If Joy Silver‘s our wise gay grandmother, Jono‘s our wise-ass uncle.
We’ve known the PR-cum-event-production-guru since we were but mere faglings, tottering about in our training heels. Luckily, Jono took us under his homo-wing, sharing with us his…shall we say “unique” view of the world…
When he’s not organizing parties for Kanye West and Isaac Mizrahi or wrangling press for the likes of photographer Timothy Greenfield Sanders, Jono jets off to Australia, where he did some time a-learnin’ and a-teachin’ at Sydney University.
While you may recognize him as a talking-head on VH1’s Fabulous Life, he’s taken some time from his current Austalian jaunt to offer his thoughts on the state of the homo nation.
Listen up, kiddies, because it’s a very important message. And when we say important, we mean the spot-on rantings of a bitter fag (don’t be fooled by the cheery picture).
Just because you’re gay doesn’t make you interesting. It doesn’t make you creative. And lord knows it doesn’t make you a great conversationalist. It means you suck dick.
There, I said it.
There seems to be this obtuse myth that guys have fallen for that they’re remarkable just because the like cock. It probably started when their parents told them all they were “special” just because they were different. Yeah, right.
Special is as special does. Interesting is as interesting does. I am so bored with these gay guys who think they are “special” merely because they got out of bed one day and came out of the closet. We’re here! We’re queer! And we’re drinking Starbucks triple caramel lattes and wearing khaki Gap twills!
There used to be such an intense power within the community. Where did it come from? I don’t know. Maybe it built up through years of torment and mainstream banishment. Maybe it was because only the strongest, bravest, and cleverest of boys could move beyond the closet. Maybe this power sprang from the culture-at-large: a culture that consistently pummeled and excluded the gays, forcing us to turn inward, where we discovered hidden talents.
Regardless of their origins, these hidden talents often manifested themselves in the intellectual and creative spheres that continue to resonate throughout our world. Giants like Truman Capote and James Baldwin yielded unmitigated power through the pen. Oscar Wilde could slit your throat with wit and intellectual ridicule. And all would kneel before Quentin Crisp: a queen worthy of that title and rank. Now these were gays!
Gays weren’t just sucking dick. Sure they did that, but it wasn’t all they were doing and it certainly wasn’t what defined them as being gay.
Now calm down. Yes, there are all sorts of gay guys out there who are interesting, who are creative and who can carry a great conversation. So don’t get your panties in a knot if you fall into this category. I’m sure you are the most interesting person you know, maybe even the most interesting person I know – I live in Chelsea.
The trouble is this tidal wave of gays who have circuit partied their way onto the lavender stage and clamed the homo mantel as their own. We need our own film, a film like An Inconvenient Truth that shows the slow encroachment of the middle-of-the-road gay and how we were asleep at the wheel when they devastated the planet through banal conversations about DJ’s and gym routines.
Seeing the world is more than getting on the gay Greyhound tour of circuit parties and gay bars. Put down the US Weekly kids and pick up something written above the third grade level (no, really, because I need someone to talk to).
The buck stops here.
Every gay must question his gayness not by who they are sleeping with, but what are they doing to contribute to the long history of out-of-the-ordinary, intelligent, creative and fascinating queers. By doing so, our generation will bring a new power to the poof that has been dwindling since the 1990’s, making us all worthy of the title “gay”.