The Master Plan to Steal Gay Equality From Liberals and Make it a Conservative Cause Célèbre

It’s not just Dick and Liz Cheney trying to court gays to the conservative movement with things like publicly supporting gay marriage and telling the government to get out of the bedroom. Bloggers are doing it too! And not just the Gay Patriots and Independent Gay Forums.

Until recently we didn’t know about Cynthia Yockey, the lesbian 56-year-old former liberal who now “rejects theories of anthropogenic climate change because we are so totally NOT more influential on the climate than the sun, sunspots, the ocean and ocean currents.” Moreover, she’s “more than a little embarrassed that my liberal views were transformed into conservative ones by repeated encounters with facts and math.” Fun!

Also fun: Cynthia’s theory on how to really develop a grassroots conservative base that lives on the Internet, in some sort of Second Life meets Blogger.com scenario. As you know, we love roadmaps and blueprints, and Cynthia offers us one. She writes in the very straightforward “How to grab the gay equality issue from the Left”:

I have a proposal for attracting to conservatism a demographic that’s up-for-grabs. There are three blog publishers who are in a position to do this. Each one could do it alone, but it will make a bigger impact if they hold hands and make the leap of faith together.

My proposal is that at least one publisher of a conservative group blog make their blog a conservative-gay-friendly space by doing the following:

1. Publishing columns that are in favor of homosexual equality by authors who make their case in terms of the values of conservatives, such as liberty, the Constitution, capitalism, strengthening marriage and the family, and so on.
2. Refusing to publish any column, podcast, radio show or TV show expressing opposition to equality for homosexuals.
3. Allowing debate on the merits of homosexual equality in the comments on each piece, but setting a high standard for approving comments by refusing to publish any that are rude or include personal attacks or name-calling.

She goes on to talk about how her plan isn’t one of censorship (okay), but the important part here is how she’s going to steal LGBT equality as a left-y issue and make it a conservative one.

Lesbians and gays act like battered wives and refuse to leave their abusers because they don’t have any safe place to go. They don’t know that fiscal conservatism is an option as their new home. They don’t know how much the Leftist mainstream media and blogosphere lie to them to keep them in the fold. And all they see of conservatism is social conservatives who demonize them.

But social conservatives do not own every square inch of the conservative movement. And welcoming lesbians and gays does not mean the loss of religion, God and good values. After all, one of the first organizations founded at the dawn of the gay rights movement was the Metropolitan Community Church. And the aspirations of lesbians and gays for equality are noble ones: to marry, to create a family through adoption, and to serve their country in the military with exactly the same openness about their sexual orientation that straights have, along with the same duties.

Finally, setting this policy will take from the Left one of its favorite accusations against conservatives of bigotry. It also will expose the Left’s fraudulent tolerance and real abuse and exploitation of homosexuals. Imagine the contortions of deception that Obama and the Democrats will be forced into in order to halt the stampede of their gay cash cows! Obama might even have to keep a promise!!!!!11!!!!1!!!! Seriously, isn’t it worth doing for that alone?

Sadly, yes, and that is all we have to say.