This Is Barack Obama’s First Attempt To Get Elected Student Council President Next Year

Did you guys know Barack Hussein Obama wants to extend his dictatorship over the United States of Funemployment? But this was his plan all along. Knowing that if you let him host four more LGBT-inclusive Easter Egg Rolls beginning in 2013 that he would spend some of his political capital on your rights, Obama planned to ignore you guys during his first term. But then you tweeted your fury and chained yourself to the gate in front of his house and he had to make some last minute, calculated decisions to throw you a couple bones. So here comes his first re-election campaign video, where even people who don’t agree with him — but respect and trust him — are encouraged to cast their vote his way.