SOUNDBITES — “Sometimes I think gay actors especially, the few of us that are openly gay maybe have a little extra to prove. I feel like things are changing though. … And also there’s a trend lately that’s a little bit disturbing to me, and that’s people speaking out and saying that it’s better for young gay actors to stay in the closet. … The whole Chris Colfer thing — these kids and they’re so young. I just never believe in outing people. I never believe in forcing them to do something until they’re ready. It’s nobody’s business. I don’t like all the blogs — it’s like this witch-hunt. Everybody has their own journey. Everybody has to do it in their own time. But that’s for the person to set, their own parameters.” —30 Rock‘s Cheyenne Jackson on the state of Hollywood outing (via)
cheyenne jackson
Mike in Asheville
There is also a disturbing trend to pounce on and besmirch gay/lesbian performers/actors/newscaster/public personalities who keep their private lives private. How many more times is Queerty going to scream at Anderson Cooper because, as out and about he is with his boyfriend, it is not enough since Cooper doesn’t make it the story of every newscast that he is gay? Or how many more times will there be posted a picture of Matt Bomer kissing a boy (or boyfriend) with the caption questioning whether Bomer is gay (since Bomer has failed to scream it out loud on every street corner)?
And then, when someone does make a splash about being out, come all the comments about s/he’s: too queer, too straight, too girly, too macho, too everything everyone else thinks is the right way to portray gay. Half of us fags love Adam Lambert while half hate him.
With the exception applying to hypocrites who rant against the abomination of homo sex to their masses while sneaking off to rest areas for a fuck-n-suck, how about the simple: Live and let live.
SteamPunk
“It’s nobody’s business. I don’t like all the blogs — it’s like this witch-hunt.”
It’s very interesting, Queerty, that you didn’t highlight that line instead. Particularly since you participate in the “Witch Hunt” so much on this very website 😉
Bayonet
Here we go again, queens defending the closet. Fuck u! These losers all need to come out.
Republican
@Mike in Asheville:
I disagree. My dislike of closet cases extends beyond the anti-gay hypocrites. It’s one thing to be like Jodie Foster and live a very private life except for your work. It’s another to be a closeted actor who has a fucking beard for the cameras. I have absolutely no respect for cowards like the latter and can’t wait until they are outed. With regard to the former, if they truly keep their lives private in general, then fine, but it bothers me to hear some closeted celebs talk about their families, what they ate for breakfast, etc., but not about the fact that they are gay. Anderson Cooper, as far as I know, isn’t like that, but I don’t watch him enough to know whether his sexual orientation is the only thing that’s really off limits.
I agree with Bayonet. It’s time to stop defending the closet, especially when it comes to celebrities.
rf
Any celebrity that doesn’t want their life scrutinized should immediately apply at Walmart for a stockperson job. Newsflash, you don’t get all that money for your acting ability, stupid.
scott ny'er
@SteamPunk: Agreed!!!
dontblamemeivotedforhillary
I think what happens, as in the case of Adam Lambert who was pretty openly gay before officially doing the legitimate ‘Rolling Stone’ confirmation, is that the media want you to be a political representative when he is a musician front-man. Rosie was taken down by the politics when she was “Out” off camera despite appeasing suburban housewives with her “Tommy can you hear me” flirtations to which she retorted “I just wanted him to mow my lawn” much in the same way that Flamboyant Gay men always proudly proclaim they would go straight for Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry. Ellen is the best case study of “How to Come Out” except she was dating a psycho at the time. On Oprah, Adam whispered to her about being openly gay, “It’s hard!” because the weight of the world, including scorn from homophobes including gays with internalized homophobia can appear to be like an angry lynch mob with pitchforks. One has to wonder, is it just religious homophobes who are against gay marriage, or does it sit well for those who like the cover of a beard, fake nose and a cigar so they can move between a real world and their imagined reality? Federal Marriage Equality recognition would give even gay celebrities the same legal protections that we don’t get.
Qjersey
I’ll be blunt and state the obvious (which applies to this blog as well).
It is VERY easy to be an evil bitter nasty degrading self-righteous judgmental twat, cunt, asshole, asshat, jerk, moron or idiot when posting comments on the Internet with the safety of anonymity.
