Watch out, homosexuals. Sylvia Ann Driskell has a bone to pick with each and every one of you. She’s suing every homosexual in the world for, wait for it, being gay.
Last week, the 66-year-old Nebraska woman filed a rambling, seven-page handwritten lawsuit with the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard “in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?”
In the lawsuit, Driskell calls herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus H. Christ. She cites the Webster English Dictionary, the Bible, and herself as evidence to support her case. She also misspells the word liar as “lier” several times and demonstrates a complete lack of understanding in how to properly use a comma.
The good folks over at Patheos got their hands on a copy of Driskell’s lawsuit and, we have to say, it makes for quite an entertaining read.
Since no attorney is willing to touch the case of Driskell v. Homosexuals, Driskell will be representing herself.
No word yet on who will be representing every single gay person in the world.
Todd Haley
She’s probably going to need my address, as she has no idea that I exist
Brooke Tummino
I didn’t know there was a National register of gays. Did we sign it at PRIDE? haha
Chris Duffy
Why do I think if we counter-sued and won, all we’d get in the settlement is a double wide stuffed with smelly couches and cool ranch Doritos, along with a 91 Chrysler minivan missing a fender?
dvlaries
She’s right. Don’t you remember how Massachusetts, the first state with marriage equality, immediately broke off the continent and drown in the North Atlantic…?
*
Bring popcorn, The Crazy between now and the ruling, is gonna be the greatest show on Earth.
Shirley White
Bring it!
lykeitiz
Do we all need individual lawyers, or can Will Truman represent us all?
IcarusD
I think it would be hilarious if this went to trial, but I don’t see how the judge could avoid just throwing it out on basic process issues. Individuals can group together to file a class action suit, but how can an individual sue a class of unnamed people? Who does she serve papers to, and how can her case proceed without that? And the remedy she’s seeking – having the judge agree that homosexuality is a sin – is simply outside of any court’s jurisdiction. I would so love for this to go to trial, but I think that’s simply impossible.
MarionPaige
in theory, if she manages to be granted leave to proceed In forma pauperis, the US Marshall could have to serve a copy of the lawsuit on ALL KNOWN HOMOSEXUALs (assuming the woman has such a list or can obtain such a list). So, the end result of the suit is that it could be dismissed BUT, a lot of guys could be outed as gay in a public record. The concerns are:
1. How dumb is she that she COULD be going about getting a public list of gay people in a public record that anyone could read?
2. What if a bunch of other idiots ape this stunt and sue all homosexuals solely for the purpose of outing people as homosexual / maintaining a NATIONAL REGISTRY OF KNOWN HOMOSEXUALS?
BUT THEN, White Queens all want to be outed and listed in Public Records. Maybe the National Registry of Known Homosexuals can be confined to Tired Ass White Queens. I mean, what harm could that do?
Luis Collazo
They should force her to pay to serve papers to every gay at $200 a pop!
MarionPaige
in answer to a prior comment … you can sue a lot of people when you don’t know their actual names by listing them as JOHN DOES (and then used the discovery process to determine the actual names of the people).
Jennifer Mercury
So, if homosexual people can prove any damage from this, we will be able to sue her right back, I hope?
Jaime Medina
What happened? Did she find her husband cheating with a guy, now she wants revenge? Lol
MarionPaige
of course, we can probably rest a little easy here knowing that f-king Judges are too f-kindly lazy to entertain lawsuits with millions of defendants.
IcarusD
@MarionPaige: Oh, yes, I had forgotten about listing them as JOHN DOES. But does she then need to identify their actual names (since she isn’t seeking remedy from them), or could she proceed like that?
msfrost
That’s the same as suing all redheads for being redheads.
SammySeattle
Don’t bother me, I’m working on my defense and planning an outfit for my court appearance.
Sameer Nurani
Bring it on biatch!
MarionPaige
Some people, see a lawsuit as win or lose. However, other people see lawsuit as a weapon and winning or losing is not even a consideration. For example, if you are clever, you know how to draft a federal lawsuit that is virtually guaranteed to be dismissed.
Why would you deliberately draft a lawsuit so that it is dismissed?
Well, you know what? There are some dumb Federal Judges who haven’t yet figured out that there are people drafting lawsuits that are designed to be dismissed. THE KEY POINT is that LAWSUIT = PUBLIC. You can legally make something public by filing a lawsuit.
Atrius
It should go without saying that she has a fool for a client.
MarionPaige
@MarionPaige: “You can legally make something public by filing a lawsuit.”
That rush of bit torrent lawsuits was an enterprise based on the FACT that most people would rush to settle rather than to be associated with porn in a public record.
Jesus Malverde
The courtroom will be very cruisy! What should I wear?
J.r. LeJeune
Just goes to show you that idiots and their money are soon parted. Hopefully the looney bin has openings.
Jeffrey Thomas
http://www.freewoodpost.com/2013/06/01/jesus-christ-files-lawsuit-against-gop-for-slander/
Dan Rucks
As if she can magically pull herself away from her KFC bucket long enough to dial a lawyer.
jason smeds
This may be an example of homophobia-as-gender-war. Women tend to feel offended by male homosexuality because it means male power.
