“At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen. Things have changed and it’s no longer just about who has the most friends or who wears the coolest clothes. Sure, I’m not your typical prom queen candidate. There’s more to me than meets the eye.” Those are the words of 18-year-old gay Sergio Garcia, who fellow seniors crowned prom queen [LAT]
Jeff Chang
Good for him! As long as he’s motivated by a good cause and its not for attention then its all fine.
Only one thing… I saw that photo in the LA TIMES and at first I thought he was autistic.
cymatic
FiercĂŠ. That’s my new word and that kid is it.
mojojojo
he is quite a cutie just look at this video of him
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-video-fairfax-prom-queen,0,4267195.worldnowvideo
Thom Freeheart
What a great story.
Lucky Luke
Any chance they did it as a joke?
Southern Belle
Well my lord. They sure didn’t behave that way back when I was in high school.
alan brickman
how does this protect the masculine’s gays rights???….another self promoting queen….homophobes will love him….
Jeff Chang
Homophobes probably DO love him!
But’ truly I understand what Alan is talking about. While what he is doing is good, the teenager is also providing ammo for conservatives.
Case and point. I had a conversation with a conservative, Yes on 8, voter ad he argued that this was wrong because:
1. He is depriving females a chance to run.
2. He is a man and should follow traditional gender roles.
I just reminded the conservative that he was “attacking the democratic process”, voters in Ca have the right to take away others rights, and he won the election.
cymatic
@Jeff Chang: “Case and point.” I love eggcorns!
dgz
@alan brickman:
homophobes will hate us no matter who is voted prom queen; they shouldn’t be catered to out of fear.
La Roux
@alan brickman:
wtf?
ChristopherM
@alan brickman:
No matter how masculine you are, if you suck dick, homophobes see you as a sissy faggot. At least the strayt ones do. The gay homophobes like yourself are too busy putting down the people who have the balls to be themselves to see yourself for what you are.
Virilene
That’s right, poke the bear. However, while no girls appear to have run for prom king, apparently there was nothing stopping them from doing so either.
In any case, that child DOES have some balls, probably a helluva lot more than any of the boys running for prom king. And he’s cute.
Alec
Abolish prom. I attended five and pretty much loathed every one of them, at least the ones I was sober for.
@Virilene: In any case, that child DOES have some balls, probably a helluva lot more than any of the boys running for prom king.
No kidding.
Winter
Prom Queen? I see what they did thar.
Equal Measure
@alan brickman: Really, I agree. I don’t see how this does anything other than fly in the face of gender norms.
I mean, sure… being willfully iconoclastic can be used to positive political effect, but other than “wow he sure had balls” what does this do for him or the gay community in general other than reinforce stereotypes that a lot of gays find insulting?
Thor
“At one time, prom may have been a big popularity contest where the best-looking guy or girl were crowned king and queen”
What kind of alternate universe is he living in? Good for him, but most proms are still like that wish I went to his high school.
dgz
@Equal Measure: well, i had guess we’d better all start wearing flannel and dance like a wooden stick… wouldn’t want to perpetuate stereotypes.
Equal Measure
@dgz: Oh how witty. Your analogy would make a lot more sense if this were about something that was everyday behavior, but this isn’t that.
Either this is a statement, or the publicity stunt of someone who likes attention.
If it’s the first one, then what’s the statement, and how does it help anyone?
It it’s the second one, why should he deserve any congratulation?
Alec
@Equal Measure:
Well, it does diminish the emphasis on gender roles. I think that’s a good thing, overall.
Equal Measure
@Alec: That’s a good issue to bring up, but I’m not convinced that it does that. Combatting the gender binary is all very well and good, but I’d think this would just increase the misunderstanding regarding the differences between transgendered people and gay people.
Really, this doesn’t fight the barrier between the gender roles, it’s just a case of someone hopping the fence completely, so to speak.
Alec
@Equal Measure: Well, he doesn’t identify as transgendered. And transgendered itself has become a very flexible identity, encompassing far more than FTM and MTF identity.
Anyway, it seems harmless to me.
Equal Measure
@Alec: Well, I’m not implying that he’s taken on a female role and is therefore transgendered, I’m just saying that taking on the female role (which I would argue is the case here, since the queen/king is a definite gender dichotomy) isn’t exactly social androgyny.
But regardless, my problem with it boils down to the fact that it’s just another example of people patting a young gay guy on the back for exhibitionistic and attention-seeking behavior, even though there are a good number of gay people out there who find the whole “Queen” epithet to be pretty insulting.
Ian
@alan brickman: What’s the difference between you and those homophobes?
Asshole.
Equal Measure
@Ian: Alan’s acting against minimizing stereotypes, whereas homophobes bask in them. That’s a pretty big difference.
