There Is A God…

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While it’s completely speculative and based on nothing but Hollywood gossip, it seems Whitney Houston has filed papers to separate from that ol’ crackhead Bobby Brown. This had better be true, because if our hopes of getting the old Whitney back are dashed we’ll be forced to go on a rampage, lashing out at anyone in our sight. Luckily, we’re usually alone, so it will be self-inflicted. Cross your fingers for divorce! (Although, the odds of Brown stringing enough words together to form a coherent, persuasive sentence seem pretty slim.)