If homosexuality exists in men who are also attracted to women, it represents a threat to her ability to control his behavior.
Keith McNeil
I think they dropped my notice off at my closet door……
Stephen Meeks
Yet another christian nutcase
David Andrew Roubideaux
That’s soooo gayyyy!!! *gigggles* :)’s
Saint Law
@jason smeds: Um, no. What controls your homosexual acting out is a lack of any man to act out with. Which is why you use these comment boards to do so, you impotent fug.
Saint Law
@MarionPaige: Does anybody actually read this crazy hag’s posts? Apart from crazy hag hisself that is.
John Menard
She needs a good gay therapist!!!
fetch3535
Jesus H. Christ? I’d always heard it, but I guess this makes it official.
fetch3535
Jesus H. Christ? I’d always heard it that way, but I guess this makes it official and of record.
GG
In her actual filing, under plaintiff’s (sic), she lists herself as ‘Ambassador’ (my quotation marks) for God and Jesus. Therefore, I hope the suit progresses; I look forward to God and Jesus taking the witness stand – for a variety of reasons.
Barb Kipper
Weirdo: “coming out”
jantheman4903
the woman is truly mentally ill. if u saw it i think you would find it sad.every once in a while she gets away from her caretakers. am guessing she is schizophrenic. if u saw her, she is terrified and it seems like the words just push out of her. but yea on paper looks heinous. its a delusion. she has several.
Giancarlo85
LOL Suing them for what? What did they do to her? She is truly insane and needs to be committed to a mental hospital.
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: Lol… I meant “suing us” 😉
Frivilious lawsuit from a mental nutcase. She might be related to that California nutcase of a lawyer who is trying to push a proposition to legalize murder.
Kangol
Lil Miss Nebraska needs a girlfriend to turn her the f*ck out.
Repression and self-loathing are a bytch!
EN Hidalgo
If I were a state I would immediately approve the death penalty for homophobes with no remorse or regret. They would have to die for their Jesus.
David Lange
Off hand- how many cats do you think she has?
henniedebeer
Would that be only homosexuals? Because then members of other gender preferences/identities are fine, right?
Also, when did the Registration Act happen? I didn’t sign anything…
henniedebeer
@David Lange: I don’t know… how many cats are in Nebraska? I bet all but one or two belong to her…
Michael Jarboe
https://www.change.org/p/lgbt-people-sane-people-sylvia-driskell-is-suing-all-gay-people-we-want-judge-judy-to-hear-the-case?recruiter=2521508&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_page&utm_term=mob-xs-no_src-no_msg
jantheman4903
@Giancarlo85: i agree but she presents no harm to herself or others so she cant be forced. just every once in a while..bangzoom. i know it sounds threatening ..but if u saw her. not worth trouble hating.she is sad,mostly scared and schizophrenic. she did this a couple of years ago too. its just her fixation. have seen her on news and ..i can’t even hold her responsible. but it doest make a good headline.
Arnold Wagner
I spoke with the clerk of the district court on the phone just now. She advised me that the case was dismissed without prejudice based on lack of jurisdiction
Sister Iona Dubble-Wyde
http://m.omaha.com/news/nebraska/federal-judge-dismisses-nebraskan-s-suit-against-all-homosexuals/article_ac48f042-f43e-11e4-8161-63df2bd2525d.html
Chris L. Reynolds
Can all “Us”Homosexuals counter Sue her for colossal stupidity?
jwtraveler
@msfrost: I’m an English teacher. Can I sue her for butchering the English language?
Homo Erectus
If she’s suing ALL homosexuals that must include all 6 of her ex-husbands including the one who’s in prison for dealing meth?
@Arnold Wagner: Yay!
dvlaries
Now that it’s dismissed, how fast will the old bat get a GoFundMe up for her hurt feelings…?
bmurray
I had some fun drafting an Answer to that batshit crazy complaint. Check it out. http://www.backthatsassup.com/2015/05/so-about-that-batshit-crazy-anti-gay-nebraska-suit/
bmurray
I had some fun drafting an Answer to that batshit crazy Complaint. Check it out: http://www.backthatsassup.com/2015/05/so-about-that-batshit-crazy-anti-gay-nebraska-suit/
Realitycheck
@jason smeds:
jason smeds
This may be an example of homophobia-as-gender-war. Women tend to feel offended by male homosexuality because it means male power.
If homosexuality exists in men who are also attracted to women, it represents a threat to her ability to control his behavior.
=========================================================
You are completely insane, you are so detached from reality is not funny.
I have no doubt, you are an old lonely man with nobody to talk to and
have lost any much needed human contact to keep your view in reference
of reality.
Realitycheck
@David Lange:
May be none, she probably eats them. LOL
Blazipitous
This Saint Law does seem quite obsessed with Jason Smeds … Mmm!
jwtraveler
I was disappointed to hear that the suit has been thrown out of court. I was looking forward to watching the trial on Comedy Central.