Most of the people who post negative comments would not have the nerve to say such things face to face. Those who do are posting You Tube videos and auditioning for reality TV shows.
alan brickman
Cheyanne’s wife and child from that 911 disaster comment..How are they doing?…..
perhapsnot
Unfortunately we have no well known book authors who are known to be closeted, then I would be interested for the sake of something different.
Tired argument. Focus efforts where they matter like public policy.
Geoff M
@Bayonet: Amen
ossurworld
Some rights are inalienable, like the right to privacy.
rf
Everything in life is risk/reward. The rewards for being famous are tremendous, if you’re lucky enough to be the one they pick. But guess what? You don’t get that reward without the risk. No how, no way. Anyone who chooses to be in the public eye deserves almost anything they get (not physical harm of course). We’ve got 50+ years of knowing that the media and public will crucify you, follow you around, etc. This is not new. And yet, people still seek the reward. You don’t want people finding out you’re gay (or whatever else thing you’ve got in your closet)? Don’t go on TV, don’t stand on red carpets, don’t get photographed with Taylor Sw…oh, did I say that? Get over it people.
spindoc
No. 1 · Mike in Asheville
There is also a disturbing trend to pounce on and besmirch gay/lesbian performers/actors/newscaster/public personalities who keep their private lives private
______________________________________
Give me a break, there is a difference between a “Private Life” and being gay. There isn’t a straight actor ALIVE who hasn’t had a picture taken with their girlfriend, their wife, their husband etc… They are asked “Are you married?” or “Are you seeing somebody.” Photographs are taken of them leaving their dinner dates etc… Being closeted isn’t having a “Private Life” it is hiding who you are because you are ashamed and feel it is a dirty secret. Hollywood tries to pretend that they are liberal but they aren’t. They are the worst kind of bigots. The kind that blame others for their bigotry. “Gee, Actor, you should stay in the closet, because people in middle America Can’t handle it…not US, we’re cool, but people in Iowa are the bigots.” Most of us on here have come out at our jobs so these closet cases need to stop being so damn sanctimonious. Does an out actor have something to prove? Every actor has something to prove, every black actor, woman actor, older actor, actor just starting out…etc…
benlayvey
They must if they are ambitious enough to want to make that coveted $20mil/film. Sadly the blockbuster film market has as patron a largely straight simpleton population from the American backwater states who will find it difficult to separate sexuality of actor/character. Suppressing your sexual desires should come as no great trial if such paychecks are put into consideration. Otherwise one who decides to come out young must ready himself for a career in Indie films where the art of film making/acting actually matters. Its one that endures but the checks are not so huge. That is why most British actors are out because in England or indeed Europe, a good portrayal is all it takes for audiences to adore the actor- regardless of sexuality. Frankly, I’ll take English actors over American ones any day.
MissTransSylvaniaTV
I need a lipo. Thank god I am not in the closet.
Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
@No. 3 Bayonet
@No. 4 Republican
@No. 11 Geoff M
@No. 14 Spindoc
Oh such brave fellows we have here, so unflinching.
I CHALLENGE EACH OF YOU TO SPEND JUST 1 WEEK TELLING EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH THAT YOU ARE GAY. NO EXCEPTIONS! That means the lady or gent behind the counter at the dry cleaner, bank, coffee shop, gas station. EVERY SINGLE PLACE YOU GO AND EVERY PERSON YOU MEET. Oh, and no exceptions because you are with your Gran or Pappa, your boss, a loan officer. And don’t forget, when you are pulled over for a speeding ticket, you have to tell the officer “oh, by the way, I’m gay.” Have any of you had the guts to mention to a seat mate on a bus/airplane, oh yeah, I’m a big homo? And while you undertake, thank your luck that there won’t be cameras recording your every step.
Further, you know-it-alls fail to consider is that there are other lives involved too. Not everyone wants 15 minutes as a spectacle undermining their privacy. Can’t the significant other of a gay celebrity have their privacy? Wouldn’t every parent (well except for balloon boy’s) want to keep paparazzi away from their children? David Hyde Pierce has been with his boyfriend/now husband for 24 years, when he was selling ties at Bloomingdales 4 years BEFORE his acting career began. What about the boyfriend’s privacy?
