LEGAL BENDER

This Nebraska Woman Is Suing All — Yes, ALL — Homosexuals

scales-of-justice-art-c061b98727a88b2eWatch out, homosexuals. Sylvia Ann Driskell has a bone to pick with each and every one of you. She’s suing every homosexual in the world for, wait for it, being gay.

Last week, the 66-year-old Nebraska woman filed a rambling, seven-page handwritten lawsuit with the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard “in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?”

In the lawsuit, Driskell calls herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus H. Christ. She cites the Webster English Dictionary, the Bible, and herself as evidence to support her case. She also misspells the word liar as “lier” several times and demonstrates a complete lack of understanding in how to properly use a comma.

The good folks over at Patheos got their hands on a copy of Driskell’s lawsuit and, we have to say, it makes for quite an entertaining read.

Since no attorney is willing to touch the case of Driskell v. Homosexuals, Driskell will be representing herself.

No word yet on who will be representing every single gay person in the world.