen the pyramids, had a bar mitzvah at age 13, and wears bespoke clothing (often to match what his two daddies are wearing). Raised by a couple of 26 years — who, The Daily concludes, live in a fabulous NYC circle of “opera openings, art shows, and Mayor Bloomberg’s annual Gay Pride barbecue” — the toy is Mark and A.J.’s answer to what they saw around them some twenty years ago: all their straight friends having children. They wanted in, but they didn’t want to change their lifestyles.

They didn’t want him to leave for college either, it seems.

This is either the way I want to raise my children, or some bizarre case study about why gays shouldn’t raise children. I can’t decide.