friends + foes

The Straight Spouses You Tricked Into Marrying You (Might) Have Your Back


Think gay men and women who want to marry their partners, but can’t, have it bad? What about the straight men and women we’ve roped into marrying us so we can be “normal” and play house?

There’s a whole class of victims in the arena of gay marriage bans that haven’t been getting their due: the straight spouses who unknowingly wed a gay. You see, because we’re a country that discriminates against homos, same-sex loving Americans who want picket fences and 2.5 kids are practically forced into marrying someone of the opposite sex!

And wouldn’t you know it, there’s an entire support group for duped hetero spouses. New Jersey-based Straight Spouse Network has more than 50 chapters across the country to help straight husbands and wives cope with learning they married a homo. But rather than be spurned by our deception (and the knowledge we probably hated having sex with them), some of these breeder folks are turning into our allies — and attacking the same marriage discrimination laws we’ve been going after.

That’s because they’re “the unacknowledged victims of the victims of homophobia,” according to SSN’s Amity Pierce. (It’s unclear whether Jim McGreevey’s ex-wife has sought Pierce’s counsel.) This group sees anti-gay marriage laws as the reason gays feel forced to marry straights; if only they could get joint tax returns and shared health benefits in a gay marriage, they wouldn’t have to trick America’s heterosexuals into fake marriages.

But don’t get too overjoyed thinking the hetero members of “mixed-orientation” marriages suddenly want to be our BFFs: Plenty of them voted for Prop 8 just to spite you.