What about you, though? If someone disagrees with YOU they get slapped with a devil-term and called an asshole.
Sounds like you’re drawing parallels between homophobia and the wrong person, sir.
yeson8won
This poor, sad, confused kid needs a good talking to from his parents, if he has any. No chance of him joining the military on this evidence.
How long before teenage boys start wandering into the girl’s locker rooms and declaring “It’s ok I’m a girl today!”.
Jack
@Equal Measure:
“…there are a good number of gay people out there who find the whole “Queen” epithet to be pretty insulting.”
Yeah, but you know what? There are a lot of gays (‘queeny’ or not) who aren’t insulted by it in the least, who REFUSE to be insulted by it. These guys show a lot of personal strength of character and comfort with their gay identity that I can certainly respect and admire. Surely you don’t think that every individual act by a gay person has to be of benefit to the gay community, do you? Sometimes an individual expression is just that–individual. And that’s how this kid impresses me–as a strong individual.
But you know what else? Homophobes aren’t gonna regret spewing epithets or believing idiotic stereotypes just because gays find them insulting. In fact, it might just make the epithets and insults all the more fun. So butch up, sister.
Equal Measure
@Jack:
Refuse to be insulted by them? So by embracing the “idiotic stereotype” and parading it around you’re magically making it less demeaning? An idiotic stereotype is an idiotic stereotype, whether the person perpetuating it is gay or straight. If this was some straight kid doing it to buck the system as a joke, the gay community would be all over him in a heartbeat for being insulting/demeaning/homophobic.
If you’re going to admire him for having the guts to act like a gay caricature that’s your right, just as it’s his right to act that way. However, I’m secure enough in MY gay identity to know that I don’t have to define my lifestyle around the stereotypes that are foisted upon me, whether to combat them or otherwise.
dgz
@Equal Measure: i never congratulated him or decried his, er, coronation; i couldn’t begin to guess his motives. i just don’t think he should alter his behavior just because some of us think effeminate gays are somehow an institutional embarrassment. to my thinking, that smacks of misogyny or self-repression (depending on the individual). his acting campy doesn’t necessarily mean he’s giving into stereotypes; he might just naturally be that way, right?
Equal Measure
@dgz: Well, I’m not saying that he should be compelled to alter his behavior just because I think it might be idiotic, but at the same time I DO think that it’s idiotic.
I’d argue that misogyny doesn’t apply here, since he’s not actually a woman. If he were trans, that would open up a big can of worms, but as far as the report indicates, he’s just gay.
Also, he might not be giving into stereotypes as such, but I think it’s a little naive to think that he might “just be that way”. I mean, honestly. The emasculation of the gay stereotype isn’t exactly something that’s new, so it’s not like he’s living in a vacuum, unaffected by the fact that the dominant mainstream portrayal of gay people is of skinny and effeminate attention-seeking young men.
I don’t pretend to be able to read his mind, but I don’t find anything particularly laudable in this, and I don’t think that having this opinion is even remotely “catering to [homophobes] out of fear.”
dgz
@Equal Measure: i certainly wouldn’t argue that the stereotype doesn’t exist. but some gays just *are* effeminate. you and i both know guys who’ve always been that way. and while i’m no prom queen, i’m probably a wee bit more fem than you (and Lord knows i can’t ever seem to gain weight) — and not because of social pressure!
but when “emasculation” is used pejoratively in this case, it still triggers my misogyny thought. women don’t have to be involved, per se, as long as feminine is seen as inferior to masculine. and implying that just because he isn’t explicitly trans means that he should man-up… i think we’re beyond a check-box-A-or-B method of defining sexual and/or gender identity.
but i might have COMPLETELY misunderstood you, and you might be reacting more to the attention-seeking aspect. now, i’m not about to lob the “self-hater” epithet at ya ’cause i don’t know you, but i just get concerned when it looks like we gays start to eat our own just because some peeps don’t fit in some hetero-normative cookie-cutter.
Equal Measure
@dgz:
Well, basically I’m not effeminate, nor have I ever been, so the self-hating thing isn’t even remotely relevant to me, in this case. I really have no desire to act like any of the stereotypes, either naturally or in response to them. I know what I am and I know what I’m not.
While I’ll admit that there are people who ARE like that, and that they have every right to be able to act how they please, it’s aggrivating that this gets tagged as specifically gay behavior, becauseâas a cultural thingâit doesn’t actually have anything to do with being gay.
I think the actual term for that is genderqueer, but I might be misinformed on that one. I’m bad at keeping up with some of this jargon.
But unfortunately, both the mainstream and gay media outlets seem to focus on this very specific instantiation of gender nonconformity, which is all very well and good, but just because I’m a man who likes men doesn’t mean I (or any other gay man, for that matter) naturally have a desire to act like this guy. As such, anything that perpetuates this misconception gets under my skin, and (I think) justifiably so.
