famewhoring

The True Story of 7 Gay Bloggers Who Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Real

What counts as drama on reality television? Running out of tequila, according to Jersey Shore. Faulty hair extensions, according to The Hills. Flavors in discord, according to Top Chef. But how about on a show featuring seven LGBT bloggers?

Having your laptop stripped away from you and being forced to share one computer!

ZOMG!

That’s the pitch from Xem Van Adams, who’s been working on a treatment for the past there months. Yes, really. And as much as we love this kid, and as much as we don’t want to shit on anyone’s master plan, The Blogger is going nowhere.

Reality shows about bloggers have been pitched to every network. Almost all of them were dead within weeks. E!, LOGO, MTV, and Bravo have all heard from wannabe showman with very similar ideas, but none of these pitches get made into a show. (We know this from first- and second-hand experience.) Namely, because bloggers are uninteresting. Take it from us: We are boring people. We barely make good web copy; we certainly don’t make good television.

And while Xem could fill a segment about cruising at America’s big box retailers, it’s foolish to think YouTube vloggers, gay or otherwise, can capture television audiences. Logging on to Facebook and uploading clips is not good television.

Well, aside from trans beauty B. Scott. That girl is addictive. And like Scott, the guys from the web series In The Loop make for good camera time not because they’re invested in some website, but because they’re engaging characters stirring up some shit.

“You think that millions won’t tune in to watch us on screen?,” asks Xem. “Please.” Well, because he said please, we’ll explain further: The only way you’re going to turn a reality show about queer bloggers into a success is to Real Housewives-it-up in a gross exploitation of gay drama. Xem describes The Blogger as “The Real World meets True Life.” But in the hands of skilled reality show producers, trust: The Blogger is going to be as terrible for gay Americans as Jersey Shore is for Italian-Americans.

But hey, prove us wrong. (And in the comments, tell Queerty who you’d want to see cast.)