Lastly, to Bayonet, just because you are a flaming gym queen doesn’t make you more of a man. You are just another bulging muscle fag pretending to be butch.
Bayonet
no. 17, Mike
LOLOL. Hilarious u old troll. U should be crushed like a bug.
blackjack44
@Republican: how do you know if that guy who has a “beard” isnt bisexual and prefers to date a woman at that time in his life? is his private life not private? what if hes bisexual but prefers to date women in general? is it his obligation to just come out and say “by the way im dating a woman but i also like men”? I dont think that would be the case
blackjack44
@ No. 17 Mike in Asheville: couldnt agree with you more buddy
Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
@No. 18 Bayonet
Bring it on pussy. Remember, dude, you suck cock too!
Cam
No. 17 · Mike in Asheville, nee “in Brooklyn”
@No. 3 Bayonet
@No. 4 Republican
@No. 11 Geoff M
@No. 14 Spindoc
Oh such brave fellows we have here, so unflinching.
I CHALLENGE EACH OF YOU TO SPEND JUST 1 WEEK TELLING EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH THAT YOU ARE GAY. NO EXCEPTIONS! That means the lady or gent behind the counter at the dry cleaner, bank, coffee shop, gas station. EVERY SINGLE PLACE YOU GO AND EVERY PERSON YOU MEET.
_________________________________________________
What a sad sad example you are. I’ll do you one better, I have worked in two very homophobic environments, one was in the govt. and another was in a company full of backslapping good old boys. I brought my boyfriend to company events at both places. So please stop pretending that it is such an invasion of privacy to ask that these actors act the same as every other out gay person on the planet. We keep comparing our struggle for civil rights to the black community, well time to put up or shut up…black actors can’t hide who THEY are and gay actors shouldn’t either.
Bayonet
@22, CAM
Amen brother, amen!
Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
Oh Cam you silly silly boy; reread your own words … [is it an] “invasion of privacy to ask that these actors act the same as every other out gay person on the plan?” Oh, are these actors doing exactly what every other gay person on the planet is doing? Some very private and some very out. Its a wide spectrum.
And for your information, I’ve been out and proud since age 20 in 1980. With my boyfriend/now husband, of 24 years, we attended Silicon Valley Republican fundraisers in the 1990s very vocally chastising them for supporting then Gov. Wilson’s veto of AB101 (anti-employment discrimination legislation). We even threatened, publicly through an article in the New York Times, to sue Wilson to return our $4000 in political contributions since Wilson promised to sign the bill as a candidate speaking at an HRC candidates forum. According to the NYT, it was the only case they could find where a politician returned campaign donations due to a claim of broken campaign promises.
My hubby also shouted down Clinton apologist (David Mixner) at the HRC San Francisco annual fundraiser for telling the crowd that we had to accept DADT. My hubby shouted “DO THE RIGHT THING” from our front row table (we used to be relatively strong HRC supporters buying a table every year — ended after HRC decided not to back marriage-equality in 1994/95 in Hawaii.
Our small company was an original underwriter (long before the mega companies that underwrite today) of OutFest and Academy of Friends. Any small business articles, dating back to early 1991 always referenced us as a gay couple. Whether its been hostile or friendly environments, we have always been very out loud and proud. Hubby even used to wear a “BIG FAG” t-shirt to the gay parades.
But all those were our decisions about us. It is very presumptuous and condescending to tell others how to live their lives. I referenced David Hyde Pierce because hubby and I have known them, not close friends but close enough that we have entertained eachother at home, since before David’s stardom. His boyfriend/husband, Brian has his own life too and I certainly respect that they enjoyed having their privacy once David’s stature grew. We crossed paths many times at OutFest fundraisers, LA AIDS charity programs, and socially among friends. Anyone and everyone around would know that everyone there was gay. There wasn’t any secret and nobody was hiding anything. That some 20 years later David and Brian reassessed their exposure is also their private affair.
