I’m guessing the beach house from last episode’s vacation existed in a parallel reality, because this week everyone seems pretty chill with each other. Honestly, watching these characters work maturely through their conflicts would be more unbelievable than watching them walk through a wormhole into a different universe, so I’ll accept it. In addition to eliminating interpersonal strife, this alternate dimension allows Adam to book a Broadway show despite his scant professional experience and obvious psychological imbalances. They celebrate by paying him zero attention: every girl for herself.
Emotional Age: 25
I’m giving Hannah a break this week and letting her be who she is. The place she’s hit is about right for someone three years out of college. Her tone-deaf read on every single situation is as repellent as ever, but on the other hand she’s stable enough to hold down a high-paying job, invested enough to share her fancy hotel swag with her boyfriend, and intelligent enough to take every god damned word out of Patti LuPone’s mouth as gospel. I wasn’t inviting my friends to swanky parties in free hotel rooms at her age.
Also, she barely looked at herself in the mirror while she was comforting Marnie, which shows such growth.
Emotional Age: 42
Marn is heading into Real Housewives territory this week. When she gets dumped, she puts as much care into her delivery of “I don’t care” as is humanly possible. She uses pizza as a dramatic punctuation of her entrance to the party and then promptly as a breakdown. Best of all, she rekindles her potential singing career, albeit with more subtlety than she’s ever previously mustered and with more actual vocal talent than all the previous real housewives combined.
Emotional Age: 10
She knows not to let strangers into the house when she’s home alone. She acts like a coke head even though she’s never touched the stuff, not counting the accidental crack in season one. She fangirls hard over a One Tree Hill guest star. You probably babysat this kid in high school.
Emotional Age: ???
Since she had a legit relapse, which is legit sad, I’m going to give Jessa a break this time around and not mock her for her misdeeds. After all, she started out strong, recognizing the positive value of unrestricted playfulness and holding strong, however temporarily, against her old “friend” from the facility. Let’s hope that next time she goes to rehab (if she’s lucky enough to get a next time), she can keep her face out of her roommate’s crotch long enough to get better for good.