The good folks over at Buzzfeed have done us all a huge favor and taste tested a variety of flavored lubricants to let us know which ones are worth buying.
Seven “lube experts” (whatever that means) tested five different flavored lubes: pink lemonade, chocolate orange, green apple, dulce de leche, and mojito peppermint. They based their judgements on four qualities: taste, smell, texture, and usability.
The lube that ranked the highest was green apple, with six out of the seven lube experts saying they’d use it in real life. Although none of them could actually guess the flavor was green apple, they still found it to be the most enjoyable of the batch. One expert described it as having “a nice watery, light feeling.” Another called it “pleasant.”
The flavor that ranked the lowest was dulce de leche, which for some reason doesn’t surprise us. None of the lube experts said they would ever use it. One described it as, “When you burn your tongue–it’s like that!” Another said, “I’ve tasted better cum than that.” And another added, “Oh my god it smells so bad. This smells like those Chinese medicine balls that I was force-fed as a child.”
We think we speak for everyone when we say: Thanks, lube experts!