It’s not enough that HBO filmed a biopic about his fall from grace or that he appeared on Divorce Court to talk about not getting divorced. Now Ted Haggard and wife Gayle secured book deals for themselves so they can taunt America with his tales of being a recovering homosexual.
How do we know all this? Because Haggard is Twittering up a storm: “My literary agent has an agreement done for me and Gayle. Agent at Jan Miller at Miller/DuPree,” which was followed minutes later with, “My guess is that you will see books by both of us by the end of the year or early next year.”
Hopefully there will be an entire chapter devoted to that house party he was throwing the other night, which he ducked away from to text and dial for Kris Allen. (He didn’t vote for Adam Lambert because, Haggard tweets, “Rick Bezet, Kris Allen’s pastor, and I have been friends for 30 years. Thus, Haggard support of Allen.”
In the meantime, Ted and Gayle find themselves almost ready to begin empty nesting: “Alex, our 18 yr old, is graduating from HS today and moving into apt tomorrow. He has his job, car, is accepted to college, etc. Good guy!” That leaves just 14-year-old Elliot living at home and suffering through dad and mom’s publicity nightmare.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Charles
What’s the title going to be?
I like to suck cock but you can’t!
My bible is my glory hole!
Comes with a removable center for those discreet moments of personal prayer!
My wife and her new Strap-on, feels like the first time!
Oh Happy Day I’m not gay!
He’s one of those creepy guys that just makes us all a little nervous cause he stands too close to you and before you know it he’s laying hands all in the name of the church and you got a dick in your mouth and being told your bad as he’s coming.
Andrew
@Charles: LOL. Especially the last line!
Strepsi
Alex, their 18 year old, will be thrilled when he returns home from college at Thanksgiving to find his bedroom converted to a guest room, and his bed has been replaced by a fisting sling…
Dennis
“Praise Jeebus..Male hookers, crystal meth sex binges, and me…Notes from a godforsaken hypocrite.”
Coming soon to a discount dustbin near you.
Prof. O. G. Whataschnozell
I had no idea this perverted Mr. Rodgers look-a-like had childern. Now I know why he and his “cover” wrote books. Have no doubt you are going to hear more of them.
After the Jim Baker/Jimmy Swaggart scandals public relations people have plenty of experience on how to revive the defrocked and it is working. You always keep your friends close (the church) and keep your enemies closer(gays). The more your enemies go after you the more your friends come to your rescue but always do something to keep your enemies riled so your friends wont turn on you.
Get it now?
Queerky
is Haggard the noun or the adjective?
dgz
a ted haggard book? should make for excellent kindling.
Joanaroo
Why is it when the Christers have a “fallen member” (Heh, heh!) among them of questionable fame-it’s always got to be dealt with by interviews, book deals, TV movies, feature films, ad nauseum? Just the level of entertainment we all want…NOT!
Duncan Behines
Dumb and Dumber = Ted Haggard and Gayle Haggard
schlukitz
Haggard was probably suffering from a “Fallen member” long before he bedded his first male partner.
Then again, only Gayle Haggard would have first-hand information about that. ;P
mikeandrewsdantescove
I still can’t believe Oprah allowed Ted Haggard on his show. His healing process is all but a joke.
Mike
http://theqtube.com/view/495/mike-andrews-dream/