So get off your high horses. All sorts of us having been the ones promoting the gay cause for our entire adult lives — thats 32 years for me and 32 years for my hubby. We (separately cause we did not know eachother then) marched and shouted at the White Night riot; we marched for the Names Project; we protested the baptists holding a convention in SF; we provided health care for gay partners starting back in 1992! You guys with such little minds think that just because someone, a celebrity, doesn’t shout out about being gay at every turn and opportunity ignore all the work that has been done.
HIV/AIDS is manageable today because of all the civil rights work that so many, and very many in entertainment, pushed and lobbied for. There is marriage, albeit in just a few states, because we were there pushing for it since the early 1990s. It great that the newer and younger generations are joining the fights, but hardly means that those of us who have been shouldering the load did not nor do not a lot of the heavy lifting. Enjoy the freedoms that we fought so hard for, grasp them firmly and forge forward. But enough of the picking on those who choose for themselves how they contribute to gay civil rights.
Cam
No. 24 · Mike in Asheville, nee “in Brooklyn”said..
Oh Cam you silly silly boy; reread your own words … [is it an] “invasion of privacy to ask that these actors act the same as every other out gay person on the plan?” Oh, are these actors doing exactly what every other gay person on the planet is doing? Some very private and some very out. Its a wide spectrum.
So get off your high horses. All sorts of us having been the ones promoting the gay cause for our entire adult lives — thats 32 years for me and 32 years for my hubby. We (separately cause we did not know eachother then) marched and shouted at the White Night riot; we marched for the Names Project; we protested the baptists holding a convention in SF; we provided health care for gay partners starting back in 1992! You guys with such little minds think that just because someone, a celebrity, doesn’t shout out about being gay at every turn and opportunity ignore all the work that has been done.
____________________________
Yes, and now you are still locked into the mindset of decades past. Where it was something to be hidden. Don’t try to say that we are the ones with little minds. You are the person asking Rosa Parks why she is bitching and telling her that the seats up front are just as comfortable. Matt Damons sexual practices with his wife, is private, Matt Damon being a man is not private. Halle Barry’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom is private, Halle Barry being black isn’t. What you support would be the same as if Halle Barry put on light colored make-up and tried to pass as white.
Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"
WTF Cam, can’t you read? Locked in decades past? Sorry Cam, but still going strong and still very active still fighting for our rights, but choosing to do my thing my way. Like, after 22 years of living together, getting married BECAUSE WE WANTED TO.
Per your idiotic comment re: Rosa Parks, little boy, at 18 (1978) I was a regular at the Steamworks in Berkeley. There were plenty a time when another white guy would, while I was engaged with a black man or Hispanic (and sometimes both), try and break me away saying some stupid shit like “you don’t want to touch that!” I’d reply, “Of course I do, these guys are fun!” My display of rebellion was just a bit of dust compared to the heroics of Rosa Parks.
Cam, I know you think that you know what is in the best interests for the gay community, and, I hope, you give more than simple words here at Queerty. Stretch your mind a little and give others the same benefit that they are doing, for them, what is best. Its national socialism (ie., Nazis) that instruct everyone how to behave and act for the cause of their community. I much prefer that each and every member of a society is endowed with their own right to choose their own pursuit of happiness [so long as that pursuit deny others their rights).
I know that my choices hardly reflect the opinions of all, as evidenced right here on this post on Queerty. I am not telling how to do your thing, I am asking that you stop instructing others how they should live their lives. Isn’t that what freedom is all about?
roger
I applaud you and your husband Mike for all the work you’ve done as activists; however, I have trouble with personalities with large platforms who feel no obligation or responsibility to use their influence for the greater good.
We can talk about how Anderson Cooper is out and about with his boyfriend and not hiding anything, but for the general public not on the internet or reading gay gossip blogs, they really don’t have a clue. Not that his being gay should have anything to do with his job but for close minded America, they need to know that here is an intelligent, smart, classy, good looking guy who we like and invite into our living rooms and he happens to be gay. It helps to erode the stereotypes and so I do find his attitude of not addressing his sexuality to be self serving and selfish. It’s not only Anderson either. He’s easiest to use as an example at this point in time.
Pat McGroin
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Pat