GOP DEATH WATCH

There’s A New Reason To Visit Montana, Bringing Total Reasons To One

There’s good news and bad news for gays in Montana! Good news: The state Republican party no longer wants to throw you all in jail. Bad news: you’re in Montana. (We kid, we kid!)

The state’s Supreme Court struck down anti-homosexuality laws in the late 90s, but it’s taken fifteen years for the GOP to catch up. Their official party platform for the last decade-and-a half-called for “legislation to keep homosexual acts illegal,” which is why Montanans have always been known for their lousy haircuts and lackluster window treatments.

This weekend at the Republican Party convention in Missoula, delegates had a change of heart, though, and finally removed the hateful plank from the platform. Is it because they all love homos now? No, they claim: it’s just that they needed a shorter platform. Because reading long things is hard.

But whatever the reason, welcome to the 21st century, Republicans!