The Mormon Church’s Helpful New Sidewalk Rules for Adults Who Want to Make Out


When Matt Aune and Derek Jones were detained, and cited for trespassing, in July for kissing(!) on a pathway owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a whole helluva lot of controversy was started over whether the men were targeted because they were gay, which, duh, LDS doesn’t appreciate. So how to keep future homo scofflaws off church property? Erect a sign!

Along Salt Lake City’s Main Street Plaza, visitors will begin seeing signs like the above, reminding visitors they are on church property. And everyone from City Prosecutor Sim Gill (who opted not to charge Aune and Jones) to the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah is pleased with the move, since it’ll provide clarity to passersby.

But the church still allows pedestrians on the pathway, and does not explicitly state what the rules are when on church property. But yeah, probably none of this.