I don’t really have anything wrong with what this guy’s doneâexcept, perhaps, for the exhibitionistic nature of itâso much as I’m annoyed at the nature of the reporting of it. After all, it’s never a story about some kid questioning heteronormativity, or bucking the gender binary, it’s always played as, essentially, “Gay Kid Takes Rightful Place as Prom Queen.”
As though being gay is about acting like this.
I’m neither laughing, nor applauding.
dgz
@Equal Measure: cool. makes sense.
AlwaysGay
All you gay men that are cheering on this gay teen would never date him. Almost all gay men are attracted to MASCULINE men and there is a very good chance Sergio is too. The question is why do gay men encourage effeminacy when they are not attracted to it?
Mike Alvear looks into it.
http://www.mikealvear.com/2009/05/05/why-arent-nelly-guys-attracted-to-each-other/
Windyloo
Well, ALWAYsGAY, I agree with you that there is a lot of harsh treatment of feminine men in the gay community as well as in the larger society. That needs to be examined and I do believe it has to do with misogyny and a lot of fear about being viewed as “less than masculine” if associated with this stereotype.
However, a lot of people, this young man included, actually are just that way and I am pround of him (Adam Lambert or his maybe former boyfriend “cheeks” or whomever) for embracing that. As a feminist, I am certainly happy when gay men defend those who do not fit in the gender box. Why should he not be however he wants to be? What is wrong with attention seeking?
Saying he should “man-up” so some others can be freed form a stereotype is as rediculous as saying that I should stop wearing comfortable shoes and men’s jeans, having short hair and big opinions just becuase it fits a negative stereotype of a feminist woman.
Finally, in my experience lesbian women don’t have anywhere near the problem with butch women as gay men have with fem men. To me this clearly shows that traditional power relations in the realm of gender clearly is playing a role here.
AlwaysGay
@Windyloo: No, it’s not misogyny. Gay men are attracted to men. If gay men don’t find characteristic attractive that are typically expressed in women than that’s fine. Gay men have always been attracted to masculine men.
Djam
@AlwaysGay: Well I think it’s sad that you think there is only value in what you personally find attractive.
Cool to be femme. Cool to be butch. Or anything in between.
AlanInSLC
I think anyone who is themself (by not putting on a front) and is willing to never compromise that deserves to be recognized for that. Too often these days people feel they need to dictate how everyone else is able to portray themselves, while at the same time ignoring their own opinions and acting out in unnecessary and negative ways. This boy was courageous enough to not give a rats ass what anyone else thought and people recognized that and praised him for it. Anyone who feels they need to slam the boy is obviously jealous that they themselves aren’t strong enough to stand up and be themselves. It is within the diversity and uniqueness of being an individual that makes some people so special. The world needs more people to stand up and be different without feeling they have to hold back their true nature. Its what makes life more interesting and entertaining. You go girl!
Windyloo
There is a distinction between being attracted to males and being attracted to masculinity. I happen to find the combination of both very sexy. So I find a famale body under a more masculine surface hot and a male body under a more feminine surface hot. I also find androgyny very hot. So for me the people who blur the lines are very sexy. I am proud that more people are willing to play around with the gray areas around all of these boxes we have had to live inside for so long. After all, haven’t many of us been fighting for the right to individual self-expression for a really long time?
That doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with people who are masculine males or feminine females of course. I just wish there wasn’t so much animosity directed at males who do not fit the hegemonically masculine ideal. And I really don’t get why some men (gay or straight) find these guys to be such a threat.
Equal Measure
@Windyloo: A lot of harsh treatment of feminine men in the gay community? In my experience the feminine men are practically the face of the gay community, at least as far as both gay and straight media are concerned. Sure, they may be a vocal minority, but being called self-hating by supposedly open minded people because you dare to actually enjoy your gender gets old after a while. Regardless of which side people are on, in this gay/straight divide, the people who don’t clearly fit the taxonomy sure seem to catch a lot of flak from those who do.
@Djam: He didn’t say that there is only value in what he personally finds attractive at all. In fact, as far as I can see, he isn’t making any value judgment at all.
@AlanInSLC: Frankly, the “not putting up a front” thingâwhile pithyâis a little silly, since we are always exerting control over our behaviors. Everyone acts differently around specific groups people as a means of directed expression, regardless of what the message ultimately is. With one breath you’re lauding him for being “himself” and with another you’re saying that the people who disagree with the perpetual lionization of effeminate men are only disagreeing because “aren’t strong enough to stand up and be themselves.” Who are you to judge what someone’s “true nature” actually is?
dgz
@Windyloo: i’m totally with you, windyloo.
