SHORE THING

The Situation Is Going To “Rip Snooki And JWoww A New One” For Calling Him Gay

There are a number of ways for a celebrity to respond to gay rumors and it looks like The Situation has chosen to go with “angry denial.”

Mike Sorrentino’s Jersy Shore castmates Snooki and JWoww gave an interview to the Huffington Post recently, in which Snooki proclaimed she’s bisexual and they both indicated The Sitch might be gay after all.

After calling Mike’s posture and the way he holds his ciga\rettes effeminate, JWoww said of his sexuality: “I can’t confirm or deny with Mike, but if he was [gay], it would all make sense.”

Today, a source has told Chicago Sun-Times gossip columnist Bill Zwecker that the Situation is “extremely upset” with the Snooks and JWoww.

“Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one,” the source said. Interesting way to phrase it. The Situation’s apparently worried that these rumors “could hurt his brand marketing efforts, which are very much focused on straight male customers.”

Note to The Situation: Your brand appeals to body-obsessed gay men way more than straight dudes.

The gay-sanctioned Way To Deal With Gay Rumors: be playful and say you might be a little gay  or that you’re flattered. Works for Tom Hardy, Daniel Radcliffe and James Franco.

Photo: Village Voice

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22 Comments

  • Randile

    Me think the man doth protest too much and too loudly. Way to volitile of a response to be a “groundless” comment, unless he is just proving his homophobic ignorance.

  • Franco

    is it a surprise, or news-worthy to anyone on the jersey shore cast is homophobic? they’re not exactly the smartest people in the world.

  • Cam

    Gee, the guy who continually talks and talks and talks about women, yet has never had a girlfriend and finds excuses not to hook up with women…might be gay?

    His protests would be more believable if he smiled and laughed it off.

  • NateB79

    Did he pull the dick out of his mouth to make these statements, or did he just sort of mumble around them?

  • divkid

    if you swapped their heads and body parts around, sure, you could come up with something serviceable, but not nearly satisfactory imho.

  • christopher di spirito

    I can’t believe this trainwreck reality show draws 9 million viewers a week.

  • danio

    The fact that people even watch this show just shows how america has become one giant toilet.

    And “The Masturbation” is gay

  • bryan

    @Cam:
    maybe its because he has a super tiny weenie

  • becka

    @christopher di spirito:
    I know right. We should tell them that there is a really good reality show in the sun. That way they could stare at the sun all day.

  • Oh, ok.

    I like to combat “false” accusations about my sexuality by tearing women a new one. Nothing says “I’m not gay!” like getting in a cat fight with women.

    A lot easier than actually dating one when I could be spending more time staring at myself and other guys in the mirror.

  • jason

    Snooki and JWoww are not gay-friendly. I read their interview on HuffPost and it’s a classic case of “straight girls saying they’ve experimented with women for the benefit of the sleazy straight guy fantasy”. Don’t fall for it.

    I’m really disappointed in HuffPost for putting this fake gay advocacy under their Gay Voices section. It’s an insult.

    Don’t try complaining about it because HuffPost is known to censor comments on its message board.

  • wc1

    Which one is “the Sitch?

    Could that mag cover be any more photoshopped?

    I just saw some pics on TMZ or some such showing one of their potbellies.

  • Cam

    @Oh, ok.:

    LOL!!!! You and I disagree on here a lot, but you NAILED it with that comment!

  • tj

    The show is so fake… I don’t think the not hooking up thing is about being gay I think he has a long term relationship with a woman but doesn’t want to hurt his brand.

  • awesome.

    The situation is about as gay as my fart.

    Vinnie on the other hand…hmmmm.

  • Oh, ok.

    @awesome.: I guess you fart peppermint scented rainbows and glitter then.

  • MKe

    S.T.A.G.E.D.

  • Donnie

    Maybe Snooki wants Smoosh Smoosh … seriously who are these people?

  • Cam

    The spooky thing about this show is their ages. I think several of the guys are over 30…what straight guys are still going to the Jersey Shore, hanging out with college kids, and acting like douchebags at that age?

  • MikeE

    @Cam: apparently guys who called themselves “The Situation”…

  • Zeus

    Lol does he not get that some gay men and guidos probably frequent the gym the same amount (gay guys even more, probably) and a lot of straight guys just don’t care as much?

  • truthy

    He is so gay. He is the very definition of gay in America. Obsessed with working out and tanning along with sleeping with as many women as possible to “prove” their not gay. He will sleep with anything! I think he will be the first on the show to test positive for HIV followed by Snooki then Vinny and Pauly.

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