A new book that’s making waves in the Arab world comes from author Wedad Lootah, a Muslim who wears a full-length black niqab — and counsels couples on sex. What’s this? A Muslim woman who talks openly about how ladies can enjoy intercourse with their husbands? Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples probably doesn’t say much more than the book Americans grew up on (The Joy of Sex), but for the United Arab Emirates, the tome is capital-C Controversial, since women 1) aren’t supposed to speak out of turn; and 2) are certainly not supposed to speak so openly about intercourse. But for all the liberating sexual advice included in the book, the one thing Lootah doesn’t approve of is anal sex.
“One of the themes of her book is the danger of anal sex and homosexuality generally, not because of AIDS but because they are banned by the Koran,” reports the NYT.
Since plenty of men have their first sexual experiences with other dudes (courtesy the strict separation of the sexes until married life), Lootah warns those men expect the same thing once the knot is tied. “Many men who had anal sex with men before marriage want the same thing with their wives, because they don’t know anything else,” she says. “This is one reason we need sex education in our schools.”
Of course Lootah ignores one other theory: That gay men who marry women because the alternative (being openly gay) would get them killed want to have anal sex because it feels right.
How about we take this to the next level?
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sioraiocht
> Of course Lootah ignores one other theory: That gay men who marry women because the alternative (being openly gay) would get them killed want to have anal sex because it feels right.
That theory sounds like total bollocks, to me.
bodetta vendetta
speaking as a large black woman, i love anal sex, just not in my butt. unless i am getting paid for it.
Cam
@sioraiocht: You said “No. 1 · sioraiocht
> Of course Lootah ignores one other theory: That gay men who marry women because the alternative (being openly gay) would get them killed want to have anal sex because it feels right.
That theory sounds like total bollocks, to me.”
_____________________________________________________________
What, are you pretending not to believe that gays are persecuted in the Middle East? Or are you pretending that people don’t like Anal sex? Read any hetro mag and most of the stories are about guys trying to get their girlfriends to do that, so I’d have to say you’re wrong on both counts.
sioraiocht
@Cam: My issue is that being gay means anal sex feels right. Lots of straight people enjoy anal sex, and lots of gay people don’t. People’s sexual practices aren’t isomorphic to their sexuality.
sioraiocht
Oops, I meant “being gay doesn’t mean that anal sex feels right”.
J.Lowrot
And just because I want to have anal sex with a man, doesn’t mean that I want to have anal sex with a woman. It’s not the anus that I’m into, it’s the man.
blake
@J.Lowrot:
This reminds me of the worst scenes in “Brokeback Mountain” when Heath Ledger’s character, Ennis, is forcing his wife to have anal sex even though she doesn’t like. Ennis came off as an abusive jerk.
I was very happy when Michelle Williams’ character found the strength to kick Ennis to the curb. Yeah, yeah Ennis had to marry a woman because of societal pressure. Whatever, that didn’t mean that he had to treat her like dirt.
galefan2004
I have to agree. Honestly, I here more about anal sex from the straight people in my life than I ever have the gay ones. Not to say I don’t like anal or that my gay friends don’t like anal though.
dgz
is anyone else seeing that “muslim matrimonial” banner ad? if only they knew who they were wasting their money on…
TANK
So, you don’t think that gay men who marry women find it easier to pretend that they’re with a man if they don’t engage in anal? Hmmmmmmmmm, interesting. Of course, not all gay men are into anal sex…of course, not all gay men are john wayne gacy, either.
TANK
As to this, what do you expect? These people (muslims) are virulently and violently homophobic…statistic after statistic bears this out. Of course there are some muslims who aren’t…but do they require lip service given the vast majority who are? I don’t think so. ANd for what purpose? To show how fair and open minded you are?
Mohamed
Nothing like “these people” to demonstrate how racist, and ignorant one can be…
And by the way some Muslims are gay, and not violent. I know that must be hard for you to comprehend, but all generalisations are self-fulfilling…
Tallskin
TANK _ LOL, didn’t think it’d be long before you were called racist!!!
I love the pic accompanying this article. I guess an islamic beauty contest would be based on eye makeup.
A whole load of the women lined up would look like a row of guiness bottles!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdNqUW5wwTE
TANK
@Mohamed:
Yes, racist…of course, because anyone who dares criticize the islamic treatment of women (there are youtube videos of MULLAHS who instruct muslims on how to beat their wives) is a racist. You PEOPLE tap western tolerance to criticize those who condemn islamic homophobia/sexism (often resulting in illegal behavior), while at the same time desiring to inflict sharia on everyone, destroying the very western religious tolerance that you use to insulate yourselves from criticism by screaming racism.
TANK
And no, I don’t excuse islam because there are a few non homophobic and progressive thinking muslims out there…or even gay muslims. I don’t excuse christianity because a few pastors say kind words about teh gays, either.
Dennis
This is so not PC, but c’mon, a sex therapist in a burka? That’s freakin hilarious…It’s like something from The Onion, or a skit from SNL.
Sorry, but every time I look at that picture, I crack up.
EvilMr.Rogers
@Dennis: its like a female ninja giving sex advice
KuntLover
Muhammed (PBUHN) loved anal sex… you can’t get any more offensive than that… I bet you before the day is over several hundred people will be dead because I wrote this statement here…
WTF?
@TANK: Funny how he never mentions about the jews! Is it because he is one? Oh, but they are beyond reproach–they allow their children to marry their same sex partners, are all for abortion, and, not to mention, equality of all sorts (even if videos and news of jews in Palestine say differently). And they never, never, practice terroristic methods in uprooting and anhilating a whole group of people from their own country with violence and manipualtion! Never!
@DENNIS: So, what is a sex-councelor’s outfit that would be deemed appropriate by moronic ditzy queens like you? It is an attire that is worn by women within HER cultural context. Why are you trying to impose your values on her and her culture?
TANK
@WTF?:
There’s a reason you weren’t chosen, douchenozzle.
WTF?
If you meant chosen by the devil–yeah, thank goodness!
TANK
@WTF?:
By the devil? You’re just full of antisemitism and superstition, aren’t you. Blow yourself.
WTF?
Was wondering when that antisemitic card was going to be pulled out? And sure enough, it didn’t take long! And yet, you on these pages, and your kind, are always criticizing and putting down other faiths and races, like the Christians, the Muslims, the blacks, and everyone else. Manipulation and stark lies–must be a great combination!
TANK
@WTF?:
Yeah, that combination is how we control the international banking system and media. Don’t you have a white power rally to attend or, perhaps, a farrakhan pep rally?
WTF?
No, but I am sure you will be attending the netanyahu seminar on new manipulation techniques to stop the truth.
TANK
@WTF?:
As will you the holocaust denial seminar in Iran hosted by that election stealing pig, ahmadinejad.
WTF?
@TANK: How much longer must we endure your people’s manipulation with the holocaust? It happened A LONG TIME AGO! We rescued your asses–now move on! And funny how you guys talk about how your people were almost anhilated by the Germans, but here you are trying to do the same to the Muslims in Palestine! Ironic? Nah! Once again a clear manipulative justification! Oh, and for your all-loving and equitable jewish ways, why don’t you want the gypsies, the gays, and the other groups that died in the holocaust, represented in the museum?
TANK
Because gypsies are dirty. DUH! And gays…well, it’s just not something you wanna broadcast…keep it to yourself kinda thing. By that token, slavery happened a LOOOOOOONG time ago, too. And sorry, you can’t compare the holocaust to israel’s treatment of palestinians (who themselves are led by a terrorist organization and have perpetuated acts of domestic terrorism). ANtisemitic hyperbole is nothing new, though. Apples and oranges.
Have you ever been to museum btw? As roma gypsies and homosexuals are represented there for all to see. But, then again, my people were slaughtered at about one million more than all others combined. Sorry, the twentieth century holocaust is ours.
WTF?
Except blacks are still treated adversely by the likes of you. Your people, on the other hand, are using your “long ago” persecution to attain maximum advantage.
TANK
@WTF?:
Really? Are you accusing me of racism? Afrolito, is that you?
Mjay
First of all, I wanna say that I lived in UAE for a while and its a great and ,at the same time, an awful place for homosexuals. At many schools kids practice homosexuality a lotttt!
At the same time being gay there is condemned by the law. As for the community, although they never admit it , they think that being a top”positive” is manly and will never get the same stigma that is associated with being a bottom.
In short words, muslims are hypocrites, because they apply Islamwhenever they want or feel comfortable.
Btw in UAE most women even native emirati women don’t were burqa, they rather wear a non islamic style head scarf that shows hair with make up and perfume.
@Tank I know Arabs are not angels but I still don’t understand why you could attack or criticize anyone but when they fight back you(the jewish people) go for the Iran crap and the anti-semitism bs. I think anti-semitism is anti democracy and anti-freedom of speech. “My baby daughter was killed by the israelis.”” Shut up you anti-semite!!!” .The holocaust doesn’t justify badmouthing and man-slaughter.
That being said, I don’t feel bad for muslims in Palestine because they love their bloody abrahamic religion and 60 years ago they met their peer, judaism, another bloody abrahamic children- killing land-seizing religion.