water sports

The Unsolved Mystery Behind Jake Gyllenhall’s Bathroom Fan Photo Attack

At Friday’s premiere of Source Code in Austin at South By Southwest, Jake Gyllenhaal was supposedly in the bathroom when a fan tried to snap his picture while he was peeing. “Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?’” relayed Cinematical’s Erik Davis. Except if Gyllenhaal, who confirmed the incident, was “mid-stream” when the guy was trying to take his picture, and Jake grabbed him during the middle of it all, wouldn’t that mean that Jake would’ve turned around while still pissing and whizzed all over the guy? And wouldn’t that be the real headline here? “Jake Gyllenhaal Exposes Himself And Pisses All Over Photographer.” Probably more action right there than that movie he’s in.

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  • divkid

    omg! this story is comedy gold… and i’m gonna sprinkle it…

    the prince of pisss’yeah

    broke back fountain (as jack fuckin’ pist)

    um…no…run dry.

    (now wash hands)

  • Matt

    No public toilet fun for Gyllenhaal while on duty!

  • JJ

    I’m not hating (I actually like him) – but does anyone else notice he totally wears bronzer during public appearances?

  • Ken S

    Maybe he does tantric kegels or something so he can stop on a dime.

  • colly

    LOL, I can’t picture fragile little Jake doing that! Someone has seen too many of his action presona in movies that they keep trying to push.

  • j

    This photographer sounds like a creepy f**k. Why’s no one acknowledged that?

  • Jeffree

    Jake needs better security personnel so he can tinkle privately, away from the peeparazzi.

    @JJ: Half the guys in Hollywood wear bronzer, whether they’re actors or not. This trend only goes back to about 2001, so it ‘s still kinda new.

  • Soupy

    Supposedly, the “photographer” was a fellow cast member of his film. But not an important one.

  • christopher di spirito

    If Jakey wants privacy when he pees, maybe he should consider a stall and closing the door behind him and locking it?

  • Harbo

    Ahhh, the joys of being a celebrity. You can’t even piss in private. Jake, you can use my bathroom anytime!

  • Oprah

    Pee wee wee. Gross.

  • Elloreigh

    @j: Yeah, pretty appalling. It takes a special kind of sicko to think that it’s okay to snap a pic of a celebrity urinating.

  • Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)

    Hmm, this sounds exactly like what Ted was saying Toothy has began to do in earnest, have risky sex in public places.

    So Toothy, someone caught you and wanted to take a picture of you whilst you were getting dirty?

    Oh dear, better check the awful truth for an update!

  • alan brickman

    You never take photos like that..definately crossing the line…

  • James P. Perez

    IT WASN’T ME!!

    (that’s all i’m saying…)

  • Michael

    @JJ: ive seen him in nike, but not bronzer

  • Mal Tempo

    Jake has a penis!

Comments are closed.