The National Review Has a Gay Panic

How many The National Review editors does it take to type up a disingenuous “gays are gonna getchya” op-ed? The answer is “all of them” as evidenced by the editorial board’s latest unintentionally hilarious opus, “Legislating Immorality“, which includes such hellacious assertions as:

“Gay activists are already using the legal system to try to revoke the tax-exempt status of the Mormon church. If you believe that churches and synagogues, priests and rabbis won’t eventually be sued for their statements on sexuality, you’re kidding yourself.”

You see, the fight for marriage equality is really a Trojan horse that will allow all the gays to install an Orwellian thought police state where everyone will have to love and obey our super gay beliefs.  We will replace the Ave Maria with Bette Davis’ performance of “I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy” from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and order the holy host to be served with a lime-jicama slaw crudite.

Think I’m exaggerating? Try this:

“Churches oppose same-sex marriage in part because it represents an implicit threat to freedom of conscience and belief. California already had one of the broadest civil-unions laws in the country. There was little in the way of government-sanctioned privileges that a state-issued marriage license would confer. But the drive for same-sex marriage is in practice about legislating moral conformity – demanding that everybody recognize homosexual relationships in the same way, regardless of their own beliefs. Freedom of conscience, or diversity of belief, is the last thing the homosexual lobby will tolerate…”

Get that? Because the idea of states recognizing same-sex equality might make religious zealots feel bad about themselves, it ought to be outlawed. “Freedom of conscience” is about the dumbest thing we’ve heard from Prop 8. supporters yet. Is this really the best the far-right can do? Nobody is demanding that “everybody” recognize same-sex marriage, just the state. The Catholic Church opposes marrying divorced couples, but that’s their right. Unitarian Universalist, Metropolitan Community Church, Quakers, and Reform Jews all recognize gay marriage as a sacrament and that’s their right as well.  That is real “diversity of belief”.

But marriage as defined by the state, does not belong to the Mormon Church, or the Catholic Church or the Quakers. It belongs to all Americans, regardless of faith, and therefore must be available to all Americans.

But wait, The National Review isn’t done, yet. Not when there’s legal battles afoot:

“Given their cavalier disregard for the freedom of conscience, it’s little surprise that the gay lobby is equally disdainful of democracy: They began pursuing legal challenges to Proposition 8 practically before they were done tallying the votes.”

Since when has addressing your grievances in the public court of law made you “disdainful of democracy”? It’s like The National Review doesn’t even have a fundamental grasp on how American democrcay works. If only their parents had spent less time screening Triumph of Will to them as children and instead sat them down for some hippie-free lovin’ Schoolhouse Rock: