german-spies-crop-160

You’re going about your business, spying in Kosovo for the German government, and cheating on your wife with your male translator. And your wife has the audacity to expose you?!

Identified only as Anton K. (not pictured), the former soldier is standing trial for allegedly giving his Macedonian translator Murat A. — who he was sleeping with — access to classified documents on his Kosovo mission. And prosecutors contend the translator was going to give those documents to foreign governments or the mob! And it wouldn’t gone off smoothly, had it not been for the nosy wife infringing on the spy’s lurid gay affair.

The alleged security breach only emerged when the spy’s wife discovered he had change his life insurance policy, replacing her name with his interpreter’s as the beneficiary.

She stormed into the headquarters of the BND to tell them and the agency in turn alerted prosecutors. The two men were arrested after being summoned back to Germany in March last year.

Naturally, there’s the “we are so not gay!” defense — which better be really good, because both men face 10 years in jail:

Defence lawyers deny the charges, arguing the two men are victims of a homophobic witch-hunt within the BND [Bundesnachrichtendienst, or German secret service], which has been deeply embarrassed by the affair, not least because it gave the interpreter security clearance.

But hey, this is all par for the course for Germany’s embarrassment-plagued spying agency:

In 2007 a small bomb exploded on the doorstep of the European mission in Pristina. Three German agents were ordered to inspect the damage and hurried to the spot to take photographs — but were promptly arrested on suspicion of having placed the bomb themselves. They were freed later, but not before their names and pictures had been publicised widely, destroying a network of local informers.

Now if Anton K. needs a safe house, we’ve got some ideas.

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated