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There Is No More Metrosexual. And There’s Certainly No ‘Retrosexual’ Either

Oh for the love of all that is sweet and holy. Must we really deal with yet another straight guy off-shoot trend? Haven’t we learned our lesson after what happened with metrosexual? No, obviously, because here comes a retrosexual.

Committing trend spotting malpractice, the Philadelphia Inquirer insists it has stumbled upon the new burgeoning class of straight guy. And they actually used the word “menaissance” to describe it. (Okay, they lifted it from a blog, but still.)

Think of him as the anti-metrosexual, the opposite of that guy who emerged in the 1990s in all his pedicured, moussed-up, skinny-jeans glory. That man-boy was searching for his inner girl, it was argued. The retrosexual, however, wants to put the man back into manhood.

In other words, the boy wants to grow up, trading adolescent behaviors – working in a coffee shop, hanging with girls instead of dating them, and worrying about his hair – for a man who can take care of business, according to Josh Weil, cofounder of Youth Trends in Ramsey, N.J., who has tweeted about the macho-man look.

“I’m a strong guy, I’m very comfortable with who I am, I’m carrying around a little attitude,” he said, describing the philosophy.

Say goodbye to the sensitive guy who cries at the drop of a pink tee, or the slacker living with his mother, playing video games. This new man has ambition and aplomb, brawn and brains.

Think Cary Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, or Ernest Hemingway.

Except not only is the retrosexual craze a fantasy — because there have always been manly men walking around, even while the straights were turning themselves gay with hair goop — but it’s an old one at that. Rather, we’d like someone to explore this group of people: the dandy bears. Make that a trend.

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