@AlwaysGay: well, i don’t think that we “encourage” effeminacy, as much as rabidly protect the effeminate. Equal Measure’s point (i think) is that hets use fems (and butch lesbians) as stereotypical, minstelly gays.
but butch gays and femme lesbians are always “better” in het eyes, and we’re constantly told that. e.g. Will > Jack. and i don’t buy your argument that masculine is better just because a lot of guys are attracted to that. little black girls prefered little white dolls at one time, too.
Equal Measure
@dgz: Well, it’s not just straight people who use the stereotypes. There seems to be this mentality among some gays (especially young ones) that acting “gayer” is always better. Personally I think it’s part of the stigma of the closet, since there’s so much of a connection between pretending to be straight and being self hating. But really, there shouldn’t be such a thing as acting “gay” to begin with. Being gay is about attraction, not about how feminine or masculine you are.
Your sexuality isn’t the thing that dictates everything about who you are and how you act, and the idea that it shouldâwhether it comes from outside the gay community or from withinâis harmful, in my opinion.
Also, if you’re going to look at Will and Grace, you might as well look at things like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, too. I’d argue that there are far more portrayals of gay people as being sassy effeminate boys who are obsessed with fashion than there are examples of the Will>Jack phenomenon.
Marc
My comment is No Comment.
Seen as how over at Toweleroad I get assfucked for asking why he wanted to be prom queen instead of king.
No one seemed to help me understand this guy and got called a fag.
Thanks brothers and sisters.
…no comment.
AlwaysGay
@Equal Measure: You are totally right. Many effeminate gay men believe effeminacy is the only way a gay man can truly behave while at the same time worshipping heterosexual males because they are masculine.
yeson8won
@AlwaysGay: In summary – homosexuals are all hopelessly confused by definition.
They can only make sense of their sad existences by standing logic on it’s head.
This poor confused teenager is a good example. His parents need to tell him to pull himself together and start behaving like a man, not a nancy-boy girlie-man.
Alec
@yeson8won: We should all just be civilly committed to help with our “confusion” no doubt.
You’re a piece of work. Homosexuality, whether you like it or not, is not classified as a disorder, and it isn’t a crime. Nor is atypical gender behavior. Perhaps you’d be happier in the remaining parts of the world that consider it to be.
dgz
@Alec: please, do not feed the trolls.
Alec
@dgz: Study breaks. Can’t be helped.
yeson8won
@Alec: Just because it is no longer classified as a disorder by the politically-correct APA doesn’t mean that homosexuality isn’t abnormal, nor that homosexuals don’t stand logic on its head.
Are you seriously suggesting that anyone should be able to choose what gender they are??
Should I be able to walk into the ladies locker room at the gym and say “Hi girls, don’t worry I’m a girlie today just like you!”.
Grow up and face reality.
Alec
@yeson8won: So you mean that because the experts disagree with you, they must be “politically-correct” and wrong?
I suppose evolution and physics are fair game, too.
Are you seriously suggesting that anyone should be able to choose what gender they are??
Sure, why not? What harm does it do to me? Also, what does this have to do with homosexuality?
Should I be able to walk into the ladies locker room at the gym and say “Hi girls, don’t worry I’m a girlie today just like you!”.
Again, this isn’t related at all. I don’t think this kid was using the women’s restroom.
Grow up and face reality.
I’m not the one denying the medical profession’s evaluation of homosexuality or gender identity disorder. That’d be you.
AlwaysGay
@yeson8won: Heterosexuals are the confused ones. Stop acting gay.
Inukumaru
This gay novel has pretty extreme views about religion and being gay all done in a sci-fi style sory, the writer was even almost killed when this book was first published. After being banned in his own country it is now available.
check the plot – As predicted by Isaac Newton the second coming happened and as the world waited to see what was about to happen an appointed man was sent to meet God, hours later God had vanished and the man came out immortal; no apocalypse, no destruction and no salvation. This gave birth to a chain of holy wars that almost chattered Earth’s civilizations and so giving birth to a mass colonization of planets to ensure peace by separation. Thousands of years later all was at peace by until Endings were born; humans connected to their planets in such a way that they are capable of destroying them should they wish it. Now Earth’s Ending has been born and the day to pass judgment draws near.
it can be found here
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/sodoms-x–a-song-for-the-end-/7182389
Apart from that it is very hard to find
alejandro
i saw the video and good for him đ
Alec
@Inukumaru: Are you paid by the post?
christophe
LEAVE the antigay troll alone, then he will go away
schlukitz
@christophe:
Unfortunately NOT.
He is tireless and loves the sound of his own voice, apparently.
Either that, or he has no friends and is very, very lonely.
So sad that he does not seem to have a life of his own to enjoy and has to resort to coming into a queer room to get his kicks.
Guess his mother didn’t breast feed him when he was a baby.
schlukitz
@Alec:
This site sure does seem to attract the dingbats, no? ;P