The Popes Agree To Hate Your Marriage

The great thing about having a pope and a pope emeritus is that the Vatican can double the hatred. In an unprecedented joint document —unprecendented because the predecessor is usually dead — Pope Francis and the retired Pope Benedict XVI have co-written a religious text that insists marriage “should be a stable union of man and woman.”

Benedict had almost finished penning the 82-page poem to homophobia before stepping down from office. His inability to meet a deadline meant that Pope Francis could join in the celebration of anything that is not gay.

“This union is born of their love, as a sign and presence of God’s own love, and of the acknowledgment and acceptance of the goodness of sexual differentiation,” reads the text.

Just to add a little more spice to the antigay stew, the Vatican is moving closer to declaring John Paul II a saint. The Church has attributed a second miracle to him, a key step in the move toward sainthood. This is the same John Paul II who wondered if gay rights “is not perhaps part of a new ideology of evil, perhaps more insidious and hidden, which attempts to pit human rights against the family and against man.” Which gives you some sense of what the Vatican considers to be holy.

Photo Credit: Osservatore Romano