The bad news: It’s only because science says masturbating may help you produce babies while have heterosexual sex, so sorry gays, no church-sanctioned beating off for you.
The Good News: Masturbation Fits In Nicely With Catholicism
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7SK
Well, if we were to start listening to the church, we’d all have to kill ourselves and join our evil Sodomite brothers in Satan’s terrible kingdom now, wouldn’t we?
daftpunkydavid
there is no bad news: heterosexual sex doesnt make one less gay!! if gay men wanna make babies with women (regardless of the orientation of the latter), then go for it! won’t make you less gay in the least!
and since when does fertilization require heterosexual sex, as you claim queerty??
D-Sun
Well then, it’s a good thing I don’t care what any church has to say about anything at any time.
MiKem
I have only one question…. will I still go blind?
me
i have been a catholic since the moment dad came but i fapped even back when it wasn’t cool
Marius
@MiKem:
Yes you will and double blind if you are a gay priest.
Papal Bull
Old whores never die, they just become born again.
DNK
At my Catholic church, I was taught at an early age that masturbation was quite the abomination, twisting the preciousness of love (or at least hetero post-marriage missionary sex) into a heinous, prideful, “I love me” act of defiance against God Himself. See, religion isn’t all bad; if we didn’t have it, all those therapists would be out of a job.
TANK
TFB!
galefan2004
Funny how the one agency that is most responsible for all the poverty in this world (men and women having babies even when they can’t afford them because the church says that is the goal) gets to tell us when its ok to jack off. Fuck the Catholic church.
schlukitz
I just did it until I needed a diopter strength of +3.25.
What I can’t see, I can feel my way around for. ;P
God works in strange ways, his wonders to perform. LOL